Keeping Up with the Kardashians

 On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians we saw an emotional Khloe Kardashian reach her breaking point. From admitting to Lamar Odom’s affairs, packing up her home and facing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen jewelery, Khloe cracked under the pressure and gave in to some old vices.

Things kick off with Kourtney Kardashian and her half paralyzed face. Kourtney is distressed by her latest disaster with the dentist. Khloe however, is too busy snapping pics on her phone and threatening to use them at a later date. #Blackmail  (see the video below)


Khloe announces she is in the final stages of packing up her home and discussing it makes her emotional. Kourtney’s lopsided pout however, is keeping her in higher spirits. Kourtney ponders if Khloe will now revert back to being a ho on the streets now she is single, sexy and free. Khloe retorts that she never stopped being a ho! Which is great news because apparently her husband didn’t give up his ho title during their marriage either! #Shade

Kim Kardashian arrives for dinner and Khloe decides to throw so much shade she needs her sunglasses to block the glare. Khloe asks Kim if North knows who her parents are?! Kim believes North knows who her Daddy is. Kourtney busts out an expressive monologue proclaiming; ‘I am North West – the shiniest star in the sky!’ And that my friends, has to be the most expressive and least monotone-y I’ve ever witnessed Kourtney in all of KUWTK. Maybe she was just super pumped she got feeling back in her face?

Over in Malibu, Brody Jenner and Bruce Jenner are bonding. I don’t care if they are bonding or bickering I love me some Brody Jenner! Thankyou Ryan Seacrest for throwing me a bone to get through this episode! #BlessYourHeart

Bruce asks Brody to join him in a father-son golfing tournament. Brody is hesitant, and cites his knee problems from prohibiting him from participating and taking care of his dog Radar really fills his days. Bruce isn’t buying what Brody is selling, and instead feels like some practice sessions will remedy the issue. I’m sorry, but during this entire scene I just wished I could trade places with Brody’s dog and have a Freaky Friday moment so he could snuggle me that way!!!

Kourt and Khloe are in New York. Apparently it’s not just Kourtney’s kids that need potty training, little miss monotone nearly woke up relieving herself on the plane ride over to NY. Klassy with a K. After talking about dream peeing, the girls get down to business. The ladies are concerned with their SoHo store and its environment. The trip to New York brings up some painful memories for Khloe about her marriage to Lamar. Apparently LamLam was on the lam the last time the couple went to New York and Khloe couldn’t find him anywhere. I’d probably want to disappear if I married into that family.

The trio meet up to scout real estate locations for DASH. None of the places meet the girls expectations. To make matters worse, Khloe gets a call from Lamar. Khloe is emotional and concerned about Lamar. Khloe talks to Kourtney and reveals she is frustrated at the interviews Lamar is giving. He had been saying; Khloe will always be his wife, they talk every day and they are working through things. Khloe finds his interviews to be hurtful because they lift her hopes up but then she actually doesn’t hear from him for months.

Khloe is beyond frustrated that Lamar is sporting his wedding ring again. Khloe rants that it means nothing, if he could wear it when he was f*cking someone else so it means nothing right now. Khloe is frustrated she spent so much of her marriage lying, concealing and covering up for Lamar and his mistakes. The more Khloe talks the more turned up she becomes, she starts to scream about her last birthday and how she lied and covered up for Lamar when he was cheating on her with another woman and she spent her birthday alone. I don’t know if she is more mad he cheated on her birthday or that she had to give up her Beyonce tickets to Kendall to keep up the charade. I feel terrible for Khloe because underneath it all, I truly think she loved Lamar and thought she could save him and their marriage. Sidenote – all of the Lamar revelations just make Scott look more and more like a saint!

Back at Malibu, Bruce is venting to Brandon about Brody. Bruce is feeling let down that Brody doesn’t answer his calls. I’m sorry, has Bruce seen Brody’s latest squeeze? She is S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G !!! No wonder he isn’t answering – he is busy y’all! Brandon tries to reason to Papa Jenner and explains it has ALWAYS been impossible to get a hold of Brody. Brandon encourages Bruce to appreciate that Brody is not one to be attached to his phone. With a gang of selfie obsessed step-sisters whose iPhones have permanently molded to their hands, I can see what Brandon is saying! Bruce however, does not. Boy is Bruce pissed!

Khloe is throwing a welcome back party for Kendall at Casa de Kris. Basically there was a jumping castle, a selfie station and a metric tonne of booze. Scott is concerned about Khloe’s drinking and partying. When Scott is concerned I think things must be serious. Khloe is angry that Kris is always supportive and understanding of Lamar and his battles. Kris suggests that Lamar keeps giving false information in his interviews because he probably wants things to return to how they once were. Khloe lashes out at Kris and tells her Lamar is available if she wants to f*ck him and date him. Holy moly this girl is hostile.

Kendall, Brandon and Brody are go-cart racing. They discuss Bruce’s intense nature. Brody feels smothered by the amount of times he has been texting over the tournament. Kendall and Brandon admit that’s pretty standard behavior for Bruce (he probably caught it from Kris after 25 years of marriage!) Brandon and Kendall admit they both make the effort to take the time out of their days to spend time with Papa Bruce because it brings him so much joy. Sidebar – Brandon’s impression of Bruce made this entire episode worth watching.

Kim is rummaging through her wardrobe while Kris and Kourtney pretend to care. Khloe arrives, and after some strange behavior, she admits she’s intoxicated. #AskedAndAnswered Kim is disappointing she is wearing sweats while everyone looks beautiful and glamorous. Yes Kim, pouting about clothes while your newly separated sister is intoxicated and acting bizarrely in the middle of the day is completely normal. #Priorities

Bruce arrives at Khloe’s to basically give her a one on one intervention about her newly found partying behavior and drinking. Khloe expresses that she has been busy packing up her house and her life while also losing a house and a husband. She alludes that she has a personality that prefers to be out and about and laughing opposed to home alone and crying. Bruce offers Khloe a change of scenery and encourages her to move in with him. Khloe doesn’t seem taken with the Malibu zip code, but Bruce feels a change is exactly what the doctor ordered to curb her newly found wild ways.

Bruce and Brody arrive and apparently they decided to dress as the Bobbsey twins. I can’t be sure but I think Hank Baskett just made an appearance? Apparently this is the episode about cheating athletes, will KUWTK merge with Basketball Wives? Tami Roman Vs Kris Jenner… this could be TV gold! I digress, the golf tournament is a success! The duo enjoy a day of bonding and Brody admits he actually loves spending time with Bruce when it’s carefree and he’s not being bombarded with text messages.

Back at Khloe’s, the family’s packing up the last of Khloe’s things. Kim finally has an epiphany and realizes what her younger sister is going through is actually very sad an emotional. This is a monumental breakthrough for the amazingly self-absorbed Kim. Khloe discovers that a majority of Lamar’s watches have been stolen. Khloe is beating herself up for not protecting Lamar’s stuff. She berates herself and repeatedly says she failed in yet another area of her marriage. Either Khloe is a phenomenal actress or this marriage has given her a set of demons as dark as Lamar’s. Everyone tries to calm her down but she is pushed to her limit with the theft and cracks under the pressure completely. Kris calls the police to file a report, the police arrive to take finger prints and inspect the scene. Khloe feels violated that someone she knew and invited in to her home could betray and violate her trust and friendship.

The episode ends with Kris in tears and Khloe admitting the house held some phenomenal memories in the beginning of their marriage but now she has a bunch a new horrible ones that she hopes to leave behind forever. Khloe ends the episode admitting she feels like sh*t and she feels like it was obviously the way it was supposed to end #PoorKhloe 🙁

On next weeks episode the Kardashian Klan invade Thailand (our condolences Thailand) to get up to a whole new bunch of orchestrated and scripted shenanigans! Pre-warning: next week’s episode involves Kim creating a ‘selfie’ book for Kanye. I just threw up in my mouth.


Recap Author: Gina P.

Photo Credit: Brian Bowen Smith/E!