Lala was offended that Billie implied they were transphobic and she wouldn’t hear anymore. She yelled at Billie, “You’re dismissed!” To which Billie clapped back, “You’re not f*king better than everyone because you have a rich boyfriend, Lala!” The shade was intense. And according to Billie, the animosity still going strong.
Batten down the hatches because after a few weeks of in hiding Krazy Kristen Doute has returned in full splendor on Vanderpump Rules. Solvang? Or So Insane? Kristen wasn’t the only one Solvagning problems though – Jax Taylor and James Kennedy both went to therapy, but not together. Although they probably should.
It’s the day after the inaugural TomTom party and Lisa Vanderpump hasn’t had a hangover since 1985, aka before Tom 1 and Tom 2 were born… Oh, wait: everyone on this show is pushing 40, which makes them older than me. And they’ve definitely given LVP enough headaches to quantify as a hangover.
The Toms are overjoyed with their first event. They were ready to spread the doors wide to the public at large. Tom 2 wants a gold star on his chore chart.
Lisa reminds them that there’s no gas (or ice). James was spinning records in the utility closet sitting on 2 Costco mega-packs of Charmin Double Ply.
Tonight on Vanderpump RulesLala Kent rewards the girls for no longer calling her a whore by taking them on a private jet to Solvang Wine Country.
Of course, since this is Vanderpump Rules, aka NeverNeverLand for drunken delusionoids, Kristen Doute acts up and embarrasses everyone. Of course hinging your life’s worth on a private jet is embarrassing enough so I can’t imagine how bad Kristen must be!
Do you remember the first couple seasons of Vanderpump Rules? During simpler times, the show’s premise centered around wait staff and bartenders working at SUR while they auditioned for acting, modeling, and music jobs. The reality show became a hit and now they’re pretty much just professional reality TV stars. In other words, they get paid to hang out with the people they’ve been friends with for years. Oh, and they all endorse the same sunglasses, hair vitamins, and teeth whiteners on Instagram.
At this point, they’ve pretty much all abandoned their attempts at artistic endeavors. Well, James Kennedy is still working as a DJ at random bar events. And then there’s Scheana Marieand Lala Kent who took that acting class where they faked orgasms. Now, Lala is putting her acting chops to work again. This time, without Scheana.
It’s no secret that the Vanderpump Rules cast members are obsessed with their appearance. Viewers have seen Tom Sandoval shave his forehead. Ariana Madix got laser hair removal on her hoo-ha. Lala Kent went in for a booty smoothing procedure. Let’s not forget the plastic surgery, like Brittany Cartwright’s breast augmentation or Jax Taylor’s three nose jobs (which somehow all came out looking exactly the same).
Out of all of the cast members, however, Scheana Marie holds the crown on being the most obsessed with herself her looks. The selfie-worshiping Pump Rules star is notorious for only taking photos from her “good side.” Oh, and also for hanging up giant photos of herself on the walls of her home. So, what work did Scheana get done this time?!
On last night’s Vanderpump Rules TomTom finally opened its doors in the frantic, frenzied, disastrous way you’d expect from Tom 1 and Tom 2.
Welcome to Mr. Tom’s Wild Ride – first stop the deluxe modern apartment of one DJ James Kennedy, who will have his reintroduction into SURciety by being the inaugural DJ at TomTom. Trust me – it sounds like a much bigger honor than it actually is. With havoc on the homefront and no ice at the bar, Lisa Vanderpump quickly realizes she needs the Toms temporarily distracted. So, she dispatches 5% personal assistants to wrangle menial tasks. Tom 2, as always, drew the short straw and is forced to go discuss the music with James.
As he waits for Tom’s arrival James works on his apology letter to Mandall, the entree nous he needs to get back into Lala Kent‘s homie status. Raquel LeViss is not impressed with James’ labors of Lala-dom.
On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules the teartini is replacing the pumpini, because oh-oooooh: Everybody’s crying!
Jax Taylor is celebrating the last birthday of his 30’s but he’s still fighting with his mom about the way his dad’s cancer was handled. She doesn’t even call him on his special day. As Jax struggles through his first birthday without his parents a flood of emotions come pouring out.
There’s nothing like some mother/child time, right? Kelly Dodd took her daughter Jolie to Phoenix via private jet. How Lala Kentof her! Teen Mom star Jenelle Evanstook the low key route. She just posted a selfie with her baby girl.
Kristin Cavallarishared photos with her children taking care of a baby bird. Shamari DeVoeshared a throwback photo breastfeeding her twin boys. This is probably going to get some attention, because… well, it’s 2019. People are just looking for reasons to be offended these days.