I don’t even know what to say about the fact that train wrecks of Teen Mom 2 are back for another season. Part of me roots for these girls like no tomorrow, but the other part of me wants them to get their shiz together off camera and step up to the plate. Regardless, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Messer (now Calvert) are back for yet another round.
Right off the bat, we’re reminded of the tension (for lack of a better word) between Jenelle and mom Barbara. Jenelle has broken up with Kieffer Delp while completing a rehab stint for her marijuana addiction, and she’s been diagnosed as bi-polar. She plans to stay on the straight and narrow. I’ll keep my laughing to a minimum. Jenelle shares that she and her mother are getting along well, and her attorney Dustin Sullivan calls to remind her that one passed drug test isn’t a victory. She needs to remain on the straight and narrow.
Chelsea recaps her past with the always awesome and supportive Adam Lind. While Chelsea appreciates that her mom is willing to help her with daughter Aubree’s childcare, she hates that her job at the tanning bed keeps her from spending so much time with her kid. Chelsea reveals to her mom that Adam may move in over the weekend, although they aren’t quite back together…at all. He’s just being nice. Shocking, I know!
There is nothing like perfect timing, amirite? Right on the heels of Teen Mom 2's season premiere, the girls are gearing up to get their names in the press – big time! Leah Messer is knocked up with baby number three, and Kailyn Lowry tied the knot with fiancé, Javi Marroquin.
Did anyone know she was engaged? Am I the only one who tunes this show out? “You just know when it’s right,” Kailyngushed to In Touch Weekly. The magazine claims they obtained a copy of the marriage license between the two, which you can see on their site.
The pair reportedly got hitched in September, but they are waiting until now to reveal their secret marriage? Thing a little thing called MTV press has something to do with that?
Apparently, the stars of Teen Mom want to accomplish as much as they can before they're of legal drinking age. One Teen Mom 2 star will have three college degrees babies before 21, one Teen Mom star has undergone three plastic surgeries, and one Teen Mom 2 star has logged three (to the tenth power) acts of volunteerism breakups and reconciliations before 21.
Leah confirmed the US Weekly story via facebook and tweeted:
"THANKS SOOO MUCH EVERYONE! #PositiveTweets makes this momma soooo happy!!! @Calvert505 are in such a good place! Love all of you!"
"Being a teen mom was difficult, but I'm older and in a different place now — married to Jeremy and excited for our family to grow," Leah said. "We feel incredibly blessed and look forward to this next chapter in our lives." Oh, Leah, why the rush? You might be "older" but you are still only 20.
Next, this week's In Touch cover revealed (more) plastic surgery for a different Teen Mom star.
Sad news, Teen Mom fans. The whirlwind romance between Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers has come to an end. Last week, Jenelle gushed about their "perfect couple" status. "We are moving into our own house and are very happy about this decision," Jenelle boasted. "We get along great. We haven’t argued yet and have been living together for 2 weeks!”
Where did they go wrong? Let me count the ways…Jenelle hasn't said much… yet. It's only a matter of time before she famously over shares the details via Twitter, smoke signals, Sulia, messenger pigeons, Facebook, and her blog. For now, though, Jenelle simply wrote, "I'm single once again. I ended things and didn't think things were working out between me and Courtland. I rather not go into detail why but I'm happy with this decision."
The gossip blogs have started speculating on which ex the Teen Mom 2 star will rebound with – Kieffer Delp or Gary Head. How do you choose between two such upstanding men? First you have Kieffer, who is threatening to release a Jenelle and Kieffer sex tape. On Thursday, Kieffer tweeted, “When this vid comes out shes gonna cwy like the CRYBABY she is." Lovely. Then, there's Gary, the alleged abusive drug addict. Hopefully, Jenelle will take notice of the other (little) man in her life and rebound with (only) him. Note to Janelle: His name is Jace, and he calls you Mommy.
Are you still with me? Here goes nothing… on her blog, the Teen Mom 2 star proudly proclaims, “I think I have broken the “Gary/Kieffer” Spell I was under! YES!" Yes, Kieffer Delp and Jenelle are off again. So sad. Just a few days after that shocker expected turn of events, Jenelle declares her love for a new guy, Courtland Rogers.
Jenelle shares, "Courtland and myself have made it official that we are in a relationship now. I'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life. Everyone is going to love him. He is so caring, loyal, and knows how to take care of himself. I have a good feeling about this relationship."
In Farrah Abraham's memoir, the Teen Mom wrote about her relationship with Sophia's dad, Derek Underwood. Sadly, Derek passed away before Sophia was born, and now Farrah Abraham is blaming Derek for their troubled relationship in My Teenage Dream Ended.
Derek's mom Stormie Clark is not happy about Farrah's depiction of Derek.
StormietellsOK! Magazine, "Derek loved Farrah. He would have never laid a hand on her. They argued just like any normal teenage couple, but he was not the person that she is portraying him to be.”
Farrah hasn't kept in touch with Derek's family since his death. Stormie filed for visitation rights of Sophia, hoping to be a part of her granddaughter's life. As we saw last season on Teen Mom, Farrah was less than thrilled about the idea.
With the exception of Jenelle Evans, the cast of Teen Mom 2 has been relatively quiet lately. That is, until now. I must say, with all the drama that is usually surrounding Leah Messer, her new husband Jeremy Calvert , and her ex-husband Corey Simms, I am surprised we haven’t heard more about her in the tabloids.
Here’s a quick recap for those of you whose memory may be hazy: high school girl has one-night stand with guy who needs subtitles, subtitles guy really likes girl, girl learns she pregnant (with twins, no less!) so she can no longer cheer and attempts to date subtitles guy. Cheating rumors abound with girl’s ex, couple breaks up, twins are born (one with special needs), co-parenting occurs, reconciliation occurs, a nasty trailer occurs, a televised wedding occurs, newlyweds struggle to cope with toddlers, especially since one is developmentally delayed, cheating rumors abound again, subtitles guy buys new truck instead of moving family out of nasty trailer, couple divorces, girl meets new guy, marries new guy a few months later. Are we all up to speed now?