Basketball Wives Recap: Loose Ladies Hate Kitten Heels

I hope none of y’all missed last night’s educational and always classy episode of Basketball Wives.  I learned, among other things, never to wear flip flops with a kitten heel, and to duck and cover if I ever find myself dining with Evelyn in a wine cellar.

We resume with the ladies arguing in a cabana.  Kesha peaces out, and Suzie walks her out, but thinks better of leaving Kenya alone with Evelyn and Tami to spin more lies.  Her word play is ridiculous.  Kenya never SAID that Evelyn was loose, she just said she HEARD Evelyn was loose.  Tami finds Kenya to be very untrustworthy if she can’t remember what she’s said.  Evelyn is stewing quietly, and Kenya decides to cut her losses and leave.  Evelyn then rants about Kenya’s elderly kitten heels and her future a$$ whooping.

Royce is meeting  with JoJo Brim and Talia Coles to discuss a potential hip-hop fitness video.  It sounds like a cool project, and if I weren’t so lazy, I would certainly exercise with a Royce DVD.  Jenn and Suzie come over to Kesha’s for wine, and once again Kenya’s kitten heels are the main topic of conversation.  Jenn hasn’t had any issues with Kenya, as they both talk about their ongoing divorces.  Suzie is appalled her friend may like Kenya, much less think she’s “normal,” and Kesha warns Jenn that she’s being idolized by a cuckoo bird.  Kesha also wants to call the other girl who was in the conversation when Kenya called Evelyn loose.

Over lunch, Evelyn fills in Shaunie on the Kenya/Kesha debacle.  Good gracious, this show is so scripted.  Evelyn no longer cares about Kenya and Kesha’s problems with one another.  She is mad as fire about being called a ho loose.  She is looking forward to speaking to Kesha’s friend, who was present for Kenya’s loose lips.  Evelyn’s ring is super ridiculous, by the way.  Speaking of Kenya, she meets up with her “favorite girl” Jenn.  Jenn totally relates…she’s her own favorite girl.  Kenya is able to schmooze her way into Jenn’s good graces.  It’s like Kenya is to Jenn what Jenn used to be to Evelyn, no?

Royce visits Tami to talk about her upcoming play.  Tami is proud of her friend and having fun until Royce mentions Suzie. Royce hadn’t heard about the food stamps comment.  Tami reveals how difficult it is working with Kenya, and Royce jokes that she brought this upon herself.  Tami informs Royce that she will be joining Tami to listen to back-up choirs for Kenya.  Royce is not on board, but she’s willing to do it for Tami.  I do think their friendship is extremely genuine.


In Beverly Hills, Shaunie meets with her manager Phil, and hopes to get her daughter Mimi’s favorite band, Mindless Behavior, to show up at Mimi’s tenth birthday party.  Phil is going to try to make it happen.  Shaunie is hoping that if they can’t make it to Mimi’s party, she can get Mimi backstage to meet them at their concert.

Kesha’s friend Sakara arrives in Miami, and Kesha brings her up to speed on her battle with Kenya.  Sakara is willing to tell the truth about what was said in that fateful conversation.  Kenya totally called Evelyn loose.  Meanwhile, Suzie is trying to mend fences with Tami and she hopes Royce will come along for moral support.  Suzie also pleads with Royce to make up with Jenn.  Royce doesn’t want to be friends with her, but she’s happy to be cordial.

Evelyn and Tami meet Sakara with Kesha.  Sakara doesn’t want to stir up the drama, and while she corroborates Kesha’s story, she does say that Kenya appeared to be trying to compliment Evelyn, but went in the totally wrong direction.  Evelyn can’t wait to torture Kenya, and even Kesha fears for her nemesis.

Mimi is having a cooking lesson-themed birthday party.  She is beyond shocked when Mindless Behavior shows up in the kitchen.  She starts bawling, much like young girls do when they meet their tween heart throbs.  The band invites her to their concert and promises quality time backstage and the opportunity to come on stage with them for a number.  Mimi is so overwhelmed.  It’s precious.  I’m guessing that VH1’s next reality show is going to follow this boy band.  At the concert, the band gets the crowd to wish Mimi a happy birthday.  I am in awe of how tall Mimi is, but then I remember who her father is.

Royce and Tami arrive at a bar to have cocktails and hear Suzie’s apology.  Royce sits in the middle while Suzie kisses Tami’s arse with her “I’m sorry, I respect you so much” speech.  Tami even hugs her!  Finally, an altercation that doesn’t end in more drama.  Take note ladies!

The women (minus Royce and Jenn, add Sakara) are meeting for dinner.  Haven’t they learned their lesson with these group dinners?  Kenya tenses up automatically while Kesha explains why Sakara is in attendance.  Evelyn puts her on blast, and Kenya admits she may have called Evelyn a ho.  Oh no…Evelyn sets her straight…she called Evelyn LOOSE!  Call me crazy, but I think “loose” sounds better than “ho.”  Apparently, “loose” is way worse in Evelyn’s mind.  Evelyn wants her to know that at least she’s honest, and Kenya can’t get a word in to defend herself.  The calmer Kenya appears, the angrier Evelyn gets.  Shaunie tries to mediate, but really she just likes stirring the pot.  Evelyn accuses Kenya of morphing into the other ladies (Jenn’s clothes, Tami’s weave).  She takes her earrings out, and it is game on!  Evelyn lunges at Kenya, but Tami is able to hold her back…while she launches a wine bottle at the newbie.  Next up, she hurls a plate at Kenya like a frisbee.  Perhaps, someone else in the cast needs anger management.

Next week, Evelyn threatens to kill Kenya, and Suzie tries to reconcile the relationship between Jenn and Royce.  Kenya potentially gets caught in another lie, and Evelyn cuts Jenn from the guest list of her wedding.  Tami tells her mother some of her issues.