Before we get to the Teen Mom Young and Pregnant recap…I just can’t resist. Can we talk about Teen Mom 2 for just a minute (it’s basically the big sister to this motley crew anyway)? The whole episode is the girls prepping to leave for the reunion show, or there for filming. As they are getting ready, Jenelle is wearing a ‘Bearded Men Only’ tank top. There are also words coming out of her mouth but they really don’t compare to that tank. Its reminiscent of her Pink days and former workout gear she used to sport with Nathan, but now we are into the David Era. Honestly, that tank overshadowed the whole first half of the episode. Also Jenelle, no one else wants David, you’re totally fine.
They all somehow get themselves to California and mill around studios and hotels. At some point, Javi comes to visit Briana who is feeding the baby on the bed. He sits down and they flirt on the hotel bed, which honestly just seems efficient. If they just had all their dates in hotels on beds they could save a lot of time…
Gracie is a mini Leah. This has long been my theory. Gracie is a mini Leah, Ali is a mini Corey, and Addie is a mini Jeremy (also, because Gracie is a mini Leah I think this is why they all think she’s constantly seeking attention and get really annoyed by her. They’re equally as annoyed by Leah.). Watson is the cutest. Briana and Jenelle go back to high school and bond over some word salad.
The shooting of this reunion show managed to bring more drama than the last three unexpected pregnancies combined. And Larry? What did he do in a former life to deserve working with these people? Anyway, there is a lot of prep for filming and Kailyn flips out over needing a private dressing room (with a couch) for the baby and to be away from Jenelle and Briana and Javi. Does anyone else think that Javi and Brittany should have dated? Honestly, I think that would have been a way better match. Also, Briana seems to get exponentially sassier when she has her mom or her sister around to fight her battles (and also raise her children). At some point, Kailyn has to go be a parent when she gets a call that her newborn has been crying for over an hour. Um yeah, you let a stranger take him to a hotel when he’s two months old.
They shoot a party-themed episode along with the TM OG cast. David asks where the beer is and stabs balloons after being told the bar is closed, as you do. A slurry Leah talks to production. Briana (and those hips? What is wrong with them? Can we sue Dr. Miami for those?) come in the room and they have a passive-aggressive discussion. They all come back the next day and Kail and Briana start arguing. (Again, is it the hips? The butt? Saddlebags? It just isn’t right.) Somehow the hair and makeup people keep doing their jobs straight-faced around all the screaming, they are the real unsung heroes.
Anyway, back to the newbies of Teen Mom Young and Pregnant:
Brianna Jaramilo: Remember that awful yelling that we ended last week with? We start this week’s episode with it. Danae needs anger management. Oh and Brianna when you are talking about a baby being in this situation, you are the mother and have a responsibility to not put your child in this situation. Danae storms out after yelling and banging, Brianna and Danae’s mom start to discuss what happens. Danae comes back and, again, clearly needs anger management to help sort out these issues. Danae’s mom is the voice of reason in this whole franchise. Does she give lessons? Can she give lessons? Because she is way better than Dr. Drew. Brianna leaves with her mom and they don’t discuss anything.
Lexi Tatman: Lexi asked a giant potato with the name of Kyler out and he said no. She says she has to pretend like its fine so they can co-parent. Kyler’s mom tries to talk some sense into Kyler. I’m not impressed. Yeah sure, she’s right. But its way too little way too late, and my 17-year-old would not get to look at me with that smirk. I’m just saying.
Jade Cline: Jade is still mad at Sean over skipping the dinner. She picks a fight with him. Is a short-sleeved sweatshirt? I want to apologize, I have realized that I missed the fact that last fight episode Sean was sporting a short-sleeved sweatshirt. I have rules, and a short-sleeved sweatshirt violates them all. Jade says some relationships don’t handle babies well. Sean basically says she is self-centered. They end by again calling each other rude. All this screaming over the head of a brand-new baby has me thinking these two could use some anger management as well.
Ashley Jones: Ashley and Bar are apartment hunting. She reached out to her dad for help. He is apparently going to give her the money for an apartment deposit. They pack up and Ashley and her mom discuss Bar apologizing.
Brianna: Bri is now back in Wisconsin at her mom’s. She is talking to friends and is still referring to the baby as ‘our son’? Brianna is homesick (wasn’t she gone for like a week?) and she misses Danae (don’t we need to make good choices for the baby?).
Kayla Sessler: Stephan apparently used Kayla’s mom’s debit card? How exactly did that happen? Kayla doesn’t correct her mom when she assumes that he watched her put the pin in, I suspect Kayla gave him the number. Her silence seems to scream that there is more to the story. Kayla tells her friend (while getting manicures mind you), that she uses her mom’s card all the time. She further details all the issues between her mom and Stephan. She does admit needing his help with the baby. Honestly, if I were her mother and she had a baby and homeless boyfriend I would be telling her she needs a job and doesn’t get to freeload off of my credit cards. This is what being a teen parent is, you have to work to support yourself not be running out for manicures!
Jade: Jade feels trapped with Sean. She complains about the relationship and the state of the apartment. Jade complains about needing a break but hands the baby to him. They scream. Again, over the head of the baby. I’m ready to be done with this relationship. Also, whenever I look around and say ‘this place is a disaster’ it is usually accompanied by frantic cleaning, Jade just lays down on the bed.
Lexi: Its story time with Lexi’s family as she retells her story about asking Kyler out. Her stepdad advises her to stop letting Kyler call the shots and tells her to stand up for herself and the baby. Why is this the first we are hearing from him? I’m envisioning a special where he and Danae’s mom offer advice to these kids. She can deliver the tough love and start out with some yelling. He can swoop in with that voice and just deliver the punch lines. Let’s have that be the reunion.
Brianna: Brianna is breaking up with Danae over text message. I thought when she left Chicago that would have been the breakup. But I guess not. Danae and his mom go out and discuss the breakup and the fact that Brianna hasn’t shared any updates about the baby.
Jade: Jade kicked Sean out. Her parents are starting to get their act together so they can help with the baby more. Jade goes to get her nails done. What are these girls’ nail budgets? And how do they do diapers with such long nails? These are the things I need to know.
Ashley: Ashley and Bar are hanging out in the apartment. She wants him to apologize to her parents. Bar doesn’t want to. Bar doesn’t feel like he has any responsibility to her parents. Ashley feels that since she hasn’t physically assaulted his mom, which she considers to be a tremendous effort, that he could care about her parents. We’ve seen Shen. Remember Shen? I don’t think she’s wrong. Also, I’m bored so bring back Shen.
Lexi: Lexi’s friends don’t understand what it’s like to be a mom so she goes to a Mommy and Me class. She seems to make a couple friend connections.
Brianna: Brianna and her sister discuss the breakup and trip to Chicago. She claims Danae wanted to stay in Chicago. The clarity of distance has apparently helped her feel secure in the breakup, get a job and her driver’s license.
Kayla: Kayla’s mom doesn’t want Stephan in the house when she’s not there. So Kayla has him there whenever she wishes because as we’ve learned, the rules don’t apply to Kayla (and we’re no longer surprised that she ended up pregnant). Kayla’s mom comes back and calmly tells Kayla she is done with lying and stealing. Kayla acts like a sullen teenager and says she doesn’t want to have this conversation. Stephan comes in with cash and gives a flippant apology. Stephan tries to redirect the attention to himself. It then just devolves to screaming. Kayla basically does nothing and we end with her standing there in a mid-drift sweater.
Ashley: So Ashley uses her dad as an ATM for the apartment down payment and then demands presents as he walks in the door. Convenient and no surprise really. They rehash Bar. Speaking of, he wants more time but does want to make amends with her parents.
Kayla: Kayla wants Stephan to apologize. Honestly, she should have just focused on getting him out because then round 2 happens. This time it escalates more quickly. She sits there and does nothing to intervene. I’m just going to say it. Her mother has no control over her. Stephan is a mess and should never have been yelling like he did (again, anger management anyone? Also, this was scary yelling.) but he is a distraction for the fact that Kayla is running that show and her mother lost control a long time ago. Significant because Stephan is going to be gone in like two weeks and Kayla is still going to think she knows it all, as she lives off of mommy’s credit cards, and her mom tiptoes around her own house. Unacceptable, we need Danae’s mom and Lexi’s step-dad to give her some coaching, stat!
It looks like Shen is back next week. Don’t tease us unless you can deliver MTV. We’ve been needing some Shen to shake things up!
RECAP AUTHOR: Jeannie S.
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Photo Credit: MTV