Teen Mom 2 recap

Teen Mom 2 Recap: Creepy “Uncle Dave” Strikes Again

Last night was the most rage-inducing episode of Teen Mom 2 this season thanks to David Eason’s (aka “Uncle Dave”) beyond creepy, awful behavior.

On the bright side, Adam Lind’s child support wasn’t mentioned at all (or it was and my brain has successfully blocked it out). Instead of forced storylines that no one cares about, we got to see the genuine Chelsea Houska deal with the very real issue of taking a six year old to get glasses.

The deployed Javi Marroquin made several appearances via FaceTime and surprised Kailyn Lowry and her friends. Leah Messer was surprised by Corey Simms’s objection to the court order grant, which she thought they had agreed was fair and best for the girls. And I was surprised and disgusted to see David calling Kaiser his kid.

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It turns out Cole DeBoer is quite the handyman! He’s building a shoe rack for Chelsea, who jumps in to help. Just when I think they’re making the situation sexual in a romantic, adult kind of way, Chelsea ruins it by being goofy and of course using her infamous baby voice. In an attempt to recover the situation and be seductive, Chelsea teases that she will be wearing a bandana for a top and booty shorts to the Jason Aldean concert. Cole buckles under the awkwardness of an adult moment, so he jokingly asks if he should go naked. Chelsea’s cool with that as long as he covers his ding-dong.

Chole (it’s way past time to combine their names since Chelsea and Cole are almost always together now) and friends are getting ready for the concert and Cole looks like such a dork in a vest that is such a disgrace to the American flag it’s borderline offensive. Chelsea loves it though. She probably made him wear it and who is Cole to object? At the concert, Chole and friends are waiting backstage to meet Jason Aldean. Chelsea asks Cole if he’d be upset if Jason Aldean signed her vag. Cole just writes it off as Chelsea being ridiculous and to answer Chelsea’s next question, no, he does not want his d*ck signed. Chole: the embodiment of sexual frustration that builds when you have an adult body but a fifth grader’s level of maturity.

Teen Mom 2 recap

Later, Chelsea takes Aubree to the eye doctor. Someone greets them with baby voice and it’s a little unsettling until I realize it was friend Chelsey who said it; she works there. The appointment goes fine until the doctor tells Aubree she needs a couple of drops in her eyes. Aubree gets really scared and refuses. The doctor makes it worse by saying it’s like going to the swimming pool. Poor Aubree says when she goes to the pool and gets water in her eyes it burns. Now she’s even more scared and kicks and flails while Chelsea tries to hold her still for the drops.

We didn’t see how it happened, but Aubree eventually calmed down enough to get her drops. Chelsea tells Aubree it’s okay to be afraid but she can’t run around screaming and kicking. Aubree apologizes to the doctor and goes off to play with toys while the doctor explains to Chelsea that she’ll need to wear glasses all the time. I thought Aubree would throw a fit when she found out, but she is super excited…for now.

Kail is hanging out with the boys when Lincoln hits Isaac. Kail makes him apologize and give Isaac a hug. Lincoln obliges, but then calls Isaac a puta. Kids! Meanwhile, Javi FaceTimes his friend and opens up about having a hard time being away. He realizes all that Kail is doing for the family and to show her his appreciation, he has called her friends to arrange a girls’ night out.

To show their appreciation to Javi for planning the girls’ night, Kail and her friends bake cookies to send to him. Unfortunately, they look like shit even after Kail pulled her hair out of the dough. Hopefully she sent store-bought cookies instead. Kail tells her friends that Isaac’s having a hard time with Javi being gone, especially at night when she hears him crying and having imaginary conversations with Javi.

Teen Mom 2 recap

Later, when Kail and the girls arrive at the restaurant, Javi has flowers waiting there for each of them. Javi’s gestures this episode have been so sweet but the cynic in me wonders if there is more to this, like overcompensation or a desperate attempt to repair things, especially knowing the current status of their relationship. Speaking of compensation, Kail’s friend asks how she feels about being celibate for a few more months (assuming she is), but Kail is fine with it because that’s what toys are for.

The next day, Javi FaceTimes Kail and she thanks him for the dinner and flowers. Javi acknowledges that her friends play a huge role in their marriage. His tone suddenly saddens and he fights back tears. He tells Kail he feels like he’s in prison. Kail can’t handle the emotional situation, so she starts to get on his case, practically blaming him for complaining on the phone without offering any suggestions on how she can help him. She keeps it reigned in just enough to not come across as a total ass, but she goes on to tell him that he can’t let it get to his head. Javi basically tells her to lay off. Surprisingly, she does.

Kail’s in tears after talking to Javi because he’s sad and she has no way to help him. She could visit him, but he only has one day a week off, so it’s not worth the 24-hour flight. She tells her friend she didn’t think it would be this hard for him. Maybe because she didn’t listen to him at all the last few weeks (months?) when he expressed how hard it would be and instead just reminded him that this is what he signed up for. Maybe she just thinks less of him for being emotional. Meanwhile, Kail is moving on with life and learning how to do everything on her own. Preparation for the future?

Teen Mom 2 recap

The twins are with Corey and my god is their room pink. Meanwhile, Leah has Addie who’s eating a tub of icing. According to Leah’s mom, this is perfectly acceptable as long as she’s eating at the table. That’s the difference between me and a toddler. The only acceptable place I could eat icing straight out of the tub is at the kitchen counter or right in front of the refrigerator; anywhere else would be depressing.

Later, Aleeah is at cheer practicing her routine while Ali tumbles around the side of the mats. Aleeah gets a gold star for her back walkover, but Ali breaks down into tears because she wants to cheer, too. It must be hard for her to watch her twin sister do things like back walkovers when she has a hard time just walking. Heart-wrenching.

Teen Mom 2 recap

When Leah gets home, she receives notice of Corey’s objection to language in the court order providing for a joint custodian, which is not recognized by West Virginia law. Leah is confused and waiting to talk to her lawyer about what this all means. Meanwhile, Corey explains to his dad that it was Leah’s lawyer’s responsibility to draft the final order and she must have botched it because the law doesn’t allow for a joint custodian. Rather, a primary custodian needs to be determined. Sounds reasonable to me, but not Leah.

Leah is pretending to clean her house when her sister shows up to listen to Leah vent about the objection. Instead of seeing this for what it is – a legal nuance that needs to be corrected – Leah is in full victim mode, accusing Corey of trying to control her. She’s also still delusional, scoffing that Corey “acts” like he’s the better, more stable parent. “To do what he’s done to my kids, I don’t care if he takes another breath.” Even Leah’s sister looks disgusted that Leah would say that.

Teen Mom 2 recap

Jenelle Evans and David are out day drinking while Kaiser is presumably in daycare. Wasn’t Jenelle against Nathan having Kaiser in daycare when he could be home with her? I guess that was different because she didn’t have a boyfriend to get high with that week. Speaking of which, David seems to be picking at his face, too. Jenelle’s upset that she hasn’t seen Jace in a while, which I suspect has more to do with her animosity toward Barbara Evans than any earnest desire to see her son.

Later, Jenelle lets Kaiser leap off the couch even though she’s literally inches away from him. This kid is a survivor. Meanwhile, Babs questions Jace about the situation at his mommy’s house: Who will be there? David and his daughter. Do you like Maryssa? Yes. What do you do when you’re there? Nothing. We just watch videos. Don’t you go out and do things? No. You don’t go to the playground? Not anymore. Mommy wants to sleep all day. Where’s David? He comes out sometimes, but he sleeps all the time, too. It’s spooky.

Despite this telling inquisition and perhaps her better judgement, Babs lets Jace spend the night at Jenelle’s house. But instead of spending time with him, Jenelle and David tell Jace to go outside. Once he’s gone, Jenelle can finally get back to business on her phone – whatever that may be.

Teen Mom 2 recap

The next day when Babs comes to pick up Jace, he’s playing in the front yard with Maryssa and his friend, but Jenelle and David are locked in their bedroom. Babs screams for them to open the door asking what they’re doing in there. The kids have all gathered around and just assume that Jenelle and David are sleeping like they always do. Finally, David comes out holding Kaiser (I’m scared to know what the poor kid witnessed in there) and locks the door behind him.

Babs is super pissed and continues yelling at David, calling him out for having a domestic violence charge. He denies ever having domestic violence charges against him. He tells her that she can get out of HIS house and needs to stop yelling in front of HIS kids. It’s unclear whether he’s including Jace as one of HIS, but he’s definitely referring to Kaiser, which is just so wrong and so creepy! I’m scared. Jenelle is the kind of woman who would sell her kids for drugs and David seems all too willing a buyer.

Ironically, David calls the cops on Babs! He tells them “this lady” is yelling in front of “all of MY children and will not leave MY house.” Emphasis added because I cannot believe the audacity of this guy. Babs screams that David is the worst boyfriend Jenelle has ever had, before walking out of the house. Once outside, she talks to the cops and tells them her daughter lives there. I’m sure they are well aware who lives there. Then she leaves with Jace, vowing he will not be going back there. And where was Jenelle this entire time? Holed up in her bedroom.

Teen Mom 2 Recap

While Babs is driving home, Jenelle calls to explain she didn’t want to deal with Babs, so she had David do it for her. She’s upset that the cops were called and caused a big scene at her house even though 1) it was David who called the cops, and 2) the neighbors’ perception of Jenelle probably couldn’t get any worse. Jenelle also denies that David has a pending domestic violence charge, which may have been true at the time. If he was already convicted by that time, then technically she’s correct on no pending charges.

Jenelle makes it clear she is avoiding Babs and doesn’t want to talk to her except to discuss Jace. She says that if Babs holds Jace from her, then so be it, she’ll see her in court. Yeah, how has that been working out for you? Babs tells Jenelle she’s worried about her, but Jenelle says she’s healthy. She goes to the gym three times a week, works out vigorously, drinks protein shakes, and is on a low carb diet. Well thank you, Jenelle, for giving me a good laugh in an otherwise horrific, depressing scene. Unfortunately, Jace signs it off with another sad note, telling Babs that Jenelle and David are always in their room complaining about Jace being there. #SaveKaiser

Photo Credit: MTV

Author: Hollie

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