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Randall Emmett

Lala Kent

In the column of things I never thought I would say, Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent’s biological clock is ticking.  And she wants to be a mom sooner rather than later.

Is she sure that’s not just her internal rage ticking away?  Waiting for the moment when someone makes a statement that has her flying off the handle at work.

Vanderpump-Rules-Lala-Kent

Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent has been turned up to eleven all season long. You’d think she would be happy now that she’s an honorary member of the Witches of WeHo. But instead, she’s had one meltdown after the other. And her wrath has been targeted at her former best friend, James Kennedy.

Lala and James used to be inseparable. They genuinely supported each other in their friendship and artistic endeavors. James even kickstarted Lala’s non-existent career as a singer. But times have changed. Now Lala has a non-existent career as an actress. Just don’t say her fiancé Randall Emmett got her there. So, does Lala still support James and his career?

Stassi Schroeder - Vaderpump Rules

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.

Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.

But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?

Raquel Leviss

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.

Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.

Lala Kent

The Vanderpump Rules cast made it clear that their end goal was to become washed up reality TV stars famous actors. So far, the closest anyone got was when Laura Leigh scored a bit part in We’re The Millers with Jennifer Aniston. And that was six years ago.

Now, Lala Kent is the next Pump Rules castmate to break through to the big screen. She recently landed a role in a movie with Al Pacino. Guess Al really needed that check. And Lala wants everyone to know that she earned it all on her own. It had nothing to do with the fact that her sugar daddy fiancé Randall Emmett is a producer on the film. Nothing at all.

Vanderpump-Rules-Lala-Kent

Lala Kent is back in the news. The Vanderpump Rules star is a wannabe actress, current SUR hostess, an adult woman who drinks out of baby bottles. What an enigma! She has risen to the top of the friend food chain by publicly taking her cast mates on jets and privately losing what’s left of her dignity. BJs for PJs, y’all! Sigh, such a beacon of light for women’s rights, that one. While desperately trying to make her hashtag #givethemlalaorwhatever happen, she has been having some real-life struggles.

After the death of her father, Lala began to spiral. Arguments became excessive and drinking became problematic. It really began to seem that the only person Lala liked was Lala. Now we find that there might have been an underlying problem. No, not the one where she calls her fiance Daddy and wears a shirt emblazoned with his face. Courageously, Lala announced she is an alcoholic.

Raquel Leviss

Lala Kent is on an absolute path of destruction this season on Vanderpump Rules. She is demolishing anyone that stands in her way. So far this season we’ve seen her attack James Kennedy, Billie Lee, and poor Raquel Leviss. She seems to especially pick on Raquel who has done nothing more than simply stand by her man. Is wanting to believe in the person you love really that awful?

A lot has changed in Lala’s life recently which could explain the change in behavior. Her altered attitude can be attributed to her father’s death, and going public with Randall Emmett. However, do those things mean she gets a free pass? Has Lala actually changed? Or are people simply jealous that she has a PJ? Thankfully, the Bambi eyed bitch Raquel is shedding a light on Lala’s new attitude.

Vanderpump Rules in Mexico

Considering that the cast of Vanderpump Rules was in Mexico, drinking their pants off (literally), it’s pretty surprising that last night’s episode was mostly mellow and drama-free.

The only drama was drunk Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark cry-whining at each other about their relationship values (aka – when, where and at what time it’s acceptable to get wasted), and Beau is so the guy who wipes his snot with the back of his hand, or the corner of his pillow, instead of using a tissue. And Stassi she is so the type who uses an actual human to wipe her snot and blow her nose on, because people are no better than Kleenex. Like Stassi said, “I never get FOMO,” because in Stassi’s world she causes the FOMO. GET THE MEMO, BEAU!