Melissa Gorga Sounds Off About Vermont Trip; Thinks Kim D. Is Jacqueline’s Soldier

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13124 -- Pictured: Melissa Gorga -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

While some Housewives fly off to Morocco or Dubai, The Real Housewives Of New Jersey need only ride a stank party bus as far as Vermont to rage on each other’s a$$es…for multiple episodes. Melissa Gorga sounds off in her blog this week about Jacqueline Laurita’s messy behavior on the cast trip, including her suspicious dalliances with Kim DePaola, who accused Melissa‘s employee of shading Teresa Guidice.

Calling the trip neither fun nor drama-free, Melissa accuses Jacqueline of ruining it straight outta the gate! “I’ve said it before and it’s becoming more apparent that Jacqueline is WAAAY too invested in everyone else’s business,” she says. “She wants us all to believe her meddling ‘comes from a good place,’ but honestly, good for who?”

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Thanks to Jacqueline, Melissa points out that “we finally got to see the return of New Jersey’s own private eye – Kim D. The things that ‘fall into her lap’ are so ridiculous. I’m running a REAL business. The fact that anyone would expect me to terminate an employee based on her word is crazy! But that’s what I’m dealing with here.”

After the airing of this week’s episode in which Kim D accused Melissa’s store manager, Derek Zagami, of posting damning photos of Teresa online, Derek “mysteriously” quit Envy.

“If I’m now Teresa’s soldier, I guess Kim D. is Jacqueline’s,” Melissa snarks, “which is pretty sad to me because after all the claims that she was ‘helping’ us get back together and be a family again, when it FINALLY does happen, she couldn’t be more MISERABLE. It’s written all over her face this season.”

Whoa. Melissa is going IN! Previews for next week suggest that there is no love lost between Jacqueline and Melissa, as (at least) part of the drama looks to be centered squarely on the two of them.

RELATED: Teresa Blames Jacqueline Laurita For Vermont Trip Drama

Melissa continues, “The fact is that her insecurities and paranoia created all of this nonsense. I am a grown adult and am very capable of being friends with her and having a relationship with my sister-in-law even if the two of them are not getting along. This is all just an excuse for her to argue with me and then try to make it look like I’m at fault.”

Melissa claimed this week that Jacqueline may be jealous of her renewed closeness (at least on camera) with sister in law Teresa. Or maybe Jacqueline’s just a squirrel trying to get a Bravo nut? In the form of a renewed contract, of course!

In any case, Melissa has had enough, “I have to say, the amount of time and energy her and her sidekick spend lying and spinning things is incredible. I’d rather spend time with my kids on the football field.”

One of the only light notes of this week’s RHONJ came in the form of Joe Gorga shredding – er, hobbling down – the slopes during the ladies’ ski outing. Melissa jokes, “Joe always tells me he is a professional at every sport. I think skiing is definitely not on that list! He was hilarious trying to impress us with his skills. The whole time on that mountain I was just praying he would not break anything.”

Melissa claims these fun moments were possible only because Jacqueline was not present for them.

TELL US: DO YOU THINK WE’RE IN FOR AN EPIC CAT FIGHT BETWEEN MELISSA AND JACQUELINE NEXT WEEK? IS KIM D. JAC’S ‘SOLDIER’?

Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo