What do you get when half the cast of dress up as Wolverine, a guitarist for ZZ-Top, and Robert DeBarge and then hop into the Mystery Machine for a road trip out to Great Falls? It’s either a stroll through my childhood or the last five minutes of this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac. The ladies are back from France, they’re getting feisty, so let’s just jump into it.
Everyone seems to have a busy day planned. Robyn Dixon is closing on her fixer-upper in Hanover. Monique Samuels gets the breakdown of how the kids did while she was away. Candiace Dillard and her fiancé Chris are working on their wedding bodies with a trainer. Finally, Gizelle Bryant meets up with her hairdresser/ friend, Kal, for lunch.
Kal and Gizelle share their latest gossip. They also decide that when it comes to their love lives, Kal’s a tease and Gizelle follows through. Kal asks about France and Gizelle wows him with her new found language skills. She knows two words for “hi” now! Back to gossip: Gizelle shares that she heard Karen lives in an apartment and not in her Great Falls mansion. She’s just sick of Karen lying. If she could come clean then maybe Gizelle can be her friend again.
Ashley Darby is still unpacking from the trip. She wanted to come back to a happy warm family, but all she got was no kids and a cold Michael. At least her dog was happy to see her! She decides to call her mom. Even though she hasn’t gotten rid of her deadbeat boyfriend, her mom is doing better. They will meet up soon so Ashley can tell her about France.
Out in Great Falls, Karen Huger is meeting with Matt for lunch. While she waits for Matt, she tells us that she and Ray really are having a tough time with his IRS problems, and Gizelle and Ashley attacking her with comments about Erika Lyles and Ray’s dried up penis are not helpful. She says that’s not what friends do and they should be ashamed. Matt finally arrives and I feel nervous for him. Karen cheers him with champaign. Like a spider, she sweetly draws him into her web. Matt has been a hot topic all season, and she tells him that he especially was in France. Matt squirms nervously. Ashley said Matt’s been running his mouth about how Karen doesn’t live in her mansion but instead lives in a townhouse. Matt breaks into nervous giggles. Matt clarifies: when he met Karen, she lived in Ray’s townhome. Karen states that it has been about 24 to 25 years ago. Uh-oh. Bravo has the receipts from the press conference that shows Matt telling Ashley he’s known Karen for 12 years. Whaaa?? Obviously one doesn’t need to be a math whiz to be a Housewife, but she should be able to count to 30. Karen decides to believe Matt. After all, Karen thinks Ashley lies and looks like an idiot.
Crystal, Candiace’s sister drops by for a business meeting. Crystal should be delighted to hear that Candiace says that Crystal is Solange to Candiace’s Beyonce’. Big sisters…amiright? They still want to get the storefront going, and decide to call their bank. Ha just kidding…they call Mommy. First thing out of Mom’s mouth is “How’s Crystal’s weight?” The second thing is “How’s your weight Candiace?” Just…wow. This tells me more about Candiace in one scene than the other 16 episodes put together. Anyway, their mom agrees to fund the enterprise and her role will only be a consultant. It sounds like the storefront enterprise is a go.
Back at Robyn’s investment property, it’s time to bust down a few walls! She wants to do it right and make the most profit possible, so she’s called in a crew to help. She has her real estate advisor who is in a suit, Gizelle who is in shorts, and Ashley who is wearing 3-inch suede boots. This goes about as well as you’d expect. They make a one square foot hole in the wall and call it a day.
They celebrate their success with champagne out of individual sized bottles in the front yard. The discussion turns to Karen. They call her a liar and Robyn says just once she would like Karen to say her life is a mess. Then they could move on. Hold on a second. At the beginning of the season, Karen actually did call Robyn and for hours said exactly that. Then Robyn took her confidences and ran wild with them all over Potomac. It’s one thing to not believe Karen, but in my humble opinion, Karen doesn’t owe them the truth. Maybe she owes us, the viewers, who have gone through this journey with her for nearly five months the truth. But I stand by not owing it to Robyn. Just sayin’. Somehow they decide in the name of friendship they will dress up in costume and drive all the way out to Great Falls to deliver a pizza to Karen and once and for all know the truth.
Out in Great Falls, Karen is setting the table for six. The table looks beautiful with linen napkins and fancy plates. As she’s making it special, Karen tells us when she gives people her truth, just accept it and move on. Don’t twist everything and call it a lie. Karen lives in her house, but she doesn’t invite the likes of Ashley over for dinner. The house is large, beautiful, and seems very lonely. Karen sits down at one of the settings on her table and eats her lunch alone.
Ashley takes lunch, wine, and flowers out to visit her mom in the new apartment. She still lives with the deadbeat, but Ashley swears she’s doing better. They talk kids and Michael’s disinterest in having any more. Ashley tells her about what Michael had said about her mothering skills and how he doesn’t want Ashley to be the same bad mom. She’s stunned silent, and Ashley does seem pretty mean to be telling her this. Ashley defends herself by saying she’s done sugar coating things for them. Her mom’s theory is similar to her uncle’s. Michael married her for Ashley looks and hot bod. He doesn’t want a kid to mess that up. Then her mom reminds Ashley that Michael’s not exactly father of the year, and really the entire conversation is a hot mess that I want to fast forward through, so let’s move on.
Karen, Monique, and Candiace meet at the Capitol Harvest Festival. Karen likes to hang with these two because they’re messy but in a good way. Candiace says that after the wedding she really wants to live independently. Monique tells her to focus on what is important which is making the relationship work. After you say “I do” the real work begins and marriage isn’t all sunshine and rainbows! Candiace’s biggest fear is that she’ll end up divorced like her parents. She knows she’s been more focused on the wedding than Chris and that’s not good.
A pizza is delivered to Gizelle’s house. Robyn and Ashley arrive and they get into their costumes. They look…ridiculous. Gizelle seems to think a simple Jheri curl is going to keep her incognito. Ashley is wearing a combo of Wolverine and Catwoman. And Robyn…oh dear, what can I say? She’s a mess from head to toe and how did Gyzelle talk her into wearing the man jeans and beard? Robyn drives them out to Great Falls while Ashley eats Karen’s pizza. Gizelle is getting nervous that neighbors may well shoot the three of them and this is a valid concern. They arrive at the house and Gizelle tells Robyn to go ring the bell. NO! It’s Gizelle and Ashley’s idea! They have to go with her.
Robyn sneaks to the door, pizza box in hand. She thinks that the others are right behind her, but as soon as she climbs the steps Ashley and Gizelle make like trees and leave, laughing hysterically. I mean, I get it. I laughed like that once when my friends and I TP’d Shawnda Bismark’s house in junior high. I wonder if Karen will take it any better than Shawnda’s mom did. It looks like next week’s finale should be explosive.
Recap Author: Dana S.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ASHLEY, GIZELLE AND ROBYN’S PIZZA DELIVERY ANTICS? DO YOU THINK KAREN LIVES IN THAT MANSION OR IS IT JUST FOR SHOW DURING FILMING OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV