On last night’s episode of Southern Charm Savannah, the crew is cleaning up the wreckage from Hurricane Matthew. While they can’t decide what was more devastating–the storm or that dinner party–Happy McCullough and Catherine Cooper are driving around assessing the damage. Happy admits that she was sickened by Nelson Lewis’ defense of his racist comments at the pre-Matthew dinner party, and Catherine is understanding…while giving Nelson Lewis the benefit of the doubt for just being an idiot.
Hannah Pearson‘s three sisters (one of whom is a Maggie Gyllenhaal clone) arrive from Atlanta and Denver for Louis‘ birthday celebration, and they dish on their parents’ divorce and their father’s subsequent random relationships. The split has been hard on the family, but it’s even more taxing now that their father has tasked his girls with bridging a friendship gap between him and their mother. Given the list of his recent dalliances and a description of their evening wear, I’m guessing that bridge is going to be
Nelson is dining with his mother at the Wilkes House, a family style, Southern staple. Over some amazing food, Nelson seeks advice from his mom as to how to repair his relationship with the guys after offending Daniel Eichholz with a racial epithet. Nelson tries to give the details of the epic meltdown, he gets defensive as his mother reminds him to own his behavior and take accountability. He counters that Daniel has offended him a time or two, but his mom asserts that has no bearing on Nelson’s need to be responsible for his actions. She schools him with a smile, and he finally succumbs to a series of “yes ma’ams” (as he should).
OMG, did Bravo just show a quick clip of Ashley Borders working her baggage handler job? Gracious. Across town, Catherine is meeting with style mentor Brandon to pick out some dramatic light fixtures for their client. As they rehash that poor excuse for a dinner party, Brandon jokes that he’s the last one to know about Catherine’s cheating. Ashley may know what’s in their suitcases, but she has no clue about their actual baggage. Across town, Louis and Daniel are downing shots and waiting for Hannah’s sisters. Louis loves hanging with his girlfriend’s sisters, and he feels compelled to keep Daniel at a safe distance from Hattie. Daniel doesn’t need a baby-sitter…he is fully aware that Hannah would saw off his peen with a razor blade if he touched one of her sisters.
That evening, Catherine treats Lyle Mackenzie to a game of mini golf in hopes of distancing themselves from Ashley‘s cheating accusations. She flirts and teases, while Lyle recognizes it takes a certain level of self-confidence to be with someone as outgoing and flamboyant as Catherine. She is always flitting from one guy to the next, but it’s harmless fun, and she is very transparent if she’s not acting this way in his presence. He’s not at all concerned that she’s straying with some dude on the side. At the end of eighteen holes, I’m convinced that Catherine and Lyle are actually a pretty damn good match.
The following day, Hannah and crew are working overtime to prepare for Louis’ oyster roast which is being held at a pretty amazing river front home. As Ashley arrives on land wearing a romper that barely contains her girls, Catherine navigates up to the shindig by boat. As they brave the shallows, the guest of honor makes an appearance. He’s thrilled by the spread, but Ashley quickly points out that the first batch of oysters is rather rank. Hannah should have put a local in charge of the roast. The grown-up party is everything you’d imagine for a twenty-nine year old, complete with barely there bathing suits, beer shot-gunning, and Nelson in the corner blowing up floats. Ashley prances around with her modesty bar, while an awkward Nelson attempts an even more awkward apology to Daniel. Not one to capitalize on watching awkwardness, Lyle pulls up a seat like he’s sitting front row at a matinee. Nelson drones on and on and Daniel lets him squirm for the appropriate amount of time before accepting the apology, and it’s bro-sorries all around.
Catherine and Hannah are talking about the havoc of Matthew when Ashley interrupts to suggest that the trio plan a fund raiser to assist with the clean up efforts…in Haiti. Only she doesn’t say, “Haiti” she says “Hi-Eighty” which is all well and good, but Hannah and Catherine are equally confused. Shouldn’t they be helping with relief in their own backyard? The two quickly back out of the conversation to sneak out on a boat ride with Catherine’s mom after Hannah makes a quick detour to cock block Daniel from one of her sisters. The ladies espouse about fun, age-old traditions for Southern girlfriends, and Catherine shares she’d like to host a bridge night. I can’t play bridge to save my life, but once every two weeks, it was a sacred occasion for my mother and her besties (she was the only transplant), and much joked about in later years when they stopped bothering with cards or scoring and just drank wine and gossiped. My dad still goes once a year to sit in on a “game” with the ladies.
Catherine‘s mother is co-hosting an elaborate bridge tutorial between Big Cat’s established group and Catherine’s group of novices. Everyone is dressed to the nines and excited about something different, but Ashley can’t imagine wasting a night playing cards with a group of snobby women. That said, she’s not going to miss an opportunity to dress up and beat people at their own game…literally. During a quick break, Ashley pulls Hannah out on the veranda to chastise her for wanting to start a dress line. How dare Hannah start a dress line and NOT mention to Ashley she wants to step on her fashion toes. Hannah is so confused as to why she owes Hannah an explanation about what she is pursuing. Happy hears Ashley screaming at her friend, but Catherine urges her to stay out of the drama.
Ashley wants to know why needs to fully disclose her Delta moonlighting, but Hannah hasn’t said a word about wanting to be a fashion designer. Hannah responds that she works for a trucking company and could give two rips about Ashley’s extra income from the friendly skies. Isn’t this tirade against Ashley’s battle cry of women supporting women? Ashley is done being pulled into this negativity (um, didn’t she create it??), and much like every other time she stirs the pot with Hannah, she dumps her trash and retreats. Hannah is understandably confused when Ashley comes right back at her. She’s not leaving this conversation. Ashley accuses Hannah of talking in circles. Again, huh? That’s a whole lot of crazy in a fox stole. Hannah describes the mental ping pong to Catherine as Ashley chains smokes before making a dramatic exit.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DOES ASHLEY HAVE IT OUT FOR HANNAH?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV/SCS