Kourtney & Khloe Take The Hamptons Recap: Fixer Upper? More Like Fixer Downer


This week on Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons, Scott Disick and Khloe Kardashian do their final podcast on a raft attached to Scott’s boat while racing through bay of Long Island.  OMG, I do not care about this podcast at all.  Stop with the podcasts already.

Back at the Dash doll house (I can’t believe I just wrote that), where the 2 employees that occupy the Hamptons pop-up boutique are residing, Khloe pays a visit to run her fingers through her hair, er, I mean, check-up on the gals.  I’m going to make this interesting and count how many times Khloe touches her hair this episode.  I will predict no less than 100 times.  Malika, Khloe’s BFF, lets her know that Khloe intimidates the dolls and in order to make them feel nice and cozy, Malika wants to go out with all of them for drinks.  Oh good lord.  The Dash dolls: Durrani and Caroline + booze = one hot mess.  Khloe agrees and this segment might be the only reason why I’m tuning in for the rest of recap tonight.  

Meanwhile, Kourt (in that awesome plush robe) and Scott decide that as the summer is winding down, they have to go to his parent’s house and at least attempt to clean it out.  Scott warms up to the idea because Kourt expresses she now has a love of interior design (um, okay) and wants the parent’s house to be her first project.  Her hope is that she does such a good job clearing it out and fixing it up that it will convince Scott to keep it as their second home.  This is not a terrible idea people – I am shocked!
Later that day, Scott checks in with Khloe and Mumbles (aka French Montana, her boyfriend) and for the first part of the segment, there are NO SUBTITLES. Ergo, I have no idea what they are talking about.  Monkeys? Julius Caesar? Then halfway through, the editors woke up from being passed out (from utter boredom due to this footage would be my guess) in their control room and decide to add subtitles.  Either that, or they legitimately could not understand him to even insert subtitles during the first half of his conversation with Scott.  Whatever, I have no clue what just happened.
Moving on, Kourt finally makes it to Scott’s parents’ house and gets to take a peak at what she’s working with to remodel the house.  Just by walking in, I can tell this is a total gut rehab and she invites a contractor over to help her determine what needs to get done.  Kourt will have her plate full with this one that’s for sure!
Tonight is the big night Khloe takes the Dash dolls out for cocktails.  Khloe’s assessment is that they are balls of energy and she loves it.  Huh?  After hearing Durrani’s and Caroline’s convo in the car on the way over to 1OAK, I want to stab my eyes out with razor blades.  I like Khloe, probably the most.  But damn , the company she keeps and their intelligence seems so beneath what any functional human being can tolerate, I have a hard time believing she enjoys hanging out with people like this.  I’m not trying to be all high and mighty, but holy crap at age 30 there is no way in hell I would hang out with anyone like this. 
The next morning, Kourt gets wind of this and although her personality is equivalent to a wet towel, she makes a good point that Khloe should not be crossing the boss line and take employees out for drinks and clubbing. This advice resonates for all of 3 seconds because the next day, Khloe invites the dolls to lunch with Kourt and Jonathan Cheban,  Kourt is all, “WTF Khloe??” and once they arrive Kourt hangs for 5 more seconds and bails.  Kourt needs to chill.  Lots of people have lunch and cocktails that work together.  Khloe is a tad embarrassed and calls her out on it when they get back to the beach house. Kourt realizes that she might be a little spazzy and will try to be a bit nicer next time. 
Over at Scott’s parents’ house, Kourt shows Khloe all the progress she has made.  It’s a little strange that Kourtney is delegated to be the point person for removing all this stuff from her boyfriend’s house.  Is there no aunt or uncle or cousin that might want to help out too?  Is Scott really the ONLY person involved in his parent’s estate?  And why can’t Kourtney just rent out a huge storage unit and send everything there and they can figure it out later??? Scott doesn’t seem to care right now and Kourt should just let it go.  He has a call with the contractor and informs him he would like to just sell the house.  Kourt is sad that is what he wants, but Khloe assures her that it’s the best thing for him and it’s ultimately up to Scott and not Kourtney.  
Next week – the sisters have a little end of summer fun that involves booze and drags Scott into it.  Kourtney blows up at Khloe and she wants nothing to do with it. Having two sisters myself, I love seeing sibling brawls!  Stay tuned.
Recap Author:  Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: E!