Basketball Wives Recap: Suzie Dissed And Dismissed

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I know what you were expecting from last night's Basketball Wives.  You were expecting the norm.  A refined and intelligent Suzie Ketcham lunching with a calm and centered Tami Roman, right?  Shaunie O' Neal and her pin-hole sized nostrils supporting friends as Evelyn Lozada empowered women and Tasha Marbury explored genius and well-thought out business plans…sure, we'll go with that.   

We begin with Evelyn and Tami are dishing on all things Tasha and Big Diva. Tami understands what Tasha is trying to do, but she thinks she should perhaps be better advised in her business ventures.  Evelyn jokes about kicking Big Diva in the throat, but at least she didn't say anything about head-butting.  Thankfully, Tami's eyes are free from asbestos poisoning, and she reveals to Evelyn that Tasha tried to come for her when she regretted to the party. Oh, is that what happened?  Evelyn admits that she, Shaunie, and Suzie left long before Tasha arrived.

Shaunie is throwing her son Shareef a thirteenth birthday party that she has dubbed the Bro Mitzvah.  He wants over a hundred and fifty guests, video vixens on each arm, big name rappers performing, and a fiery entrance. Shaunie is going to do her best.  Whatever happened to a sheet cake and a roller skating rink?  And we wonder why kids today are so entitled.  Sorry, I think I morphed into my grandmother for a second there.


The mean girls are back in business, and they are meeting Tasha for cocktails so she can have a "conference" with them about their recent behavior.  Suzie is a bit terrified by Tasha's giant attitude, and Shaunie explains that she was on time and stayed for two hours.  Evelyn inquires as to whether Tasha got their gift, and Shaunie is offended that they don't get a thank you for their giant bag o' sex toys. Tasha dismisses Suzie for being a followers. Shaunie and Tasha gave an eye-rolling stand off about how late Tasha actually was, and Evelyn cites the three hundred dollars that they spent on a bedazzled penis and accessories.  Tasha prefers a warm body, and she quickly asks if Tami forgot to get her a gift.  Mee and yow.

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Tami wonders why its tacky to leave a party early but not tacky to request a present, and Tasha reminds Tami that she will be celebrating her birthday all month.  Let's move on to a less volatile topic, shall we?  It's time to diss-cuss the weave bar opening.  Tami tries to explain her behavior, and she shares that Tasha's salty disposition upset her.  Well, look at Tami's use of "I" language and expressing her feelings!  Shaunie is still fired up about being called "angry birds" in a blog.

Of course, Shaunie and Evelyn need to recap Tasha's verbal smack down.  Evelyn jokes that it was more of a funeral vibe than a party, and she spent good money getting her hair and make-up done for the event.  Both women feel badly for how Suzie was treated by Tasha.  Oh please.  Evelyn thinks that Suzie needs to grow a back bone.  She'll let anyone talk to her horribly…and Evelyn should know as she used to do it the most!

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It's time for another session with Tami's life coach, and Tami is proud of herself for learning her triggers.  She didn't choke Evelyn for putting a hand in her face, which is real progress! Meanwhile, Shaunie's stylist is over to fit her son for his birthday tux.  He's also picked out some swag-alicious additional outfits.  Why the hell does a thirteen year old boy need a stylist? On the heels of her recent weight loss, Tami is excited to do a photo shoot for a the supplement.  It's the first time she's posed in a bathing suit in ages, and Tami is quite pleased with the the outcome. The red carpet has been rolled out for the Bro Mitzvah, and as much as I hate to admit it, Shareef is adorable.  He must take after his father. The following day, Suzie seeks the advice of Tami to learn how to better stand up for herself.  Suzie is more deer in headlights than confrontational, and Tami is surprisingly giving some decent advice. She needs to channel her inner-Tami so as not to be such a pushover.

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Evelyn is meeting with her friend, who she casually happens to mention is Bow Wow's mom, to work on her new clothing line with the son of the guy who started Jordache.  Name drop much, Evelyn? Her line is very casual, and Evelyn is convinced it's going to be a hit.  Glad to see she hasn't lost that ego.

Suzie has decided to confront Tasha about how she was treated at the after the birthday apology summit.  She goes in hard, and Tasha takes in what Suzie has to say and attempts a lame apology.  However, when Suzie doesn't back down, the women get into a bleeping war of f-bombs and sticking dildos where the sun doesn't shine. I am going to have nightmares about Suzie's sweater. Tasha then kicks Suzie out of her hotel room, but then ends up chasing her down the hall.  I have never seen so many women throwing hands into people's faces.

Next week, Suzie fills in Tami on her stand off with Tasha, and the women plan a trip to London Fashion Week.


[Photo Credit: VH1]