Here we are at the finish line of a cuckoo season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. In the spirit of Real Housewives Reunions past and present, we must pay homage to all of the fights, cake throws, and anti-Semitic slander that went down. Since we’ve already lived through it once, why not do it all over again? Warning: There are split screen throw downs and Release the gimp! moments in store (i.e., Kim D makes an appearance). It’s GO time!
First things first, the attire. Melissa Gorga, in my opinion, wins best in show for this reunion because she went for cocktail chic instead of junior prom night
circa 1995. Controversial opinion: Margaret Josephs comes in second, if only because that shade of green is perfection on her, and I’m loving the noticeable absence of pigtails. Teresa Giudice is looking very…Teresa, which is pretty damn good for someone who struggles valiantly against the gravity of her hairline. Meanwhile, Danielle Staub, Siggy Flicker, and Dolores Catania bring up the caboose of this fashion(ish) show with fullly engorged bubbies On Display! On Display! On Display! in more bronzer than the smush-room of the Jersey Shore house ever saw. Let’s hope these couches get a good dry cleaning after this sh*t goes down.