Last night’s three hour episode of 90 Day Fiance Before The 90 Days , was very telling, to say the least. I guess none of these people every heard the saying, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I think all of the couples, were shown a hand, it’s up to them whether they play it. For some, it may be time to run as far as they can. But we know this shit show is the lives of the desperate and delusional, there is no way they will do anything rational. Grab your favorite snack and let’s get down to business.
Darcey Silva has a surprise visitor. David refuses to give up on Lana. Ed Brown confronts Rose about her sister. Avery Warner attends Ash Naeck‘s seminar looking for answers. Stephanie Matto and Erika Owens try to reconnect. Yolanda Leak receives more news about Williams. Let’s get straight into the recap!
Ed, 54 (San Diego) & Rosemarie, 23 (Philippines)
Ed takes Rose on her first airplane ride masked as a special trip. We all know he only wants to to get away from her windowless hovel for father free sexy time. As soon as they arrive at the hotel, Ed’s first point of business is presenting Rose with a sexy teddy and bathing suit. He further sets the mood by giving her toothpaste and a toothbrush in hopes of getting rid of her “not pretty” breath before asking her to try on the teddy. Of Rose is insulted and informs him her breath comes from an issue with an ulcer. No one would guess he was silently suffering as much as he is in her face asking for kisses. First her legs were too hairy, now her breath is a problem too. Does Ed know Rose is a human and not a sex doll he can customize?
Ed attempts to redeem himself with a fun outing to see monkeys after insulting Rose earlier. Ed is so terrified of the cute monkey who stole his banana that Rose has to calm him down. This man is scared of literally everything, if it isn’t some form of pampering. I wish he was more fearful of a jar of mayo because that hair looks like a greasy mess every time I see it.
Back at the hotel, Ed surprises Rose with a romantic dinner to ask her some serious questions. He wants to know whether she was aware of her sister asking him for money. Personally, that would have been one of my first questions, before spending any additional time or money on the relationship. Ed believes its possible Rose was in cahoots with her sister and this is part of a larger scheme against him. Rose vehemently denies any knowledge of her sister’s actions. She is also hurt and offended that he would suspect her. Ed quickly back tracks and says he is now 100% sure that she wasn’t involved. However, he does request to confront Rose’s sister together.
Ed calls one of his friends to get some advice about how to tell Rose he doesn’t want to have any more children. She already has one son, but hopes to have two more children with him. Ed already has an appointment scheduled to get a vasectomy, so that is not happening. His friend advises him to come clean before he proposes to her.
Avery, 32 (Seattle) & Ash, 38 (Australia)
Ash and Avery are finally returning home after their short getaway when he receives the news his ex-wife, Sian has agreed to meet Avery. This should be interesting given Avery’s penchant for interrogations and Ash’s attempts to cover things up. Avery is already catching on that everything with her long distance love may not be what it seems. Avery has been asking more questions about his relationship business, trying to figure out if he is giving the illusion that he is single.
Avery finally has the chance to observe Ash interact with clients at one of his relationship seminars. Of course, there is no one there but women. Ash looks like the hulk about to bust out of his blazer in Avery’s skinny jeans as he speaks to single women about finding a man. Let’s just say, no one in the room is impressed, not even Avery. Things get very tense when it becomes obvious Ash is completely out of his league. He doesn’t seem well informed on the topic and is a HORRIBLE speaker. Ash even loses his train of thought multiple times and has to walk out when he gets frustrated. Clearly he is accustomed to talking to lovesick women who wants to either feel desired by him or want some type of companionship. Avery gives him a pep talk and Ash returns to peddle more of his sexist rhetoric. Whew, I’ve never seen someone who needed a PowerPoint more than him. The more he talks off the cuff, the more he puts his foot in his mouth. At the conclusion of the meeting, Avery is completely rethinking their relationship.
After the disaster disguised as a class, Avery confronts Ash about his views about gender roles. He becomes very defensive as she challenges his thoughts. I don’t know who in their right mind would pay Ash to teach them anything. Ash completely walks away when he realizes Avery is buying his BS and won’t let the topic go. SMH…
Darcey, 45(Connecticut) & Tom, 39 (England)
Darcey has blocked all communication from Tom Brooks and is trying to move past her heartbreak after their embarrassing break up. Tom on the other hand, is not done with his 15 minutes of fame and is on his way to her house to speak to her. Supposedly he is regretful about their last encounter and wants to fix things. Is this dude insane? If you met with me to tell me I gained weight and throw in my face you were already dating someone else after ignoring my calls for a period of time, there would be no words left to say. When Tom arrives Darcey is completely shocked, but she isn’t falling for his bullshit. When he attempts to give her a letter he wrote expressing his feelings, she declines and slams the door in his face. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I only wish she would she would have shut the door sooner. Did he really believe that she was just going to fall to her knees grateful for his presence? Tom clearly wants to prance around the screen as much as possible to show off his weight loss. Guess what jerk, you are only two crumpets away from blowing right back up! The viewers also aren’t stupid enough to believe the nice guy act after you met with Darcey the first time just to embarrass her.
Geoffrey, 41 (Knoxville, Tenn.) & Varya, 30 (Russia)
Varya Malina is questioning whether she is making the right decision by continuing her courtship with Geoffrey Paschel after he revealed his secret past. Her mother and brother certainly aren’t fans of the man who they believe could possibly still be selling drugs.
Geoffrey is taking Varya to meet one of his Russian friends on a camping trip. I find it interesting that Geoffrey met this man 5 years ago in Cancun and has maintained a friendship, despite the language barrier. She is willing to give things a chance, but isn’t sure about their future. Translation: if he can’t prove his finances and whisk her away from that prison she calls a house, she is out. While Geoffrey heads to the bathroom with his handy shovel and toilet paper, his friend Igor, takes the opportunity to get to know Varya and her intentions better. When Geoffrey returns Varya is looking at him with new eyes. Varya, please stop trying to act like this is more than a way to score a green card.
Stephanie, 29 (New York) & Erika, 24 (Australia)
Stephanie has been in Australia for one week and she and Erika have been arguing almost every day. Erika asks Stephanie to meet with her at the botanical gardens after the disastrous party with her friends. When the two meet things are awkward and Erika states she is surprised Stephanie left the party. Ummm what????? What was she supposed to do when you began ignoring her and then crying to your friends about how horrible she is? I really can’t deal with watching two people play the victim constantly, it’s draining. Just break up already! Unfortunately, these two have decided to give things another shot, despite all of their issues.
Things seem to be back on track after their heart to heart. Stephanie is attempting to step out of her comfort zone to just have fun with Erika. Things are definitely progressing because Erika is now ready to come out to her parents and formally introduce Stephanie as her girlfriend. She is hoping that Stephanie will work on the courage to do the same soon. I’m just glad we get a reprieve from their screaming and crying every day in this episode.
Lisa, 52 (York, Pa.) & Usman “SojaBoy,” 30 (Nigeria)
Lisa Hamme is still confused why Usman Umar ’s mother refuses to give her blessings after she gave her a goat and went inside a mosque. Hmmm… could it be she doesn’t know or trust you? Nonetheless, Lisa and Usman have decided to try one last time to convince her to allow their marriage. Although it is against tradition to allow a younger man to marry an older woman, Mama Usman decides to give her blessings. Usman pretends to be ecstatic, but he is worried about his fiance’s jealous and controlling nature. SMH… Usman, you should have listened to your mother, if Lisa has acted like a raving lunatic throughout this trip, how do you think she will act when you are on her turf?
Days before the wedding, Usman takes his older brother, Mohammed wedding ring shopping. It is not a Nigerian custom to exchange rings, but he wants to blend the cultures and make Lisa happy. He seeks his brother’s advice about Lisa’s anger issues. Usman is told to try to be patient with her. Obviously Mohammed has never seen Lisa when she gets upset.
With only 3 days until their wedding, Usman reveals to Lisa that he isn’t okay with her being the leader of the household. She lets him know in no uncertain terms that she will not play the role of the obedient wife and storms away. Basically she not only intends to lead the household but him as well if he comes to America. RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Usman!!!
Yolanda, 51 (Las Vegas, NV) & Williams, 40 (England)
While taking a walk with two of her children, Yolanda informs them of additional information about Williams. Apparently a woman who is supposed to be a friend of his has reached out to her on Instagram. The woman claims that Williams’s social media page was hacked and that he lost all of his data. Poor Yolanda naively believes this is proof that her precious boyfriend is not a catfish and one day they will ride off into the sunset together. Neither of her kids is buying this story, but hope to find a way to convince their mother she is being scammed.
Yolanda hasn’t heard from Williams’ “friend” since her last message. Her children suggest doing a reverse image search to see if they can find out more information. We will have to wait until the next episode to see if their search yields any new results. I have a feeling this mystery isn’t that hard to crack.
David, 60 (Nevada) & Lana, 27 (Ukraine)
When we last left David he had stalked Lana at what he thought was her address. Much to his dismay, he was greeted by an elderly man who has no idea who David or Lana are. Once again, Lana has thwarted all David’s attempts to meet her. David is left with nothing but another wasted trip and money to meet his dream girl. But he still hasn’t learned his lesson. He admits if she reaches out to him again via the app, he will still talk with her. SMH… Is there no one that can stage an intervention for this man?
TELL US- DO YOU THINK ED WAS WRONG TO TELL ROSE HER BREATH WAS BAD? ARE YOU SURPRISED BY DARCEY’S REACTION TO TOM’S VISIT? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ASH’S SEMINAR AND AVERY’S RESPONSE? ARE YOU SURPRISED MAMA USMAN GAVE HER BLESSINGS? IS THERE HOPE FOR STEPHANIE AND ERIKA?
[Photo Credit: TLC]