Now that the royal wedding season is officially over on Vanderpump Rules, we can get back to what the cast does best–gossip, drink and throw shade at fellow co-stars. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s drawn-out Ver-Sails extravaganza made me want to decline any future wedding RSVP’s.
Love is still in the air on Vanderpump Rules with the romantic cemetery proposal of Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark later in the season. At least they didn’t have to worry about overzealous fans interrupting their romantic moment! Long-time engaged couple Lala Kent and Randall Emmett had originally planned their wedding for next month, but world events have changed that plan. The coronavirus has upended people’s lives and Lala and Randall are no exception.
Aside from Scheana Marie’s love triangles and Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval’s managerial time at TomTom, most of the Vanderpump Rules cast members have nothing to do with the millions of new people who randomly joined the cast. It honestly feels like we are watching two different shows at the same time.
Lala Kent joined the show in Season 4, so she knows what it’s like to be on the outside of the Pump Rules crew, but she has no sympathy for these new people. Of course, no one is shocked by that, but she does recognize that the show is so disjointed, which many viewers feel these days.
We celebrated Tom Sandoval‘s birthday on last night’s Vanderpump Rules and the theme was being extra. As if this group even has to try! Hey, at least it wasn’t more wedding nonsense.
Ugh – every time I reach a place where I kinda like Lala Kent, she goes and acts like a horrific ego-consuming monster whose such a bitch that I’m right back to wanting to smash cupcakes in her face. Super fattening, gluten-y, sugary cupcakes. Lala is a wench. A worse wench than Stassi Schroeder ever was in her Stasstrocious heyday. Lala is Jax Taylor bad. She’s also a dry drunk. Someone who has treated the symptom, not the disease. Lala reminds me of Kim Richards, formerly of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, now of never-to-be-published salacious memoir because Kyle Richards will tie your ass up in cord for ad infinitum. Which is also how long it will take Lala to realize that she’s a horrible human being who is still secretly in love with James Kennedy.
Anyway, these are my preliminary thoughts on last night’s Vanderpump Rules.
We are finally done with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s wedding, way too many episodes later. Especially when there are thousands of cast members on Vanderpump Rules.
Add Lala Kent and Randall Emmett’s wedding to the list of spring events that have been postponed because of Coronavirus concerns. Watch What Happens Live has suspended production and the Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 12 reunion have been postponed.
Of course, it’s best to be safe and move the wedding at this time, especially since they have the
borrowed funds from 50 cent means to do so. This is absolutely the smart call.
Jax Taylor finally got married on last night’s Vanderpump Rules, metamorphosing from Jax to Jason. Even so Tom Sandoval was the true knight in shining armor. Tom had tampons, tissues, White Claw, vodka, an endless supply of giving and support. What did Jax have besides patchy sideburns and a mistaken understanding that getting married does not allow one legal ownership over your spouses breast implants.
Although how fantastic would it be if Brittany Cartwright threw the removed implants on the table at their inevitable divorce trial?! Which from the mid-season preview seems like it’s coming sooner rather than later. The shelf life of an implant is what – max, 10 years? The shelf life of a marriage to Jax Taylor has to be more like 2.2 years. Maybe 2.4 if there’s an extended separation. And probably more like 1.4 if Vanderpump Rules cameras turn off. Marriage Bootcamp only films for 5 weeks.
Anyhoodle, yes, Jax and Brittany finally finally finally made it down the aisle in the unrelenting sun of a Kentucky summer, leaving their guests to wilt and melt in 96 degree weather without any shade. Except for Tom 1 running around holding out parasols. Add that to his list of positives! After all this Jax only gives Tom 1 a B- or C in the best man performance grade.
We will finally be put out of our misery tonight! We finally get to see Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright get married on Vanderpump Rules tonight! This whole season has been leading up to this wedding and it’s finally here. Praise Mamaw.
Of course, their wedding will have some drama. Kristen Doute and her non-boyfriend [Brian] Carter get into a heated exchange at the reception and most likely end up hooking up after anyway. Stassi Schroeder starts to wonder if she and Beau Clark will ever get engaged. Spoiler alert: they will.