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Season Two of My Five Wives is upon us and in full disclosure, this is my first season of watching this show. The only reference point I have about polygamy is HBO’s fictional Big Love and of course, the national news. So, here we go! A quick recap of Season 1 shows us Brady Williams and his struggles with his five wives (in order from first wife to 5th): Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda.

It’s summer time at the compound (are we aloud to call their homestead that!?). Nonie wants another baby & is emotional over it “taking so long” to conceive. I guess 24 kids are just not cutting it. Brady claims he is fertile, so no worries in that department. Rosemary is glad to have more relaxed time with the kids, while Robyn has dreams of writing a book. Rhonda is nervous about the results of her next mammogram (she had a breast cancer scare last year). Paulie says things are great & is planning her 23rd wedding anniversary with Brady. As the first “empty nester” of the group, she reflects on how much time she has on her hands now. Don’t worry, Paulie! More kids are on the way via a uterus near you.

The 5 wives and Brady sit down to plan a camping trip. A camp site for 30 people is required. Rosemary, Paulie, and Robyn later discuss their 3 daughters (referred to as “the triplets”) who will be leaving for college soon. The wives are concerned that their girls will be leaving for college, which is a much different path than the “stay home forever or face eternal damnation” doctrine that they grew up with. (Backstory: Brady and family broke away from the Fundamental Mormon church years ago.)

Brady is at the jewelry store to make a mea culpa for not buying Robyn a ring last year for their 20th anniversary. Apparently that didn’t go well, as Brady had given a ring to her sister-wife for their anniversary. Side note: didn’t Brady just file for bankruptcy recently, claiming to have like 2 bucks in his checking account and hundreds of thousands in debt? Maybe let’s cool it with the five rings on each of your five freaking anniversaries, mister. Robyn admits the past year has been strained between Brady and her as a result of Ring-Gate. Robyn: I have to practically remind my husband EVERY YEAR that we even have an anniversary, so here’s the world’s smallest violin playing for you right now: tralalalala.

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Rhonda is over at Nonie’s house (wing?) to nose around about why Nonie isn’t pregnant yet. They discuss the challenges of conceiving a child during their respective windows of fertility when they each only have sex with Brady every 5th night. Eww. Rhonda suggests getting a fertility kit, but Nonie is humiliated to get medical help. Rhonda also suggests switching nights with Brady to help a sista out.

It’s Rosemary’s night with Brady! They discuss their daughters’ impending college days and Brady admits he’s scared of the college boys showing his daughters too much attention. I wonder what each of his 5 wives’ fathers were scared of back in the day…and if those fears are now being aired on TLC weekly. Hmmmm. Meanwhile, the “triplets” are on a college visit looking for an apartment where they can live together and fend off college boys. The university housing has tight rules about alcohol and boys in general, but coffee is okey dokey. The girls feel ready to move out, but are unsure about their final choice. They discuss how much different their lives are from their moms at that age. And oooh! Madeline, Paulie and Brady’s now-married daughter, asks the group the BIG question: “Do you think you could share your husband?” She claims there’s no way she would ever share her husband and she finds it strange that her own father started dating Robyn only 6 months after marrying her mom. Just…wow. The girls all seem on the road to monogamy despite their upbringing. Interesting.

Nonie and Brady are in their bedroom discussing…what else? Fertility! It seems like Brady is confused about how and when babies are made, which is the total and complete definition of irony.

Robyn’s daughter is doing Robyn’s hair for her big date with Brady tonight. Apparently a big surprise is in store. Robyn reiterates that she needs to feel important. Robyn seems to need a lot of individual attention from a dude married to a basketball team of people. They show up at some horse stables and Brady presents Robyn with THE RING. Robyn is pacified…for the moment. Off to a wagon ride, then dinner al fresco where Brady reads something called “Yesterday and Forever” to Robyn through tears. Brady recalls their first days together (6 months after his first wedding day to another woman, yo!) and hopes this will heal their relationship. Brady reflects that he just can’t afford to take any of his wives for granted. Also, Brady cannot afford 5 wives. (Sorry, I just don’t think America is over this bankruptcy hoo-ha yet.)

The gaggle of wives comes over to Robyn’s house the next day to hear all about her date and to see her ring…and to secretly hope that she’ll finally shut her trap about feeling perpetually unloved, no doubt. They seem genuinely happy for her. Nonie keeps it real though and admits she is a bit jealous. Good job fessing up to the truth of this mess, Nonie! Paulie sort of echoes the same sentiments in her interview.

Camping trip prep is in full swing. Brady says they are “expert campers” and a “well-oiled machine” as a 30-person camping unit. I know families of 4 who literally want to off themselves after one single camping trip with their kids, so this I have GOT to see. I frankly don’t know how you could even keep 24 kids alive at a camp site for 2 days, but perhaps I’m too skeptical. Let’s commence the huge fight about setting up the tent! Yes!! Reality sets in as Rosemary realizes Brady has no idea how to set up the new tent, so all 5 wives pitch in and set the damn thing up themselves. Brady enters the tent and exclaims he could “fit 2 more wives in here! Maybe I should have 7 wives!” #gopayyourbillsfirst

The family goes around the circle to congratulate their “triplets” on their graduation and college days ahead. Cake is cut, Robyn cries some more. Rosemary interviews that she feels blessed. Later that night, Brady decides the tent is, in fact, too small therefore he will sleep outside. Whoa…if this is a metaphor for the future of their plural marriage, then this show will be more like Big Love than I originally thought!

Sneak peeks of the season ahead bring more drama in the form of adoption rumors, double dates among the wives, children leaving, and – most likely – Robyn’s fragile emotional state.

TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SEASON 2 SO FAR?

Recap Author: Erin M.

Photo Credit: TLC

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