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Recaps

Below Deck Mediterranean - Chef Mila Kolomeitseva

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean Chef Mila Kolomeitseva continued to be like a nuke in the ocean. And no one likes nukes for dinner — or anywhere else for that matter!

Here in the beautiful, balmy waters of the French Rivera it’s just your typical family dinner: throw a few TV dinners in the microwave and chow down while watching the sunset on the main deck. At least according to Mila. After first making barf nachos that look like they came from a gas station, Mila mistimed the cooking of the main course steak and figures why not nuke them for a minute or two.

Being a Russian Mila is immune to radiation poisoning, so she puts her face right up to the doors to watch them cook second by second, before dumping them on a plate and ordering Anastasia Surmava to “Go” deliver them. Hannah Ferrier is appalled, alarmed, in a right strop – a full spectrum of emotions over what she just witnessed. Actually of that is an understatement. Hannah was actually shocked into silence carrying these plates of radiation ribeye.

90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After Season Premier Recap: Into the Lion’s Den

On last night’s episode of 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After, Pedro Jimeno enjoyed his last night of freedom before his wife Chantel Everett arrived in the Dominican Republic. Apparently, both Pedro and Chantel suffer from the same affliction: sharing all of their marital business. Obviously, they don’t seem to understand they are shaping a negative perception of their spouse to EVERYONE. You can’t only tell people only the bad things happening in your life.

Chantel is on her way to the Dominican Republic to ruin join Pedro’s trip. Despite, not wanting his wife to come, he still greets her with flowers and a balloon at the airport. His face tells the true story. He annoyed with her very presence. On the way to the hotel, Pedro tells her he had the best week of his entire life. Without her. I guess meeting his wife or getting married isn’t even in the running.

RHOP Karen Huger Real Housewives Of Potomac

The drama on The Real Housewives of Potomac was at an all time high on last week’s episode. Karen Huger declined to go out with the ladies, leaving everyone confused. She chose to go “live” on Instagram rather than spend time with the other women. Grief makes you do crazy things I suppose!

In addition to the Karen drama, Ashley Darby confronted Candiace Dillard regarding comments about her fertility journey. Despite Ashley saying she was staying sober to get pregnant, she’d been drinking quite a lot in New Orleans. This did NOT sit well with Candiace. Tonight is sure to pick up where we left off with Ashley and Candiace at each other’s throats.

Sonja Morgan RHONY Real Housewives Of New York

This show I tell you. The Real Housewives Of New York ladies know how to do it right. Every episode is like going to an all you can eat buffet.

Only on Real Housewives Of New York can you have a drunken collapse over an argument about cabaret turn into political commentary on the last time Sonja Morgan probably felt relevant. Which flows into competing artists giving out free art and Ramona Singer inviting her ex-husband and new boyfriend to a party, then being forced to admit to making out with her former friend’s ex-husband in front of another friend who also hooked up with this same guy. 

Southern Charm Recap:

Last night we were treated to the first half of a tw0-part Southern Charm which answered A LOT of questions I never wanted nor needed to know. At all.

The charmers are getting ready for their day, and Patricia Altschul is concerned that her hairstylist is somewhat distracted. It seems Madison LeCroy has given Ms. Pat an unfortunate Kathryn Dennis-esque type poof. Whatever could be her issue? Only Austen Kroll knows for sure! Chelsea Meissner is the only one working, and some dude drops off a surfboard for Shep Rose prior to the aging frat boy’s haircut appointment.

Craig Conover’s penchant for laziness and lounging hungover in hoodies must be contagious because Austen has been afflicted. Over burritos and beer, Austen laments about the downfall of his relationship with Madison. He’s embarrassed to admit to his friends that he still in love with a girl who tried to slide into his friend’s boyfriend’s DMs. She seems so sweet and innocent given the fact that she’s only had three boyfriends in her lifetime. Craig teases that she probably had so few relationships because the rest of the guys never responded to her on Instagram. Craig has jokes!

Texicanas Recap: Birthday Bashing

On last night’s episode of Texicanas, the events didn’t stop and neither did the drama. Mayra Farret just resolved her issues with Luz Ortiz, only to be caught up in another fight. Will she be able to put her pride to the side to mend a friendship? Or will these close friends become enemies?

Lorena Martinez visited Mayra to discuss her upcoming birthday party. The day of the event, Mayra’s perfectionist OCD goes into overdrive. I must admit, she did an outstanding job given she only had 36 hours to pull everything together. While there, Anayancy Nolasco reveals she met with Mayra’s contact for her nonprofit behind her back. Mayra is not happy that she has been left out considering she suggested initially the meeting. Ugh… I swear the smallest things are dramatized. Anayancy doesn’t strike me as someone who is well versed in social etiquette. Also, she should have simply told Mayra she doesn’t need her help if she didn’t want her involved. Anayancy feels like Mayra only wants to be involved so she can take credit for connecting her with everyone. That may be true, but I would have simply just told her I want to try to do it alone.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Denise Richards

Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills organized themselves around a new enemy, because that is the point of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills now. It has been for a few seasons! Someone is the target, and the rest of the women shield exposing their real lives by focusing their collective effort on how terribly they’ve all been wronged by this one person for some basically meaningless infraction. It’s tabloids in the suitcase, it’s stories in the tabloids no one reads….

Ever since Kyle Richards realized that the Twisted Sisters Richards would be the undoing of everything she has worked so hard to escape, she has become champion number one of this plan. She will literally hang Kim Richards out to dry by pinstriped suspenders and let Lisa Rinna call her “c–nty” than avoid getting mired down in the type of personal muck that could lift the giant felted wool hats right off to reveal whatever Kyle is hiding.

It will be interesting to see how Camille Grammer fares when faced with this – if it ever comes to pass given that the California Wildfires interceded in the cast trip, and Camille decided against attending the reunion. 

90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way Season Premiere Recap: All In The Name Of Love

On the series premiere of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, we met four of the six Americans who will be moving out of the country for love. The show definitely has an interesting twist considering its premise is the opposite of the original series. Don’t worry; although they won’t be America, the cast still has the same amount of crazy we have come to love. This has disaster written all over it and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will uprooting pay off? Or will they be running home brokenhearted? Buckle up folks. This shit show is just getting started.

Jenny, a divorced grandmother is pursuing love in India. Originally, she thought she was talking to an English hottie, named Michael Jones. Only to find out she was being catfished by her future love, Summit. Ummm…. Someone make it make sense! You always see people like this on Dr. Phil, but never up close and personal. This man pursues you as someone else and when he reveals himself, you not only continue to date him, but decide to leave the country?????? Okay, this show definitely has promise. I can already see the cray unfolding. Jenny is emotional retrieving her visa from the mail. I hope her dream comes true, I really do.  But the realist in me screams… your bank account will be empty before you can finish your butter chicken. Ma’am, you are too old, to be this naive. SMH…