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Danica Dow

Vanderpump Rules Tom Sandoval Ariana Madix Jax Taylor Brittany Cartwright

Ugh – I am losing my patience for “Jax Taylor‘s show.” Jax needs to get off his high – very, very <snort, snort> high horse, and take Lisa Vanderpump‘s advice to “SHUT UP.” Lala Kent needs to come down with him. I do not need to see this jump off, with a face so inflated with fillers she looks like a balloon, tell anyone how to live. So are the days of Vanderpump Rules when the most awful people sanctimoniously judge others.

So much chaos in a zoom reunion. Even more so than in a regular old ‘on the stage’ reunion. The best though t’was Lisa chastising Andy Cohen for essentially showing up in his sweats. At the very least he could put on a low-cut satin blouse!

Jax and Tom Sandoval are rocking some serious facial hair. Is it like some sort of sign that they’re going to fight? Like they will start by throwing chairs at their computer screens, then throw the actual computers, then mutually run out their neighboring homes, race across the street and start brawling in the front lawn until they’re ticketed for breaking quarantine?

Jax Taylor Brittany Cartwright Vanderpump Rules reunion

The Vanderpump Rules Season 8 reunion kicks off tonight. Andy Cohen meets with the many Vanderpump Rules cast members via video chat to dish on the most interesting moments of the season and to drop some truth bombs about some tea none of us knew about.

Of course, we will see Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval’s feud play out, for the 100th time. And, most likely, they’ll be “best friends” again next season. However, I’m sure they’re gonna revisit the “pre-bachelor party” drama and the dueling pool parties.

Scheana Marie Explains Why She Still “Works” At SUR & Why She Enjoys New Cast Members Added To Vanderpump Rules

This season of Vanderpump Rules is just so strange. There are too many cast members to keep track of and two distinct groups. The one person who bridges the gap between the new cast members and the long-time cast members is Scheana Marie. For some reason, she’s still “working” at SUR, even though she’s an original cast member with some successful side hustles.

However, she arguably gets the most screen time out of all of the cast members, so, apparently she’s doing something right… even if that something is just wearing a SUR uniform while she says embarrassing things.

Jax Taylor Brittany Cartwright Vanderpump Rules reunion

The virtual reunion is going well on Real Housewives of Atlanta. It will be interesting to see how things play out on Vanderpump Rules since there are 17,830 cast members, some of which are couples. So now there are a dozen little squares. Some of them have two people in them because of the couples on this show. Oh, boy. This sounds like such a logistical nightmare to film. Let’s just hope it’s enjoyable to watch.

In the trailer, Scheana Marie asks “Who’s gonna be the first one to cry?” Most likely, that’s Scheana herself. However, we do see Brittany Cartwright wailing, “This is one of the hardest times I had to go through in my f*cking life.” What is she even talking about? Is she talking about her wedding and pre-wedding events that took over the season? Aren’t those events supposed to be happy? If she’s shouting over her wedding, I swear…..

Kristen Doute also yells “My life is none of your business.” That is most likely about her ex [Brian] Carter. Especially since right after that we see Stassi Schroeder say, “You’re a liar,” which is a sentiment she’s shared about Kristen many times over.

Vanderpump Rules Season Finale

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules finale truly felt like it was the end of an era. And I’m ready to send Jax Taylor off into the abyss, where surely he will go after yelling in Lisa Vanderpump‘s face that this is ‘his show’. Lisa has already endured that type of malarky with Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills so she’ll certainly not put up with it from underling upstarts living in Valley Village (ahem.. Brandi!)

Tom 1 and Tom 2, by compression, are now well on their way to being restaurant moguls after signing onto the expansion of Tom Tom. They are moving into adulthood (finally!), while Jax, don’t bother blessing his cold dead heart, isn’t moving at all. He’s trapped in a fishbowl of his own drool, constantly regurgitating his own nonsense.

Jax can pretend all he wants that he’s tired of Tom 1, but what Jax is really tired of is Tom 1 being successful. Tom and Jax came up together as bartenders at SUR. For most of Vanderpump Rules Jax’s drama has driven things; yet it is Tom who was given the nudge by Lisa.

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor

Well, hell hath surely frozen over and the next thing we’ll be celebrating on Vanderpump Rules is an ice skating party because I actually liked Katie Maloney this episode. Hold me – I am fainting from the vapors!

At least I’m reassured that the constant is my complete and utter disgust of Jax Taylor! Accidentally taking a bite of that moldy lasagna found in the back of your fridge during a dunk binge eat is more desirable!

After Jax went on a rage-text tirade and uninvited everyone from his pool party (like anyone wanted to go to begin with) Tom Sandoval decided to host his own party for the rejects. Unfortunately the list of rejects grew and grew until it was revenge of the rejects with Tom and Ariana Madix winding up with an amazing party while Jax and Brittany Cartwright had one of the sad little get-togethers you see at the end of an HGTV House Hunters episode when the couple claims they “LOVE” to entertain.

Lala Kent Names Vanderpump Rules Cast Members She’d Hate To Quarantine With

Lala Kent has had a lot to say about her Vanderpump Rules castmates this season. She’s been battling against Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix in the press. He said Lala wasn’t a good friend to Ariana. Lala clapped back and she’s been shading them both ever since. During the season itself, Lala was unnecessarily cruel to Raquel Leviss on multiple occasions, but it seems like they’ve made up at this point. She’s also thrown some cheap shots at Scheana Marie, calling her a “slutty JoJo Siwa” because of her crop top and high ponytail.

On top of all that, she has been consistently vocal about her dislike for the new cast members who joined the show this season. Thank god for her private jet access. Otherwise, she might not have any friends in the cast.

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor

This season seems to be a reckoning on Vanderpump Rules. A washing the slate clean to prepare for the new and fresh, and the people getting hit the hardest are Jax Taylor and Scheana Marie. I welcome this.

For some bizarro reason Max Boyens hosts a beach clean-up at a public beach that gets regularly cleaned by the city. Then, because this makes total logical sense, everyone who shows up is swilling wine out of plastic solo cups. Erm. Look – I get it, they need to give Max something to DO besides women, but how about we get a little more filler about his backstory? Like who is this guy other than the person who’s presumably replacing Jax as the Number 3 guy in the TomSquared concoction.

Speaking of Jax, he does not attend because he it’s ridiculous to have to drive “4 hours,” polluting the environment to clean up a beach. He’s not wrong, but of course Brittany Cartwright is there. They could’ve taken the car pool lane, y’all!