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Not having blogged since the first episode, Tamra Judge takes a long, meandering tour through the last two weeks – not to mention the last year! – of the Real Housewives of Orange County to bring us up to speed on where her head’s at these days. She begins with an explanation of why last year was tough for her personally, and on camera, and assures viewers that the “New Tamra” is legit. She’s turning over a new leaf, yo! And anyone who thinks otherwise can “SUCK IT!” (yes, real quote).

Tamra begins by sharing, “The last year had been a long painful journey for me and coming back to the show and filming scared me. I really did feel like I had been hit by a truck and I was learning to function again.”  She says she couldn’t talk about most of her issues on camera last season due to legal reasons, but does reveal, “My ex-husband put me and the children thorough a painful custody battle that lasted a year. A year of court dates, attorney fees, sleepless nights, scared children, therapy appointments, false media stories, lies, embarrassment, but most of all the worst pain I had ever felt. These are memories that me and my children will never forget.” The court battle ended in Tamra’s two youngest children being closer “than ever” to her, while her eldest daughter has chosen to live with Tamra’s ex. Tamra admits, “every day without her is painful for me.” 

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Tamra cites the bad press she was subjected to throughout her custody dispute: “They called me ‘monster mom, child abuser, unfit mother.’ They said ‘my husband was leaving me, that I was fired from RHOC.’ And none of it was true. The truth is the judge threw out the case without even hearing my testimony. There was NO evidence, NO witnesses and NO truth to any of it. Now I am left to pick up all the pieces and find my happy again.” Through it all, Tamra claims Heather Dubrow was “a wonderful friend to me and was one person that really helped me get through some hard days.

Ah, but now that the dog days are over, Tamra can focus on her “spiritual journey,” a storyline she’s already been getting a lot of heat about, and which she defends in only a way Tamra can. “But with every bad thing comes something good,” shares Tamra. “When I felt I was at my lowest I went to church and my life changed forever. I am excited to share my journey with you. Already people are reporting that my faith is ‘fake’ or ‘I had no storyline’ and all I can say to them is keep watching and I hope you are inspired by my story. I am not perfect and I never will be, but now I got the man upstairs helping me thorough life. You’ll see me slip up, make bad decisions and do things without thinking…that’s just me! Like I said if you don’t like it you can SUCK IT!”

Nervous about going to Napa for Heather’s Collette party, Tamra says she did have fun in the end. but doesn’t understand the blowup between Meghan Edmonds and Shannon Beador. Revealing that she is basically #teammeghan, Tamra shares, “I clicked with Meghan instantly. She is sassy and a little bit smart***y just like me.” As for the phone call in question Tamra claims to be baffled. “To be honest I really didn’t get what the big deal was? Sounded more like a misunderstanding than anything to me. I had no idea it was going to get so blown out of proportion like it did. I walked into the Bello’s living room to get my purse and I overhead Shannon and Meghan talking. I was like WOW this sh** is happening! Watching the episode it all seemed pretty petty to me…but who am I to judge?”

But who cares about a little public fighting amongst women when there is toilet paper in one’s undies to be attended to!? “Can we please talk about the toilet paper in my dress…that was embarrassing!” She thanks Shannon for pulling it out (eww) and reflects on the romantic night with Eddie, which ended in more TP pulling: “to have my husband pull the rest out in bed was beyond embarrassing. I think we laughed about it for days.”

Speaking of Shannon, Tamra says she told her she was not invited to Meghan’s party to “save her from that embarrassment”- potentially of showing up unannounced. “No one wants to be left out it’s a sh***y feeling, especially for a charity event that you hosted the year before,” claims Tamra. “I am trying to put myself in Meghan’s shoes, she doesn’t really know Shannon, they did not get off to a good start and the last time they saw each other they were in a huge fight. I am not going to pick sides on this one and I’m not sure what I would have done in that situation, but what I do know is that it wasn’t my fight to fight.”

Although Vicki Gunvalson asked Tamra to boycott Meghan’s event and come to dinner instead along with Shannon and her, Tamra declined. She says meeting them afterwards was good, though, and “It was nice to see them having a good time.”

The topic of Meghan’s age seems to be on Shannon and Vicki’s lips lately, but Tamra says, “I can’t remember what I said about Meghan being young in last night’s episode? But news alert you are young Meg, nothing wrong with that. You are the age of some of our kids. So when we say things about your age it’s not a bad thing, I would have to say that you are the most mature 30 year old I have ever met. So don’t get mad at me for calling you young…what I’d give to be 30 again and know what I know now.”

Tamra closes her blog by expressing her sadness about Shannon and David’s marriage issues, claiming “I had no idea the extent of their marriage problems and that she would be revealing them on the show until recently. Shannon has had the life knocked out of her by David’s affair and she is fighting to keep her family together.” Tamra also (shockingly!) says she’s “sad” that she’s badmouthed Shannon as “crazy or out there” in the past. “She is not crazy she is hurting,” argues Tamra. “When you’re going through the hardest time of your life its hard to cope with every day decisions and people referring to you as crazy doesn’t help. I’m sorry Shannon. Shannon is a great mom and wife from what I have seen and I hate that she’s going through so much pain.”

Promising to keep up with her blogs from now on (and perhaps keeping them under the length of a dissertation??), Tamra reminds us to watch her on WWHL July 13 for the birth of her “beautiful granddaughter Ava.” 

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Photo Credit: Bravo 

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