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blood sweat and heels

OK, folks! In full disclosure, I am writing this Blood, Sweat, and Heels recap after sweating and slogging around Disney World all day with my family, so I may be a little slow on the uptake. (Actually it’s been a blast and I have mad respect for all of the parents who’ve gone before me running the Mickey gauntlet.) I’ve got three full cups of coffee in my system now and am ready to roll – so, here we go!

We pick up with Melyssa Ford rehearsing for her soon-to-debut musical/comedy “For Vixens Who’ve Considered Homicide When the Video Was Too Much.” So, it’s catchy then! Melissa says she creates high pressure situations for herself so she can squeeze diamonds out. She’s looking to spoof the industry that’s defined her for so long – the music industry that made her, that is. She takes the stage to rehearse her lines and it seems as if she needs a BIT more work before opening day. Melyssa interviews that she wants to be more than a video vixen has been – she wants to be a professional, uh, professional. She can’t think of an exact title yet, so step off people!

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Over at Mica Hughes’ apartment, her ex, Terry, has come a’callin and Mica is rocking 1978 in her fro and dinner-plate sized pink earrings. Mica says their breakup has been difficult, but she hangs out with all her exes. She knows it sends the wrong message & that Terry’s still in love with her. Her chinchilla (is that what the F that thing is!?) names Barack (Rocky for short) is tearing up the joint while Terry slips out and Daisy Lewellen slips in for a visit. Daisy admits it’s been tough going through treatments since she was diagnosed with cancer and asks Mica to join her for her next chemo appointment. Mica sees Daisy as a sister and interviews that she knows God will take care of her. Firs though, it’s time for Mica to put on a “pop up” runway show in her living room in preparation for the real thing, which she’s planning on doing all over town. I would PAY to see a pop up Mica runway show anywhere, anytime. Shopping for carrots? Pop up runway show! Getting your upper lip waxed? Pop up runway show!

Geneva Thomas is hauling a step ladder around her new Wall Street apartment trying to reach the 1.5 cabinets of storage her place has. Demetria Lucas comes over for a visit and is of course looking on point with in her fitted floral dress. Demetria is writing a book, but feels like the words aren’t coming. Geneva says she figures Demetria probably wants to “relax and deCOMPOSE” (bwahahahahaha!) after being so stressed with the book all of the time. Love when the malapropisms fly. Happens to the best of us. No shade, Geneva! Demetria has compiled the best of her love advice from her columns over the years, but doesn’t know where to begin putting them together. She asks Geneva if she’ll be heading to Melyssa’s play and Geneva says she’ll go and support Melyssa’s “off-off-Broadway production.” A shady tree grows in Wall Street and it’s name is Geneva.

Daisy is almost at the finish line of her cancer treatments and it’s been a long haul. She’s stage three (of four), so she’s in the “red zone” but hopeful. She immediately thought she’d be okay when she got the stage three cancer news, but was worried about her parents. She says the “Big C” has shined the light on the love her parents have for her. Daisy doesn’t want her parents to know how much she does hurt some days, so she puts a smile on her face no matter what. A breathing coach shows up to guide Daisy through some deep breathing and meditation, but Daisy’s got to get the bra off before she can relax. Daisy, we can all relate to that! The bra’s gotta go if any modicum of relaxation is gonna be achieved, period.

Melyssa visits a morning radio show to promote her new show and the hosts tear her up a bit about being an old video vixen. She says the play shows the “abuse” the video world inflicts on its victims/vixens. She says the last video she made was 10 years ago, but she can’t seem to escape it. Here’s a tip, Melyssa: STOP talking about it, girl! She claims she’s serious about real estate now, and musical/comedies with very, very long titles. That are based on her life she wants everyone to stop talking about. Pleaseandthankyou.

Back at Daisy’s appointment, Mica shows up in a candy-striper getup for her, and a goofy headband for Daisy. She joins in the deep breathing exercises with Daisy and her coach, but seems visibly broken up seeing Daisy hooked up to her chemo machine. Daisy breaks down in tears, with Mica following. Daisy says she’s crying happy tears and this journey has been very empowering because she’s pushed through something that’s threatened to kill her, but hasn’t. Can I just say point blank: I LOVE DAISY. Her spirit is freaking beautiful and I’m just happy to witness her strength and grace in these scenes. What a fantastic example to the rest of the reality TV world she is!  Mica says it’s all about faith, which she shares with Daisy. But she realistically fears this disease killing her friend too. The ladies then hilariously try to remember Melyssa’s damn play title and come up with seriously better versions like “When Puff Daddy Tells You To Get a New Weave And You Gonna Commit Suicide For A Video.” They also wonder if Demetria & Geneva will go. Daisy says, “I want to fight cancer, not Demetria.”

Melyssa picks up her mom & aunt from the airport. She considers herself Daddy’s Little Girl, so since her dad passed, she’s tried to build more of a relationship with her mom. She hopes her mom, who she feels doesn’t really know her well, sees more of who she is through the play. She feels like letting her mom see the play is like yelling, “Hey I’m pregnant!” in a crowd. Melyssa also feels like her love life is in the crapper.

Demetria heads to her local coffee shop to get fuel to keep at the writing grind. She’s overwhelmed, the book is late, and she’s self-publishing which means she has to do all the work from nuts to soup. As an editor for 10 years, she knows when a book is done. And this book, says Demtria, is not done.

It’s the day of Melyssa’s play debut! She breaks down in tears just entering the building backstage, saying she’s terrified. But the real drama is happening front of house where Mica & Demetria enter and do not speak to each other, but stand awkwardly next to each other staring at their playbills for 3 minutes. Mica refuses to speak to Demetria first, which she says Demetria “requires” to then speak herself. Daisy enters and sits with Mica while Demetria and Geneva hang together. Demetria says she didn’t speak to Mica in the lobby because Mica’s “so volatile,” but Geneva puts her big girl panties on and initiates a hello to Mica and Daisy. If Geneva can get over being called Too-Wong-Foo-Wesley-Snipes by Mica, then I think Demetria should be able to choke out a hello every now and then.

Uh oh – here goes the play! (Is it weird that I’m nervous?) The production begins with the motherboard blowing, then a line of women coming out in glittering masks with no sound system. Melyssa’s backstage flipping out in a remarkably calm manner, then takes the stage again to…strip? Yes, she shakes it out to some sort of “Perfect Hourglass” song. Demetria interviews that she’s proud of Melyssa no matter what. But the hot mess kind of continues as the lights blow out in the theater next. The actors rally, some more songs/bumping/grinding/miscues happen, and finally the whole shebang ends. Daisy interviews that she doesn’t know what the message is here, but there’s something about Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No!” campaign going on. Just not about drugs, maybe?

At the after party, the ladies hug and congratulate Melyssa, telling her the play was greats, which is the kind thing to do. Demetria interviews that she’s not a “monster beating down doors” (throwing shade at Mica, of course) so she thinks the women shouldn’t be scared of her. Mica gets into a conversation about being single again with new cast mate, Arzo Anwar, who Geneva brought along. Anwar seems interested in being single white female-y with Mica, wanting to go meet boys with her ASAP. But later she says she has a steady boyfriend, of 9 years! So, who knows what this chic’s deal is. Geneva does not like the looks of Arzo cozying up to Mica. Melyssa and Arzo are old friends from MTV days too, apparently. Meanwhile Melissa breaks down in tears when her mom tells her she like the play, feeling like she’s finally let her mom in on some private feelings. In an off-off-broadway show!

As she’s leaving the party, Demetria makes a point of saying to Daisy, “It’s okay to speak to me when you see me,” then turns her back and walks away. Daisy and Arzo sort of stare at each other, not really knowing how to deal with that parting shot. Mica comes over to discuss the childish games that have been going on. Arzo interviews that these women look like crabs in a barrel pulling each other down. You can just sense that Arzo will be jumping into that scratchy barrel o’ crabs with both claws as soon as she can though.

TELL US: DO YOU THINK DEMETRIA SHOULD PLAY NICE WITH MICA and DAISY? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ARZO AS THE NEW ADDITION? 

 Photo Credit:  Mathieu Young/Bravo

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