Last night's Teen Mom 2 brought tears, tears, and more tears. Leah Messer finds that a reconciliation is not in the cards, while Jenelle Evans continues to screw up her life one failed drug test at a time. Kailyn Lowry can't understand why Jo Rivera is playing her. It's totally different than when she did it to him! Finally, poor Chelsea Houska. I think all that bleach has permanently affected her brain and her judgment. Who am I kidding? I am giving her hair dye far too much credit!
We begin the episode with Leah. She's upset that estranged husband Corey Simms doesn't want to try to salvage their relationship. She only cheated once, so what is the big deal? Their twins are precious, but they are even cuter when they are biting their mom. Leah receives an e-mail from her attorney about a settlement agreement. Also not wanting to reconcile is Jo with his ex Kailyn. Kailyn is sad that Jo has moved on with his own video vixen, but at least her bestie is home from college to keep her company. She tells her friend about her love triangle with Jo and Jordan, as well as her non-existent relationship with her mom. It's been five months since the pair has talked, so Kailyn calls her. After being sent to her mother's voicemail, Kailyn has Isaac leave a giggling message of nonsense before she talks. She doubts she'll get a call in return.
Chelsea is thinking about quitting her job at the tanning bed. I don't think she's thought this through. How is she going to maintain that natural orange glow throughout the winter months? I am also confused as to what kind of headdress she is sporting. Oh wait, that's her actual hair. WTH? Doesn't she want to go to beauty school? Who would let her color their hair after seeing what she does to her own? Chelsea and Adam Lind are hot and heavy again, despite Chelsea's best efforts to take things slow. Bwahahahaha! Adam arrives, and Chelsea begins the requisite baby talk we've all grown to loathe. With her twentieth birthday being the following day, Chelsea requests her gift from Adam. It's a promise ring. He promises not to be as much of a d-bag as in season's past. It's a start. Baby Aubree bursts into tears at her mother's excitement. Smart kid!
With Thanksgiving just two days away, I must give thanks for the technology that allows me a live stream of Jenelle EvansandCourtland Rogers watching Teen Mom 2. Amazing, right? Before last night's UStream event, Jenelle tweeted, "Courtland gave me a HUGE surprise today. I'm so in love and you will see the surprise on UStream!!"
After listening to Jenelle and Courtland discuss last night's Teen Mom 2 for what felt like eons, Jenelle announced that she and Courtland are engaged! She added, “I’m not pregnant, but there is a reason behind why he got engaged to me. If you knew the reason, you would understand why we are taking this step. I hope you guys are happy for us.”
Last Wednesday, Jenelle sent out a twitpic that sparked engagement rumors. The backstory… Jenelle and Courtland went to the mall. While Jenelle ate her lunch and stressed that her missing-at-the-mall boyfriend was cheating on her, Courtland secretly bought several carats of diamonds. Needless to say, all cheating worries were forgotten when Courltand surprised Jenelle with the rings. Jenelle tweeted a picture of the rings, explaining that they were "just you're my girlfriend" rings. Less than a week later, there's a new ring and an official engagement.
First comes marriage baby, then comes baby engagements, then comes college rehab, then comes messy breakups, then comes "just friends" diamond rings. Jenelle Evans! What are we going to do with you?
Jenelle's whirlwind romance with Courtland Rogers began around October 6. Jenelle made it Twitter official, when she tweeted @Courtland, "You will always be my boo!" The love birds moved in together after only two weeks, but they broke up before Jenelle finished unpacking her Uggs. Seconds later, Jenelle had a change of heart, remembering that Courtland is her boo!
Since then, Jenelle has been too busy promoting Teen Mom 2and sharing kiss-y face and new house twitpics to create too much drama. UNTIL TODAY.
I don’t even know what to say about the fact that train wrecks of Teen Mom 2 are back for another season. Part of me roots for these girls like no tomorrow, but the other part of me wants them to get their shiz together off camera and step up to the plate. Regardless, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Messer (now Calvert) are back for yet another round.
Right off the bat, we’re reminded of the tension (for lack of a better word) between Jenelle and mom Barbara. Jenelle has broken up with Kieffer Delp while completing a rehab stint for her marijuana addiction, and she’s been diagnosed as bi-polar. She plans to stay on the straight and narrow. I’ll keep my laughing to a minimum. Jenelle shares that she and her mother are getting along well, and her attorney Dustin Sullivan calls to remind her that one passed drug test isn’t a victory. She needs to remain on the straight and narrow.
Chelsea recaps her past with the always awesome and supportive Adam Lind. While Chelsea appreciates that her mom is willing to help her with daughter Aubree’s childcare, she hates that her job at the tanning bed keeps her from spending so much time with her kid. Chelsea reveals to her mom that Adam may move in over the weekend, although they aren’t quite back together…at all. He’s just being nice. Shocking, I know!
There is nothing like perfect timing, amirite? Right on the heels of Teen Mom 2's season premiere, the girls are gearing up to get their names in the press – big time! Leah Messer is knocked up with baby number three, and Kailyn Lowry tied the knot with fiancé, Javi Marroquin.
Did anyone know she was engaged? Am I the only one who tunes this show out? “You just know when it’s right,” Kailyngushed to In Touch Weekly. The magazine claims they obtained a copy of the marriage license between the two, which you can see on their site.
The pair reportedly got hitched in September, but they are waiting until now to reveal their secret marriage? Thing a little thing called MTV press has something to do with that?
Apparently, the stars of Teen Mom want to accomplish as much as they can before they're of legal drinking age. One Teen Mom 2 star will have three college degrees babies before 21, one Teen Mom star has undergone three plastic surgeries, and one Teen Mom 2 star has logged three (to the tenth power) acts of volunteerism breakups and reconciliations before 21.
Leah confirmed the US Weekly story via facebook and tweeted:
"THANKS SOOO MUCH EVERYONE! #PositiveTweets makes this momma soooo happy!!! @Calvert505 are in such a good place! Love all of you!"
"Being a teen mom was difficult, but I'm older and in a different place now — married to Jeremy and excited for our family to grow," Leah said. "We feel incredibly blessed and look forward to this next chapter in our lives." Oh, Leah, why the rush? You might be "older" but you are still only 20.
Next, this week's In Touch cover revealed (more) plastic surgery for a different Teen Mom star.
Sad news, Teen Mom fans. The whirlwind romance between Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers has come to an end. Last week, Jenelle gushed about their "perfect couple" status. "We are moving into our own house and are very happy about this decision," Jenelle boasted. "We get along great. We haven’t argued yet and have been living together for 2 weeks!”
Where did they go wrong? Let me count the ways…Jenelle hasn't said much… yet. It's only a matter of time before she famously over shares the details via Twitter, smoke signals, Sulia, messenger pigeons, Facebook, and her blog. For now, though, Jenelle simply wrote, "I'm single once again. I ended things and didn't think things were working out between me and Courtland. I rather not go into detail why but I'm happy with this decision."
The gossip blogs have started speculating on which ex the Teen Mom 2 star will rebound with – Kieffer Delp or Gary Head. How do you choose between two such upstanding men? First you have Kieffer, who is threatening to release a Jenelle and Kieffer sex tape. On Thursday, Kieffer tweeted, “When this vid comes out shes gonna cwy like the CRYBABY she is." Lovely. Then, there's Gary, the alleged abusive drug addict. Hopefully, Jenelle will take notice of the other (little) man in her life and rebound with (only) him. Note to Janelle: His name is Jace, and he calls you Mommy.