Teen Mom 3 Recap: Relationship Woes


This week on Teen Mom 3, Alex Sekella receives unsettling news about Matt McCann, Mackenzie Douthit feels ignored, Briana DeJesus and Devoin Austin face off in court, and Katie Yeager talks to Joey Maes about moving.

Katie and Joey are getting along better since he quit smoking pot. So, Katie plans her next relationship hurdle, which is proposing a move to Utah for college. She's currently enrolled in community college but needs to transfer to a four year school (and they apparently only breed them in Utah) to get a degree in social work. Katie doesn't think she can survive without Joey making her cry for two years so she needs to convince him to move with her. 

Meanwhile Alex points out that she's juggling school, work, and Arabella now that Matt's out of the picture. Because she had oodles of help those TWO WEEKS he was in the picture. Alex wants Matt restricted to court supervised visits only.  "I don't want him and his substances in her life or around Arabella," she says. "I don't know where he is or what he's doing. If he's homeless, then he's homeless. That's his choice, his conscious decision to do that." 


News flash: Briana has left her couch. I repeat: Briana has left her couch. 

Briana and Nova – with Brittany's help of course – are off to a baby music class.  Stimulating your child's brain?  What a concept!  Bri and Brit break a sweat putting Nova in the car. Seriously. Briana walks into music class all like, The Queen has arrived. Please bow down to my off-the-couch awesomeness.

Nova is thrilled to be out of the house. She's soooo precious. Too bad she's being raised by American Horror Story: CovenBriana, on the other hand, is wiped out. "That was really exhausting," she says. "That wore me out." Back to the couch she goes.

Now that school is out for the summer,  Mackenzie cares for Gannon while Josh McKee works plays cowboy. Mackenzie has a serious case of the sads because she thinks Josh loves the rodeo more than her and Gannon. There's no mention of the fact that they have no money.  #TeenagerProblems

Joey tells Katie that he's received a job offer in Utah, however, he has zero intentions of entertaining the idea of moving. Joey's argument is valid. To move out of state and start over for the same pay and the same benefits is risky. Katie acknowledges the risks but asks Joey for his support regardless. "Your college doesn't pay for Molli," he says. "My job does." 

Alex gets a tattoo – with baby in tow – of Arabella's name, footprints, and birth date.  Meanwhile, Matt learns he's been approved for the housing program, pending a clean drug test. Caseworker tells Matt that he can stay for two years (rent free) if he's sober, adding, "If you're homeless or you're using, you're no good to your daughter."  He agrees to check in the next morning.

mackenzie douthit

Mackenzie goes to talk to Josh – who isn't home – about his indifference towards her since returning to the rodeo. After an hour wait, Josh shows up, mumbles hey, and walks right past Mack. Their time together is painful to watch. Mackenzie oozes desperation. Josh lacks brain function. Later that night, Mackenzie goes to Josh's rodeo, where he falls on his head. Again. No money for Josh. Again. Josh continues to blow off Mackenzie. She goes home.

Next Alex visits her grandparents. They're just so-so about Alex's new tattoo. Gramps wants to know why the tattoo artist inked his digits on her back (it's Arabella's birthday) and points out that she won't ever work as a professional dancer now (she wants to teach only so no biggie). When their convo turns to Matt, Alex admits she's lost all hope where he's concerned.

Katie talks to her mom about school. About Joey, she says, "He knows that he has complete control over me when he works and I don't." This is true – and I'm proud of Katie for realizing it. Mom implores Katie to pursue her degree. 

Briana and Devoin go to court. Devoin denies tweeting hateful things to/about Briana under the Twitter handle @PapiChuloo. The judge declares Briana's evidence insufficient and dismisses the case. I do not condone Devoin's asshattery, but I'm glad Briana lost. The only thing in danger, here, is her ego. 

Alex reaches out to Matt by texting him a picture of Arabella. Her text goes unanswered. Elsewhere Matt is five hours late for the intake appointment with his caseworker. His excuse includes being hospitalized for an incommunicable disease. And he needs to go back to the hospital for more treatment. So he's out on day pass? 

Caseworker reminds Matt of the opportunity waiting for him. He insists he can't go. There's a curfew – and he has to help his mom move. Is that before or after he goes back to the hospital? He's also mad about having to show up for three meals a day – the three free meals that come with the free two years of shelter. Pisser. Matt becomes defensive, insists he hasn't relapsed, and walks out. 

Mackenzie feels confused – often I'm sure – Josh loves me.. cheer! Josh loves me not.. squirrel! Josh loves me.. tumbling! Josh loves me not.. squirrel!  Being Mackenzie isn't easy. She's exhausted from all that thinking. And sometimes mothering. But mostly worrying about whether or not Josh loves her as much as eating dirt. Mackenzie comes to the conclusion that boys mature slower than girls. She think she's mature? Oh my. Poor Gannon.

Next Mackenzie talks to a counselor about her relationship woes. "I don't want to try so hard and get nothing in return," she bemoans. "If Josh isn't willing [to show affection and say words that don't begin with 'r' and end with 'odeo'], why walk down the aisle? I'm trying. I'd like to see him trying too." Counselor urges Mackenzie to trust Josh. 

katie yeager

Katie makes another attempt to sell Joey on the idea of moving to Utah. Joey says: Katie will be too lonely without friends and family. Joey means: Katie will become even more clingy, needy, and whiny without friends and family. Joey's subconscious screams: Hell to the no! Joey behaves: like an ass. 

Katie has goals and ambitions, which is more than I can say about most of the Teen Moms on MTV, but her current location is holding her back. Rather than encourage, Joey says, "Good thing you have a boyfriend who doesn't care about paying the bills." Katie stands firm, telling her fiance that she plans to get her degree no matter what, and Joey informs her that he'll never move to Utah. 

Next Briana and Mom pout outside the courthouse. They're not happy with the court's ruling. Briana whines about getting off the couch for nothing her Twitter screen shots not being reason enough – "courts want to see bruises, blood, guts" – to be granted an order of protection. Briana admits she only wants the injunction so she doesn't have to deal with Devoin. Now she has to deal with the father of her child. THE HARD WAY. Boo. Freaking. Hoo. 

Mackenzie maturely lays lifeless on a chair because Josh isn't returning her calls. She tells her parents that she feels worthless, adding, "Me and Gannon are the last things Josh cares about." Mom understands that Mack feels like a single mom while Josh chases his rodeo dream but doesn't want her to dwell on it. "You and Gannon will have a great life," says Mom. "With or without Josh."

Finally a friend calls Alex to tell her that Matt's being rushed to the hospital for a possible (read: extremely likely) overdose. Alex – with Arabella in tow – heads to the hospital. Meanwhile Katie, Briana, and Mackenzie continue to wallow in their self-pity. Good times, MTV. Keep up the good work. 


Photo credit: MTV