Basketball Wives Recap: Trouble in Paradise

This season of Basketball Wives has got to be almost over, right?  I mean, I don’t know how much more I can take of these women.  Just a forewarning, this post is more emotional than I tend to be, just because I was beyond disgusted at what I was watching.  I used to really enjoy watching these women.  Where did things go wrong??

Tami Roman is still going off on Kesha Nichols.  Kesha is staying cool, while Tami continues to remind Kesha that she told Royce Reed and Suzie Ketcham she wanted to go off on her.  Kesha walks away and tries to remain calm, as Tami confiscates her pocketbook and refuses to relinquish it until Kesha returns to put her in her place.  Do you kiss your kids with that mouth, Tami?  Tami seems to be mad that Kesha doesn’t know where she comes from, but it’s time to put that excuse to rest.  Tami apparently doesn’t seem to care that Kesha comes from a background where people don’t b!tch slap one another and hold handbags hostage. I want to smack (not really, as I’d be stooping to their level) Shaunie O’Neal, Evelyn Lozada, and Suzie for not intervening.  When Kesha walks away, the other women think that Kesha should have spoken her mind.  Shaunie even laughs that Tami is really going to keep her bag and sunglasses.  Tami, you are a grown woman, and you should be ashamed of your behavior.  Sixth grade bully.


On the way back to the hotel, Evelyn and Tami read Kesha’s text messages…apparently her phone was in her pocketback.  Are you kidding me?  Suzie feels bad for running her mouth to Tami now that she’s seen Tami’s wrath.  This scene is disgusting.  What an invasion of privacy to go through Kesha’s phone!  Evelyn is laughing along with her cohort.  Tami won’t give back the pocketbook until Kesha comes to her and apologizes face-to-face.  Shaunie straddles the fence, sometimes giggling at Tami’s tirade and sometimes urging her to return the bag.  She’s probably trying to write her cookie-cutter-anti-violence-but-has-no-control-over-her-friends-actions-and-they’re-not-bullies statement for Vibe.

Once actually tormenting Kesha and talking about tormenting Kesha gets boring, the women decide to focus their hate on Kenya BellTami pretends to be Kenya so they can get into Kenya’s room where they plan to hide smelly dead fish.  Not only are they making themselves look like juvenile mean girls, they’re probs making Tahiti judge American tourists based  on their horrendous behavior.  Tahiti, on behalf of the red, white, and blue, I sincerely apologize.  The women abort their plan, as housekeeping will have time to find the rotting fish before Kenya checks in the following day.  Fear not though, they’ll be back.  Suzie can’t believe the prank…she hasn’t done anything like this since she was seventeen.  I hope these “ladies” feel like blithering shameful idiots when they watch this episode.

Always the true friend, Suzie goes to check on Kesha and relays that she probably won’t be getting her bag back until she apologizes to Tami.  Kesha refuses, and she just wants to make sure she gets her phone and her passport back in one piece.  Suzie then plays middle man with Tami, stating she wouldn’t be hearing “I’m sorry” from Kesha.  The most hypocritical line of the season–hell, maybe the franchise–comes out of Tami’s mouth when she says, “The thing that I don’t like about Kesha is she’s thirty-some odd years old and she’s still operating like a child.”  Seriously??  Does she hear herself when she speaks?  A part of me feels deeply sorry for Tami because clearly she has no grip on anyone’s feelings or realities but her own.  It’s very scary when people can’t empathize.  You live is a very small, sad world if everything revolves around you, as my grandmother would say.

Suzie leaves Tami’s bungalow to find Kesha going to report her bag as missing.  Well, it is!  Suzie thinks this is the stupidest possible thing that Kesha could do.  Suzie can’t believe that Kesha just won’t apologize.  She must be shocked to see that someone actually stands up to Tami.  Sidebar–I have to agree with a commenter from last week.  I don’t think Kesha’s weak because she refuses to fight with or engage in Tami’s behavior, but I do think Tami believes she’s preying on the weakest of the crew.  Of course, Suzie can’t leave it at that…she has to report back to ringleader Tami to tell her what Kesha plans to do.  Minion much, Suz?  All the women converge upon Kesha’s bungalow as Tami pounds on the door cussing up a storm.

Finally Tami leaves while Shaunie and Evelyn try to calm a sobbing Kesha.  Evelyn reminds Kesha that she did say those things to Suzie, even if the statements have been twisted from here to kingdom come by now.  Shaunie calmly states that they need to come up with a solution to get her bag back from Tami.  Again, are these women for real?  I remember when this show was fun to watch, but this is appalling.  Tami returns with the bag and Shaunie lets her into the bungalow.  Tami is swearing at Kesha, telling her she should be be thankful that Tami was kind enough to get her bag after she walked away from it.  Tami finally gives back the bag after an impassioned speech about Tami’s civil liberties and making Kesha ask repeatedly for it.  Evelyn and Shaunie (in their interviews, of course, not saying it to Tami) are so upset to see Kesha look so sad.  Evelyn is moved to tears.  Please.  Both women express to Kesha that they want her to stay in Tahiti.  I just hope that Kesha remembers not to open her mouth around Suzie anymore.

Shaunie and Evelyn meet Tami and Suzie at the pool, and they relay how pathetic Kesha seems, as well as how hurt she was by the “Lisa, not Kesha” comment Tami made to her.  Tami is not going to apologize for questioning her race because she knows she didn’t have bad intentions when doing so…um, okay.  I spoke way too soon earlier.  Tami has an even bigger  statement that could glaringly be applied to her behavior.  “Boo boo, you have a problem, and you probably should work on it, because you can’t take everything so personal.”  Pot, have you met my friend kettle?  Evelyn tries to calm Tami, but she’s not budging.  Shaunie reminds Tami that if she wants Evelyn to reconcile with Jennifer Williams, she should be an example by being civil with Tami.  Shockingly that it falls on deaf ears!

On the way to swim with the dolphins, Evelyn gets emotional again talking to Shaunie and Suzie about the Kesha situation.  While a crying Evelyn isn’t ready to place the blame on Tami, she feels horribly that someone she likes was so berated.  Suzie agrees, because that’s what she does.  “The day must go on” according to the always empathetic Shaunie.  The women have a blast swimming with the dolphin and rewarding the creature with dead fish.  A light bulb turns on over Evelyn’s head…does the trainer have any extra dead fish to spare?  Certainly!  The trio heads to Kenya’s room to place the fish (and mangled squid–score!).  The three of them are like kids in a candy store as they hide the nastiness in the bungalow.  Suzie cites it as a funny joke…Shaunie, true to form, just watches as Evelyn and Suzie plant the fish on the AC vent, under the bed, and on the ceiling fan.  We get it, Shaunie…because you don’t participate, it makes you a non-culprit.  Sure, we’ll go with that.

I must apologize, dear readers, as from minutes 48 to 53 of the show, my satellite went wonky due to bad storms.  No amount of rewinding or slow motion would recover this portion of the show.  I do know the scene ends with Tami sitting on a pool lounge chair and Evelyn telling whoever is present to have fun at dinner.  Mad props to anyone who wants to recap this portion in the comment section.  I have no clue what happened.  Again, I’m sorry that I missed it!

Shaunie, Evelyn, and Tami head out on a sunset cruise, and they are surprised to see Suzie isn’t joining them.  She admits that she wants to wait for Jenn to arrive to have dinner, to which Evelyn tells her to have fun…perhaps I missed a “coming up next” during the thunderstorm?  Tami totally understands why Suzie feels the need to wait for Jenn, and she touts Jenn for being brave enough to face Evelyn.  Jenn and Kenya get to the resort, and Kenya shares that Jenn isn’t quite comfortable being there.  A storm is brewing…literally, but mother nature has nothing on the wrath of Evelyn!

Next week, Suzie continues to stir the pot, but this time it’s with different players.  She’s relaying messages from Jenn to Evelyn, but something tells me the tone and translation is way off base from what was intended.  Per the usual for Suzie!  Evelyn approaches Jenn to have “a discussion.” We all know what that means!