The Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap – I’m Having A Party And You’re Not Invited

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Shopping sprees abound on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne!!! Janet Roach and Chyka Keebaugh head out to pick up a few cocktail dresses and cha-ching! Their personal stylists have it the jackpot. As they add dress after dress, each one about $2K each, I’m getting majorly jealous – I don’t even wear anything that needs to be dry cleaned these days, let alone a magenta pink Swarovski dress. Meanwhile, Gina Liano meets up with Melbourne’s version of Patti Stanger and is looking for a new man in her life.  Gina does meet the criteria of a millionairess so we’ll see how that goes later on.

Ugh, I’m starting loathe the Lydia scenes.  We’re now in Lydia Schiavello’s kitchen as she is strangely oohing and ahhing over her maid, Joanna’s peeling technique of vegetables.  Lydia actually has the audacity to say that since she’s had hired help for the past 20 years, she’s forgot how to clean. Say what??!! Just stop Lydia. Lydia found Joanna on the street in front of her house a few years ago and now they are best buds. Joanna also picks out Lydia clothes because Lydia has no idea where anything is.  Huh? I don’t think Joanna is her best friend in the sense you and I have best friends. I think Joanna is her best hired helper. That seems more up Lydia’s alley. 

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Across town, Jackie Gillies and Ben have hired Chyka to consult on La Mascara’s logo.  To Chyka’s surprise, it turned out pretty nice. The colors are catchy and it looks like it could be a fun cocktail drink given the packaging.  However, there is just soooo much more work that needs to get done, like the dang cocktail! Let’s hope everything is finished in time for the launch party in a few weeks.  
 
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Days later, a brave Chyka organizes a small shopping get-together with herself, Andrea,  Lydia and Gina. This could be bad. Nothing is worse than forced reconciliations. They all pile in a limo and it’s crickets.  West Elm has made it’s way overseas and Chyka has the shop open exclusively to the ladies before the public gets to see it.  The high school shenanigans begin. Gina invites Lydia And Chyka to a cancer fundraiser and tells them she doesn’t really want to invite Andrea. The last time Gina brought up her cancer, Andrea was a total beeottcch and understandably Gina doesn’t want that energy there.  Lydia scolds Gina and tells her to get over it (pot calling the kettle black IMO) and then 2 seconds later runs over to Andrea and tells her what happened. In a very mature response, Andrea Moss then invites everyone but Gina for a spa day at Liberty Belle. Oh dear god. Funny how Lydia doesn’t tell Andrea to get over and invite Gina. Andrea – grow up! Both Gina and Andrea should invite each other and leave it at that. 
 
Flash to Gina at home booking a date with Daryl from her new dating venture.  Can’t wait to see this! Segue to Janet and Jackie visiting Ben in the studio. They have zero studio etiquette and Ben boots them out to the other room.  Gina shockingly rings Jackie and invites her to the charity event which Jackie is more than willing to attend. Lydia and Andrea should take a page out of Jackie’s book.
 
 Chyka decides to throw a party for the ladies and their puppies.  This is the true sign of wealth, an over-the-top catered party for your dogs.  Gina was late per usual but everyone did get along-ish. 
 
The La Mascara launch party is just around the corner and Ben and Jackie are checking out the venue. The manager of the venue asks a SIMPLE question of what cocktails will they be serving at the event. Jackie and Ben are deers in headlights. I mean, come on people! The cocktails are the priority! They are the whole damn company. Jackie tells Ben she’s getting overwhelmed with all the outstanding things they still have to do (ya think?!!!). Where is their team for crying out loud? Why aren’t they hiring ANYONE to help? Shit, they hired an event planning team for their housewarming party, where are the marketing, event and PR people for La Mascara? This is odd.  
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On a lighter (or should I say, tanner) note, Gina goes on her blind date with Daryl. He needs some collar stays, but other than that, he looks like a nice guy.  Gina is very likable during this scene. 
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Andrea, Janet, Jackie and Lydia are on their way to the Melbourne Cup carnival. En route to the party, Lydia tells the gang that Gina called her and said Janet called Lydia brainless. Payback is a beotch Janet! Lydia is more upset however, that Gina is now stirring the pot. Hmmm, this is just pure hatred for Gina.  It’s the exact same thing Janet did to Gina but no one called Janet a $hit-stirrer. I’m thinking Gina needs to exit stage right with this crew, like immediately. It’s definitely a move to get back in everyone’s good graces on Gina’s part, but I think she’s at a point of no return. These women have had it with her.
 
Janet is pissed off that Gina ratted her out to Lydia. This is somewhat of a wash now, and Janet is willing to call it even. But as they sit down and have drinks, Gina is not backing down. She is bringing the courtroom to the restaurant and will not apologize for anything. Janet thinks it’s kinda BS that Gina threatened to sue her friends over defamation and Gina is not sorry. No siree. Janet realizes that maybe Gina is too harsh and is trying to save her ass from the crew completely ditching her. Well, Gina doesn’t care and looks like that’s the end of Gina and Janet’s friendship for now. 
 
Stay tuned for next week – Gina’s fundraiser appears to be a doozy!
 
TELL US – ARE JANET AND GINA EVEN NOW?
 
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
 
Photo Credit: Bravo TV