Basketball Wives Recap: Wedded Diss

Meet up, talk about whatever happened in the last scene, lather, rinse, repeat.  Basketball Wives: LA is so predictable these days!  At least last night we had Jackie Christie's wedding and Laura Govan's weird fashion choices to keep us entertained!

Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are meeting up to discuss…well, Jackie.  It seems that she is the only topic anyone speaks about on this season!  Draya reveals that she will never be on board with a Jackie friendship and she is certainly not going to her eighty-eighth wedding.  Draya doesn't see Jackie's vow renewal at a gay club as a tribute to homosexuals.  She sees it as a slap in the face as the gay community is forced to watch a straight couple get married knowing that gay couples don't have the same rights.  Malaysia hadn't thought about it in those terms, and honestly, neither had I!  Brooke Bailey arrives dressed to the nines, and Malaysia tells the other women she really doesn't want to go to the wedding, and she feels like Jackie used her to get back into the group and then just dumped her.  She plans to pull Jackie aside at the rehearsal (they've done this forty-seven times…do they really need a practice round?) to share her feelings.  That should go over well!


Jackie and Doug are meeting with the officiant, and Jackie is nervous that he won't go along with performing a ceremony that is a tribute to the gay community.  After some dramatic pausing and music, he says he is in agreement with the couples' thoughts on gay marriage, and he is happy to officiate.  The pair is writing their own vows, and Jackie has about fifteen pieces of paper in front of her.  Gracious, her vows are going to take up half the episode!  Jackie is excited that her girls are going to be attending the wedding, and she's telling Doug that she plans to have extra security to keep Draya from crashing.  I don't think that will be necessary!

Jackie's daughter Chantal is helping her mother decorate the venue with her and Doug's NOH8 photo campaign.  Chantal admits that she is shocked she actually made it…she seems to have the same wariness of her mother as the ladies do.  The girls arrive for the rehearsal, and Malaysia takes Jackie aside to explain why her feelings are hurt.  Jackie tears up telling Malaysia how much she adores her.  Blah, blah, blah, Malaysia has heard all of this before.  She's proceeding with caution.  Malaysia and Bambi check into their hotel to get ready for the wedding.  Laura is still a no-show, and Bambi isn't sure she can be friends with someone who doesn't follow through with her commitments.  In the middle of their conversation, Laura arrives looking like death warmed over.  Malaysia takes the opportunity to introduce Bambi's grievances with Laura.  Laura admits she has jokes, but Bambi still thinks that Laura talks too much behind people's backs.  Laura lays out that she doesn't care what Bambi thinks of her, she just hopes the ladies can be honest with each other going forward.  There seems to be some sort of truce formed, although I'm not holding my breath it will last.

Laura admits that she purposely let people wonder if she'd be attending.  The ladies are walking the red carpet, and Jackie is wearing a giant white wedding dress while Doug is sporting a tuxedo vest with jeans type situation.  Laura is dressed in drag with some sparkly leotard and studded stilettos.  Jackie is floored to see Laura there, but I think she is more shocked to see what Laura is wearing!  WTH am I watching?  During the ceremony, Brooke feels the tension between her and Bambi, but she realizes this isn't the time of place to address.  Famous last words?  The couple renews their vows and jumps the broom.  After the ceremony, Jackie surprises Doug by hiking up her dress and showing him the giant pride tattoo she got a few episodes ago on her hip.  So, wait…I'm supposed to believe that Doug hasn't seen his wife in any state of undress for the last week or so leading up to their wedding?  Jackie explains that  she and Doug were not intimate for thirty days prior to their vow renewal.  TMI.

Laura thinks it's inappropriate for go-go dancers to grind on her back, but I think they are probably mistaking her for Ru PaulJackie has an outfit change, and now she's wearing a hand painted gay pride t-shirt, sequined hot pants and knee high space boots.  This is hands down the best episode for bad fashion.  Jackie pining away about how much she loves that her girls are there to support her when someone claims to spot Draya.  Jackie's face is priceless!  Laura is totally joking, and all of the women have a big laugh. 

The following day Brooke, Draya, and Laura meet up to recap the wedding festivities.  Brooke invites the ladies to her birthday pool party, and Draya immediately wants to know if Jackie is invited.  Brooke plans to invite Jackie with the warning that Draya will be in attendance so she needs to be on her best behavior.  When Draya hears this she starts whining that she's not going to attend unless Brooke doesn't invite Jackie.  Grow up, please.  Meanwhile, Malaysia and Bambi are meeting Jackie for manis and pedis.  Bambi is all about kissing up to Jackie, and she asks Jackie her thoughts on Laura's outfit antics.  Brooke's name is brought up (by Jackie, of course), and while Bambi rolls her eyes, Malaysia states that she likes Brooke.  She then quickly changes the subject to Jackie's tat.  Jackie reveals that Draya was the only one who knew about the secret tat, and Bambi and Malaysia assure Jackie that she kept her word. 

Brooke and Jackie are–what else?–meeting up to chat.  The pair discuss Brooke's friendship with Draya, and Brooke gives her some very sound and grounded advice regarding Jackie's relationship (or lack thereof) with Draya.  Brooke also gives Jackie some insight into her past with Bambi.  Brooke decides she really wants Jackie at her birthday party and extends the invitation.  Not surprisingly, Jackie wants to know if Draya is going.  Jackie promises she can be cool, but Brooke makes a funny comment about how she would have to side with Draya.  While Jackie is laughing, she now sees Brooke as a potential enemy.  Gracious!  Across town, Bambi and Malaysia are shoe shopping when Brooke calls to invite Malaysia to her party.  Malaysia is acting childish putting Brooke on speakerphone and asking if she can bring a guest and questioning if Brooke's ex-boyfriend will be there.  She does scold Bambi for being so petty in her fight with Brooke once she hangs up the phone. 

Laura has a surprise excursion for Malaysia–it's hang gliding!  Draya is there, as is Bambi, who doesn't completely trust Laura.  This looks totally fun!  Bambi kind of crashes, but she's having a blast.  Malaysia totally busts before becoming airborne.  At least she's trying.  The girls go to get margaritas after hang gliding.  They encourage Draya to let the Jackie thing roll off her back. 

Gloria Govan is back in town, and she and Laura arrive at Brooke's party, followed by Jackie.  Jackie promises she won't bring any drama, so of course, as soon as Draya arrives, Jackie calculatingly changes from her heels to sneakers…totally a move that would benefit her if she wants to fight.  Draya is trying her best to keep her cool. 

Nest week, Laura and Bambi have a confrontation, and Jackie goes off on Brooke, and there is a potential smack down. 


[Photo Credit VH1]