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Recaps

Real Housewives Of Atlanta - Eva's Bachelorette Party

Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta ended their trip to Tokyo with some tears, but plenty of laughs. I never thought we’d see a Real Housewives trip end without a major blowout fight. However, it turns out pickles make people laugh, they make people love, and they make people forget all their rude thoughts! More pickles for the reunion, Andy Cohen!

Over in Japan Dennis McKinley is missing Porsha Williams so much he sends her a bouquet of flowers that looks like the vegetation in a Super Mario Brothers game from the 90’s.

This so-called arrangement was a hot mess that was bursting out of its box – just like Porsha’s boobs were bursting out of her top. Some mad science definitely was being used to keep those things taped. She was one sneeze away from an explosion. NASA has better things to do, y’all! 

Celebrity Big Brother Recap Episodes 10 & 11: Chaos Reigns

If you are a fan of Tom Green, then you most likely were thoroughly entertained by Celebrity Big Brother these past few days! When we last left off, Tom Green was just left shell-shocked after the surprise eviction of his best pal, Kato Kaelin. Tom was convinced that it was he who would be sent packing. The next few days that followed would put Tom on a whirlwind tour of Celebrity Big Brother, from bottom to top and back around again…ending in a live double-eviction episode this past Friday that sets the stage for the Celebrity Big Brother Finale that’s coming Wednesday, Feb 13th.

As I always state up-front – and much like my Survivor column for this very same outlet – what I plan to bring you this season isn’t exactly a blow-by-blow “recap” of the show.  Instead, this includes my thoughts, analysis, and reaction to the episode (or episodes) that we just witnessed. In other words, I’ll assume that you’ve seen the episode(s) each time. So please, please, PLEASE, if you do not want to have the show spoiled, don’t read any further until you’ve seen the episode(s)!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Love After Lockup Recap: Wife On The Run

If we thought Clint was going to come to his senses this week, then we – and the judicial systems of Texas and New Mexico – thought wrong. But, hey, we still have two more weeks of Love After Lockup to find out where Tracie is buying her mothaf*cking crack holing up, and just how much more dignity Clint is willing lose on national TV. So, like the cat posters in our high school guidance counselor’s office suggest: Hang in there!

While Clint is being counseled on the ways of the world by a man who he’s hired to track Tracie down, Caitlin tries to school Matt on how life works. It goes something like this: You grow up, you get a job, you pay for things. Matt has no idea how to accomplish one of these tasks, let alone all three.

lil-fizz

Last night on Marriage Boot Camp: Hip Hop Edition, Tiffany Campbell confronted Lil Fizz about his relationship with Nia Riley. She is very unhappy with how cozy the picture of him and Nia appears. Lil Fizz claims they are just friends, but is also extremely defensive when questioned. At this point, I don’t even know why it matters. This has man has done everything, besides putting it on a billboard, to show Tiffany he has no real interest in her. Her questions would be valid if they were in a relationship, but given their circumstances, it should just be another reason to move on. Is Nia interested in Fizz as more than a friend?

Tiffany continues to grill him on Nia. She wants to know how many times have they hung out. Lil Fizz tells her people have always been there when they have seen each other. She is upset that Nia has been around his son and she hasn’t. Fizz tells her to get over it and find someone who isn’t a public figure. He is tired of people asking him about Nia when she is in a relationship. She asks Nia directly and her story is different. At this point, who cares? They are not in a relationship and he doesn’t seem to ever want to be in one. His contempt for her practically leaps off the screen.

season-finale

Last night on Floribama Shore was the group’s last week in the shore house. It’s finally time for them all to say goodbye. This season we have seen a lot of drunken nights, hookups, stalking, and fights. With Jeremiah Buoni’s brother in town, I wonder if Nilsa Prowant will fall for him again. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen since he completely played her last summer.

Jeremiah’s brother, Josh, finally arrives at the house. The douche bag level goes up to a thousand with his arrival. Josh tells the crew that he is getting laid tonight. Josh clearly knows attention is Nilsa’s kryptonite because begins complimenting her. Little does she know what he was just saying about her outside.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Had you been waiting with bated breath like me for last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey? All week I pondered who would prevail in the battle of Envy by Melissa Gorga and Jennifer Aydin’s tacky Chanel. Frankly, I wouldn’t put my money on either of them to throw down after Margaret Josephs doused Danielle Staub with Dolores Catania’s wine, but crazier things have happened in Cabo! Also, I appreciate the RHONJ’s producers for giving us a “to be continued” episode last week. What’s that old saying? People in garish houses shouldn’t throw glass? Jennifer gets in Melissa’s face, and Melissa quickly retreats. Dolores steps in to intimidate Jennifer, and Danielle intervenes. No matter how much Danielle hates Dolores, she respects her ability to beat Jennifer’s monkey’s ass lip liner.

Dolores takes a walk to cool off. Margaret confides in Jackie Goldschneider about how disappointed she is in Teresa Giudice’s behavior. She thought they were friends. Why is Teresa condoning Danielle (and subsequently Jennifer’s) abhorrent behavior? Teresa chases down Melissa who is disgusted by her sister-in-law’s loyalty. Dolores approaches to second Melissa’s assertions. Tre is peeved by their statements while Melissa and Dolores find Jackie and Margaret to share what escalated. At the bar, Teresa, Jennifer, and Danielle defend their actions. At least Teresa tries to show Jennifer the error of her ways…sort of.

Below Deck - Season 6 Reunion Cast

Last night we officially sent the cast of Below Deck on their final charter and we waved farewell with Tahitian flower crowns in our hair. Don’t I wish! Actually far from sunsets, the entire affair took place in the dark, sordid Watch What Happens Live clubhouse, with the disco’d up cast perched on uncomfortable stools which are clearly the castoffs from one of Lisa Vanderpump‘s collaborations with Nick Alain gone wrong!

First off Andy Cohen clears the suspense by stating that Caroline Bedol and Chandler Brooks won’t be joining them. That statement made it pretty much apparent that the reunion would be boring as everyone else was BFF by the time the season ended. Several of them are still close friends today!

Seriously, though, I had forgotten Caroline and Chandler were even on the show this season was so busy. Other than Rhylee Gerber they were the sole sources of drama in the first half of the season. 

Kate-at-housewarming

On last night’s episode of Married at First Sight, the couples entertain and meet each other’s friends for the first time. This proves to be stressful for one couple in particular. Number one enemy of the fans, Luke Cuccurullo continues his mistreatment of Kate Sisk. The party quickly became a shy person’s worst nightmare. Kate looks more like a guest than a hostess in her own house. I thought after Pastor Calvin Roberson lit into spoke to Luke, things may have changed. Ugh… will this man ever grow up and stop making this woman feel totally insecure? Will Kate decide to win over her guests or fold under the pressure?

The couples wake up as husband and wife after their first night at their new homes. Keith Dewar and Kristine Killingsworth reveal that they finally had sex. I found it shocking that Keith admitted it was quick. Hmm… you may want to keep that to yourself. They both feel like they could be falling in love with one another.