Little Women: LA recap

Last night on Little Women: LA, Terra Jole faced some frightening complications during the C-section birth of her second child (thank goodness we know all is okay, real time!). It didn’t help matters that charming hubby Joe Gnoffo suspiciously scheduled himself to be “out of the country” just days before the blessed event – something Terra was none too happy about.

Also, Jasmine Sorge has apparently gone through deep counseling to get over her very serious issue of not being a dog-person, because she’s back on the scene this week looking smug as ever as Christy McGinity all but BEGS her to be allowed back into the friend group. I’m sorry, but Jasmine being the gatekeeper of who’s “in” and who’s “out” among these ladies is just laughable. Not to mention, it’s totally the position Jasmine has been vying for since she first appeared on the scene. I half expected her to rise up from the cafe chair after her conversation with Christy, shouting maniacally, “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!” – Highlander style. This chick is slithery.


After Tonya Banks goes 20 miserable rounds with the ladies over her comment about Briana Renee having an average sized child, everyone at the belly dancing party is basically exhausted. And perpetually confused. Because these women have very serious comprehension issues. No one but Tonya seems to understand her (extremely clear) statements, so Tonya just peaces out before she goes HAM on these heifers! Terra runs after her to encourage Tonya to make peace with the group, but Tonya stands by her statement that Briana would be in more danger if she were to raise an average sized child. “I’ll talk to her, but not today. Gotta go!” chirps Tonya, finally leaving for good.

At Christy’s house, her daughter Autumn is giving her grandma a makeover. Christy reports that Autumn has seen the doctor again recently, and it looks like she may have a dual hormone/thyroid issue going on. The family is worried about Autumn’s health, not to mention Christy’s father’s health. Christy’s mother wonders if her friends know just how much she’s going through personally right now? Christy wants to make amends with them, but feels she deserves an apology too. She’s sick of being their scapegoat. And if they call her “Crusty” one more freaking time, she might be well within her rights to smash multiple glasses over all of their heads.

Little Women: LA recap

At Terra’s, she and Joe are discussing their baby’s due date, which is coming up soon. Oh – and they’re moving, AND Terra’s poised to start rehearsals for Dancing With The Stars only 3 weeks after she gives birth! So, stress. Joe decides to pile on this stress heap by telling Terra that he and his band are scheduled to do a show in Tijuana, which will get him back into town only TWO days before the baby is due!

Breaking down in tears, Terra wonders, what if she can’t get a hold of Joe if something goes wrong? What if she goes into labor before her scheduled C-section date? Joe offers no words of comfort when he snarks that she should just message him on Facebook if there’s an issue.

Little Women: LA recap

Dude, I know Terra is a piece of work, but I really do feel for her in this moment. My dear hubby was out playing poker the night of my due date and I was ready to be fitted for a straight jacket by the time he rolled in at 2am! And he was in town. Dayum! #PregnantLadyRights #FacebookMyAss #YouBetterStayInTijuana

Terra feels alone, which with this guy, she basically is. At least she has her nanny, “Grandma Olivia,” to help with Penny while Joe is gone. Joe promises he won’t miss the birth of their child. And, for now, all they can do is trust the timing will work out as planned.

Elena Gant is at home helping her mom and sister pack for their trip back to Russia. She is going to miss her family, especially the help they’ve provided with her baby boys. Her little cuties are growing at different rates, but they’re both healthy and thriving. She and Preston haven’t done genetic testing yet; they just aren’t ready. She wants to enjoy the moment for now.

At her pre-op appointment, Terra has brought Tonya along for support. Despite their belly dancing debacle – which involved Terra throwing Tonya under the bus – Tonya will always be loyal to her. Like bad enchiladas, Terra’s argument about the average sized child bullsh*t  is repeating on Tonya one too many times. She is DONE talking about this, even though Terra wants to go another round right here in the OB/GYN waiting room. Tonya agrees to explain herself to Briana again if she must, but she will not be changing her stance. Briana’s feelings are less important than her safety.

In the exam room, Terra learns that all is going well. She also wants to eat her placenta. So…there’s that! As Tonya forces the vomit back down her throat, Terra and her doctor openly discuss the benefits of placenta encapsulation (making the placenta into capsules) or raw-dogging it all the way. That is, taking home one’s placenta in a zip lock bag of sorts, I assume? “You can tell I’m an old b*tch because this is some new age sh*t!” laughs Tonya.

On a more serious note, Terra reports that her right breast has been leaking blood. After a quick examination, the doctor doesn’t think this is a big issue. It’s most likely benign, though Terra worries it might be cancer, which runs in her family.

Little Women: LA recap

Briana and Jasmine are heading over to Tonya’s house to make a casserole for Terra. Briana was reluctant to see Tonya after belly dancing, but agrees to set it aside for Terra’s sake. As they cook, Tonya fills the ladies in about Joe not being there for Terra right now, and about the blood leaking from her breast. They hope she’s okay.

Little Women: LA recap

Oh god no! Conversation moves on to Tonya’s comments about Briana, which she’s still licking her wounds over. Tonya apologizes for hurting her feelings, though she basically stands by her statements. Briana reluctantly accepts. But wait! No one is paying attention to Jasmine’s SUPER SPECIAL feelings! So she gets all up on Tonya, basically fishing for her apology next.

Tonya has no time for this thirsty wench, basically shutting her down with another It’s not about you! statement. Jasmine will just have to accept that she does not have a dog in this fight. (But she does hate dogs, right? Let’s all focus on that and fight about it for twelve more weeks! Yeehaw! #StorylineFromHell)

Little Women: LA recap

Oh snap. It’s the moment Jasmine has been waiting for since she first donned her 3-inch synthetic lashes on the small screen: Power trip lunch with Christy! As the two ladies sit down, a sheepish Christy – now all but banished from the group – fills Jasmine in on her family’s health issues. Jasmine seems concerned, but snipes from the side that Christy doesn’t seem like herself lately. Christy admits she acted badly at Elena’s birthday party, and she needs to apologize for that behavior. She asks Jasmine if she will help her make peace with the girls? “I mean, I can only help you so much…” trails off Jasmine, who is probably envisioning the HBIC crown being lain atop her head at this very moment.

OK, guys. Yes, Christy is a mess. I think the entire world is clear on that point. And she did indeed act like a lunatic at Elena’s party, especially with the name calling. And choosing Tonya’s photo shoot to trot out Plastic Martyr was not the work of a rocket scientist. She has misstepped again and again. But let’s just pause to reflect on how far Christy has been pushed this season. Terra has been relentlessly gunning for her all season due to the legal action taken last year. Briana cut her out like cancer because Christy was in contact with Briana’s family during her hospital stay (and yes, she may have told them about Matt’s sexting too – but come on! – who does NOT know that he is a world class sack of sh*t by now!? This is not newsworthy.).

Every event Christy’s has shown up to has ended with her being shouted out of the party. And the entire group seems to delusionally think Christy is at the center of Briana’s legal issues with her publicist, despite the actual publicist stating otherwise. They’ve also accused her of drug abuse, something that cuts close to the bone for a woman trying to maintain her sobriety. Oh – and no one will stop calling her damn “Crusty”! Which is degrading, childish, and as vile as the people these little women claim have “bullied” them for years. So, who wouldn’t eventually snap? It’s hard to defend Christy’s actions sometimes. But seriously – enough is enough!

Okay, moving on to happier subjects – babies! Joe has indeed gotten home from his trip in time for Terra’s C-section, which is scheduled for the next day. They review their birth plan, which includes a “one touch spinal.” Terra is very concerned about her and the baby’s health, as all little people are when giving birth. Joe thinks they need to prepare themselves for anything, as every birth – just like every baby – is different.

Little Women: LA recap

After they get situated in the hospital, Terra records a sweet video for the baby to be, and she and Joe get excited about whether this little one will be a boy or a girl. As Terra prepares for sedation, Joe reassures her that it will all be okay. He feels like he’s stronger than ever now that he’s lost weight, and says he wants “to be a better guy” for all of them. Aww. (Tender moment from Joe?! Are we in an alternate universe?!)

During sedation, Terra is hurting and frightened. Joe comforts her while the doctor does his work. Then suddenly – he’s HERE!!! It’s a BOY!!! Healthy baby Grayson joins Terra and Joe with a nice big cry, now making them a family of four. Yay, babies!

But before they can celebrate, things get a bit scary as the doctors work to get Terra sewn back up. Ultimately, it all works out fine though, and Joe is able to move away from his wife to cut Grayson’s cord. Although there’s obviously no genetic testing yet, Joe notes that Grayson looks much different than Penny did at birth. He might be average sized, but they’ll have to wait to see.

The good news now is that Grayson – unlike Penny – will not have to go to the NICU. He can start off the first day of this life right where Terra wants him to: In her arms. 🙂


Photo Credit: Lifetime