Little Women: NY has been bringing us plenty of drama courtesy of Lila Call and Dawn Lang in the past few weeks, but last night the storm clouds shifted toward the tension brewing between Misty Irwin and Jordanna James over their “warring” jobs in the Little People Fashion Show.
We begin with the aftermath of Jazmin Lang & Dawn’s argument over Lila’s sobriety – who’s supporting her, who’s not supporting her, who’s her puppy dog, yadda yadda. Dawn the Power Ranger is deflecting the crap out of Jazmin’s main points, ultimately accusing Jazmin of taking anti-anxiety meds from Lila at Lila’s intervention. Which has nothing to do with anything. Or does it? Lila comes down to tag out Jazmin as Dawn’s next victim, then Jazmin comes back to double team with Lila on Dawn. Dawn finally retreats to the comfort of the couch with the rest of the group while Lila & Jazmin scurry to a nearby bedroom to ponder why Dawn is such a total mean girl. In tears, Jazmin says she just can’t deal with Dawn anymore, sister in law or not: “First time, shame on her, second time, shame on me,” she says. So, is she really done?
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The next morning, Jordanna, Kristin Zettlemoyer, and Jazmin are at breakfast debriefing from last night’s antics. Talk turns to the upcoming fashion show that Jordanna knows Misty is jealous about (both women will be walking in the show). Cut back to NYC where Misty is taking Kristin along to her wardrobe fitting for the show. Misty will be wearing a dress made entirely of real $100 bills. Dayum! I don’t know about y’all, but I might yell “Fire!” and run straight out of the show if I was fitted with that thing. The dress looks cute and Misty is rocking it, but she’s insecure about whether she’ll get to actually wear it in the show, which will be the feature dress – and last look – of the night. Misty breaks down in tears thinking – gasp! – that Jordanna may actually have a shot at wearing the Dolla Dress, which it will heretofore be known as!
In a gym across town, Lila’s gathered Jason Perez, Jazmin, and Misty to learn some self defense. They each vocalize how vulnerable they can feel as little people in a city where there are potential threats everywhere. The group slays it defending themselves against the grabs and jabs of the instructors. Go little people! After training, Jason says Dawn is ridiculous for fighting with Jazmin and Lila constantly, and Jazmin reiterates that Dawn has “pushed the wrong button” and she is DUNZO with her.
Speaking of Dawn, Jordanna brings her along to her runway fitting. She’s given blue and yellow number that looks, frankly, like it came out of a dusty old Wizard of Oz munchkin wardrobe. Not a good look, girl. Then – dun, dun, DUN – out comes the Dolla Dress! Jordanna, of course, loves it but she confesses to Dawn that she knows Misty wants it too. The designer tells Jordanna that she’ll be wearing the Dolla Dress and that’s that. Uh oh, Spaghettios. The storm’s a brewin’!
Back at Misty’s apartment, she’s practicing her runway walk for Jason and Kristin. Jason tries on the heels himself and gives us some comical fierceness while he sashays down the hallway. Meanwhile, Kristin reads a text that Jordanna will be wearing the Dolla Dress in the finale of the show. Misty is not a happy camper. As she screams, “She took MY dressssssss!” Jason & Kristin remind her that this is all just how the entertainment world works, so she’s gotta suck it up and keep it movin.
Lila & Jason head out to get some dog supplies for Lila’s pooch. Jason says he’s upset about Jordanna calling him a coward in front of the group for moving back into his family’s home. Jordanna is like a sister to Jason, he says, but she crossed a line. He feels like a fool in front of his friends now. He even accuses Jordanna of “stealing Misty’s dress!” So I guess he’s piling on to that theory now too.
Fashion show prep is underway backstage and it’s the moment of truth as Jordanna & Misty come face to face. Misty says, “I heard you took what I had” and interviews that she “got f*’d over.” Misty tells Jordanna she’s upset that Kristin had to deliver the bad news to her, but Jordanna asks that Misty just be professional today and get through the show. Misty, professional that she is <ahem>, starts crying when she sees the actual dress she’ll be wearing. The designer gives zero f*’s about Misty’s crybaby behavior and says in her super boss (Russian? Italian?) accent, “In life, you can’t get everything,” adding a final jab: “Lose some weight, then maybe next time you can get it.” #ouch! Misty squeezes into her skirt and top – which is actually pretty snazzy – but rips the lace because it’s too tight. She complains to the designer (of ALL people!) that she doesn’t like the outfit because she looks like a “bride that died.” Way to book more jobs, Misty. Cry in front of designer about wardrobe assignment. Check! Insult designer’s ensemble with dead bride comments. Check!
The rest of the group shows up to watch the show. Jazmin is not looking forward to seeing Dawn, but she plans to keep her mouth shut and ignore the snot out of her sis-in-law for now. Good strategy. The show looks fantastic and Jason sits in the audience staring jealous daggers at the girls werking their curves. Jordanna ends the show in the Dolla Dress and looks #flawless according to Lila.
After the show, the group gathers to celebrate and Lila says she is feeling more comfortable not drinking tonight, even though she’s in a bar. Jordanna & Misty join the group to applause and cheers. The group gushes about the Dolla Dress, but things turn sour quickly as Dawn asks Jazmin why she hasn’t responded to her calls or texts. The two ladies step off to the side where Jazmin calls Dawn a mean person, but Dawn just says “I’m brutally honest,” which is the 21st century term for “I’m a reckless b*tch who says anything I want, expecting no repercussions!” No, girlfriend. It doesn’t (or shouldn’t) work that way. Dawn condescendingly tells Jazmin, “when you’re ready to put this aside, let me know.” Does Dawn want to get physically assaulted? Cause homegirl is cruisin for a bruisin, man. Jazmin abides by her own advice and keeps her mouth shut. Back in the group, things take a turn and Dawn actually says, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” Dawn & Jazmin hug and, cynical though I am, the moment seems sincere. Since Dawn rarely apologizes, we all may want to keep this on our DVRs to rewind later in the season!
Back to the Jordanna show! She shares privately with Jason that the show’s designer asked her to go to Paris to model with their traveling show. EhrMeGerd. Someone grab the umbrellas because Misty’s head is about to explode and it’s going to be raining broken dreams up in here in 3…2…1… Jason tells Jordanna not to tell Misty the bad news in front of the group, then IMMEDIATELY runs over to tell Misty that Jordanna got the Paris gig. Wow, Jason. You are a shady dude! Misty’s eyes go dead – like dead bride dead – before she goes off on how Jordanna takes everything she wants in life. Whah! Jason stirs the pot more by egging Misty on to confront Jordanna…about what? Being more successful? Misty and Jason come back to the group ready for a fight and Jordanna smells a rat. Misty pulls Jordanna aside to follow through on Jason’s evil plans while the group berates Jason for being a giant diva pot-stirrer. After Misty confronts Jordanna about Paris, Jordanna runs right back to the root of the problem: Jason. Jason whines that he’s “just trying to help the problem.” You know, by pitting one friend against other, embellishing stories about one person being “out to get” another unsuspecting person. Helping solve problems! It’s what he does.
TELL US: DO YOU THINK JASON SHOULD HAVE STIRRED THE POT? DOES MISTY NEED TO GET OVER HER JEALOUSY?
Photo Credit: Lifetime