MTV Teen Mom

This week's season finale of Teen Mom 3 features Mackenzie Douthit and Josh McKee, Briana DeJesus and Devoin Austin, and Katie Yeager and Joey Maes celebrating Gannon, Nova, and Molli's first birthdays. And Alex Sekella and Arabella go to Bermuda for a family vacation.

To kick things off, Mackenzie buys a pair of chaps for Gannon. Ha! Why not? Dressing the baby like an adult cowboy makes perfect sense when Mackenzie doesn't have a job, Josh doesn't have a job, and Gannon, despite winning the family IQ race, is too young to have a job. 

An excited Mackenzie calls Josh to gush about her superfluous purchase. He accepts the call – listens – but rushes off the phone without ever expressing a single emotion. Phone calls are hard, y'all. Mackenzie's friend points out that Josh is barely alive, adding, "He needs to get a pulse in touch with his feelings." Mackenzie says she totally heard excitement in Josh's voice.

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Season one of Teen Mom 3 is coming to an end. Slowwwly. Just before next week's finale, we see Alex Sekella celebrate Arabella's first birthday without Matt McCann, Katie Yeager struggle with being single, Briana DeJesus date behind Roxane's back, and Mackenzie Douthit and Josh McKee play nice with Mackenzie's family. 

Arabella's first birthday is just a few days away.  Alex decides she'd rather Matt not come to the party – because he'll sulk when he has to share Arabella with others – but she welcomes him to one-on-one time with her on her actual birth day. Sadly, as of right now, Matt has not returned any of Alex's calls. His loss! Alex puts her baby daddy drama on the back burner to deal with her own daddy. She invites him to Arabella's party despite tension since she became a teen mom. He says yes. 

Katie obsesses over Joey Maes. She complains non-stop to poor Molli and whomever else is willing to listen.  Also?  Katie fails to see that she's equally responsible for their breakup. Perpetual victim, this one. Everything is Joey's fault. She'll never be able to forgive him. Blah. Blah. Unless he wants her back, then maybe… probably… definitely. This girl needs a serious reality check and an ounce of self esteem. STAT. 

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Briana DeJesus and Katie Yeager bring the drama and tears to Teen Mom 3 this week. First, a boy calls Briana's phone, and Roxanne and Brittany aren't having it. At. All. Then, Joey Maes reveals he's already hooking up with a new girl, and Katie sobs for days. 

On a much happier note, Alex Sekella enjoys a girls night out with friends, and Mackenzie Douthit cartwheels her way back into Josh McKee's heart. 

Briana talks to Jacob, the boy, behind her mom's back. Cue the scene where Mom reminds Briana – not so gently – that she has baby baggage.  So, the eyebrows have spoken, Briana is nothing more than a girl with a baby. Proceed directly to the coven. Don't call Jacob. Don't collect $200.

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This week's episode of Teen Mom 3 is fairly boring and uneventful. But, when we're talking about disturbingly unhealthy relationships, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Briana DeJesus celebrates her birthday, while Alex Sekella goes on a date. And Mackenzie Douthit and Katie Yeager struggle with being on a break from Josh McKee and Joey Maes.

It's Briana's 18th birthday. Mom agrees to watch Nova overnight so Bri can hang with her friends at a hotel. Briana, in all her socially awkward glory, plans to go clubbing behind mom's back. Mom and Brittany talk about Bri's big night out ad nauseam. Brittany thinks Briana is too irresponsible to be out all night on her own, yet she gifts her with $50 to have fun. Plus she put money aside for Nova's diapers for the week. Best nanny ever!

Matt McCann calls Alex to report that his stint in rehab is coming to an end. He's doing really well, and when given the choice to either come home or go to a halfway house, he chose halfway house. He worries he'll fall right back in with the same crowd if he comes home too soon, however, he plans to use a day pass to visit Arabella on her birthday. Alex happily supports Matt's decisions. 

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This week on Teen Mom 3,  Briana DeJesus visits the GYN for birth control, and Alex Sekella screams at her family.  Also, Katie Yeager endures the birthday trip from hell,  and Mackenzie Douthit discovers that Josh McKee has been lying to her about rodeo practice. 

Briana kicks off this week's episode, and she's very happy to report that her sister/nanny is over last week's "spread my wings and fly far away" attitude. Also, Briana took about three minutes of college classes, so she takes a much needed break. When a boy calls Brittany on her phone, Briana lectures her on birth control and pouts about her little mistake, also known as Nova Star. 

Next Alex studies while Arabella sits unassisted on the very edge of a table. Are they training her for the circus? Seriously. Since Arabella nailed the death defying high table sitting act, Alex tries a chair. Without a net. This poor baby tumbles off the chair and falls face first onto the hardwood floor. Alex complains because she can't take her eyes off of Arabella for even a second. 

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