Celebrity Apprentice Recap: And Then There Were Two

I called it — I knew Clay Aiken was not going to be let go from Celebrity Apprentice, simply because the camera tricks were entirely too obvious. Reality television programs love to mess with our minds and this was no exception. Last week, it was clear that Marlee Matlin and John Rich were not fans of Aubrey O’Day, and I had a feeling she would be fired.

Donald Trump fired Aubrey by saying she was “transparent.” Which is true, and Aubrey responded by saying she wasn’t. Aubrey is transparent, and extremely smart, but overplayed her hand by constantly taking credit for everything and talking shit about her colleagues. The only person Aubrey didn’t insult on camera was Lisa Lampanelli (too scared she would end up in Lisa’s act?); even her so-called friend Teresa Giudice was given the talking head snark treatment.

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Anyway, Arsenio Hall and Clay are the two celebrities left, which is a position Clay knows rather well, being in the final two. I was obsessed with American Idol when Clay was on the show and it’s kinda funny to be following him again, so many years later. I voted Clay to win then, and I want him to win now.

The task this week is for both celebrities to create and star in variety shows to raise money for their respective charities, the National Inclusion Project for Clay and the Magic Johnson AIDS Foundation for Arsenio. The fired celebrities are brought back to help out, because what else do they have going on? Clay picks Aubrey, Penn Jillette, Dee Snider and Debbie Gibson on his team and Arsenio goes with Paul Teutul Sr., Teresa, Lisa and Adam Carolla. Apparently we were permanently spared more Dayana Mendoza.

Naturally, Clay wants to put on a musical show, which makes sense given his music-heavy team and Penn’s experience as a Las Vegas show regular. Debbie and Clay have some drama, which isn’t surprising since Debbie is like a hurricane of unpleasantness. There’s such a thing as overselling and Debbie does it. Arsenio decided to go for funny (Teresa contributed “fishes” as food. Why not pizza from juicy joe’s pizzeria??) and managed to get a huge coup by sending a televised crew to Magic Johnson’s house to fill a spot for the promo, but the crew messed up the filming. While Arsenio’s instructions were not great, no one on the crew did ANY shots of Magic straight on?

Anyway, we’ll find out next week how much the PSA Magic debacle truly cost Arsenio. Besides the quality of the show and accompanying PSA, it all comes down to the bottom line, and how much Clay and Arsenio are able to raise via ticket sales and donations will play a factor in who wins. To her credit, Lisa actually cut a check to both men’s charities.

So, we’re finally at the end. It’s great that there are two talented, intelligent celebrities who are up at the end, and not drama whores. If Aubrey had made it to the top two, she may have literally combusted. If Lisa had made it, she’d still be crying, and if Penn had made it, his co-workers may have killed him for some of his more condesending remarks. If Teresa had made it to the top two, all her teammates would have had to wear leopard print.

Ultimately, I think the people who deserve to be at the top are there, and it’s really anyone’s guess. But as a gambler, I have to decide, and I’m going to bet on Clay.

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE TITLE OF CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?

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