After watching the Shahs of Sunset lure Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi into the woods for hopes of an intervention last week, we finally got to see the fruits of their labor/deception on last night’s episode.
Mike Shouhed is busy taking what I can only assume are purchase orders for shoes on his cell while the women folk cook a pretty sad looking spread of shrimp and veggies on the grill. Awkward small talk is being made and you can tell GG is already drunk by the time she
cross eyes up Mike to tell her why she is so angry at him. She doesn’t like how he talks to her and Mike sets his phone down long enough to apologize profusely and say he will let it all go. GG slurs some type of response to indicate she can move on. Asa Soltan Rahmati wastes no time turning this into a spiritual event. Asa says she wants to throw their issues into the fire while Mike and GG hug it out.
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Reza Farahan is so thrilled everyone is getting along that he decides to put the fake poop spray away and turn his pranks up a notch. He decides to try and trick Mike into believing that Mercedes “MJ” Javid is pregnant but Mike (who probably knows his way around a fake pregnancy claim or two), isn’t buying it. Shervin Roohparvar, who is as gullible as he is attractive, buys right into it and tries to talk MJ out of drinking while pregnant. Fake pregnancy is hilarious, right? Not really. Reza should probably stick to his poop pranks.
Mike keeps running off to take phone calls and it turns out, he’s got trouble at home with wife, Jessica Parido. Gee, I wonder why there might be an issue with his wife when he’s away on a trip with the very person who he
undoubtedly allegedly cheated with. Mike tries to explain to MJ that he has a duty to his wife to take care of her, even though he is all the way in the woods with his one-time mistress. He (sort of) confides in MJ to try and get an ally for when everyone busts his chops for being on the phone with his wife, who is busting his chops.
While everyone is busy getting things off their chest, Reza decides to tell MJ how hurt he is that she didn’t react well to his news about wanting to get married again. Instead of letting the conversation flow, GG and her flame-retardant, camping collection extensions come to sit down next to MJ and offer this unsolicited tidbit of wisdom: “Do you.” And then keeps repeating it over and over. Everyone waits patiently for GG to explain what the eff she is talking about but instead, GG transports herself in her head to twerking at a club to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love,” complete with hand gestures. They thought they took the GG out of the club, but they couldn’t take the club out of GG!
Asa tries to envelop GG in her full Santa Fe retiree-inspired ensemble, which only causes more trouble because GG doesn’t want hugs. GG slurs some more unintelligible things and is put to bed to sleep off her sloppiness. Shervin decides he can’t stand for being tricked and needs to retaliate against Reza’s earlier shenanigans. He’s dressed for the covert operation in a sleeveless hoodie (seriously, what is the point??) and Reza has busted out the poop spray again. Sigh, I can’t decide which is more played out on this camping trip – the ever present red sneakers Mike’s sporting night and day or Reza’s potty pranks.
Morning comes and it’s time for this ragged bunch to actually do something other than drink and play fart jokes. GG is busy fighting off her morning
hangover RA inflammation with salt water as the Shahs prepare to set out to seize the day, with bed head and bandanas. On the RV trip to their planned location, Mike is busy whining about marriage and Reza astutely points out how if it’s this hard year one, then Mike is in trouble. Everyone at home watching nods their head emphatically.
The Shahs arrive at an obstacle course, and naturally, GG makes a big show of how she can’t get across the rope obstacle with her RA hand. Reza gets into full metaphor mode and explains how the rope obstacle is like their lives and GG doesn’t have the tools to get across without help. He decides that they don’t want to give up on GG and leave her behind and she manages to get across with all kinds of help and fanfare. GG talks about what an amazing moment it is and I guess that’s fair for someone who doesn’t work, pay bills, or have any real problems outside of a drinking and the occasional bout of hand inflammation to use as an excuse in life.
Mike and Reza bond over the obstacles and Reza is giving me full on Village People construction worker vibes right now between the mustache, hard hat, and yellow work gloves. Mike relates the obstacle course back to his marriage. Not really sure how you can rope climb your way out of constantly cheating on your wife but ok, Mike, have your moment of perceived clarity.
All this positivity has to be too good to be true and sure enough, it is. On the car ride to dinner, Reza loudly discusses how they should keep an eye on GG’s drinking with GG sitting less than a foot away. GG seethes in silence.
Everyone arrives to a decidedly non-L.A. restaurant for dinner and GG can’t even let anyone order appetizers before her dramatics demand to be noticed. She’s not hungry and no amount of potato skins or mozzarella sticks can solve this issue. GG instructs the waiter to not put food in front of her and decides to pout and speak cryptically when asked what’s wrong by the group. She wants anyone who has an issue with her to tell her to her face and is upset that anyone would talk about her behind her back after such an amazing day of her doing something other than causing drama. MJ decides the intervention doesn’t have to wait and goes right in on GG about what she said about MJ’s relationship the last time they met for dinner. Mike jumps in and actually makes sense by explaining that GG needs to start changing since she’s in her 30s and the people who care about her are trying to help her change for the better.
Back to the campsite and it’s time for what’s supposed to be an intervention but probably should be more along the lines of an exorcism. Mike lights a fire, Reza changes into a different colored mustache beanie, and everyone tries to figure out where to start with this mess. GG’s eyes are already at half-mast as she clutches her red solo cup so I can tell none of this will sink in, and next week, we will be watching another GG blow up. Mike asks GG point blank what she is miserable about and GG admits that whatever she thought she would have in life, she doesn’t have. She goes on to say that she doesn’t know if she should even have kids because she doesn’t want to pass her disease on to them and Mike has to clarify (along with everyone at home) that she means her RA. Mike insists that GG should be a “survivor” and kick her disease’s ass. Are we seriously entertaining this?
GG makes up all kinds of excuses and lists her Yolanda Foster-approved method of healing a questionable diagnosis but says nothing helped so she has given up hope. GG is starting to crack and Shervin sees the chance to pull out letters from GG’s family to talk about their feelings. GG doesn’t want to hear it because she doesn’t have the “emotional capacity” to deal with it (duh) and Shervin
blows smoke up her ass tells GG she’s the strongest person here. *eye roll* He finally coaxes GG back to the fire to hear her dad’s words with the promise of her being able to punch him in the balls if she isn’t happy. Oh, Shervin, please take better care of those balls. Shervin reads a letter from GG’s dad and he lists all the ways she has changed but also talks about how she deserves happiness. It was actually very touching.
GG continues smoking and slurs about how she is weirdly happy right now and the camera cuts to Reza housing s’mores and avoiding eye contact, clearly unimpressed. Mike says that GG has opened her mind to the universe and everyone acknowledges that this is a good start. MJ and GG take this opportunity to hug and share the bond of equally bad hair extensions. They all end with a toast, a group hug, and the hope for restored relationships. Am I wrong or have we seen this before? Time to put the fire out on this camping trip before it starts to go south!
Photo Credit: Bravo