Speaking of things we have to endure, Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi is back in full effect this episode and she is ready to make amends all over the place. I don’t even know if she understands what she is apologizing for but she plans on throwing those apologies out faster than she can go from belligerent drunk to blackout drunk. GG arrives at Asa’s house to eat some hummus and drink the weird watermelon juice Asa has set out. Note: not diamond water. But Asa is true to her new craft, the overpriced kaftans she wears nonstop, and today is no exception. GG shovels zucchini into her mouth with her talons and tells Asa how skinny she looks, despite Asa’s constant attempts to get GG to notice her baby bump.
One of the biggest and most anticipated season premieres is happening tonight, folks. If you can stand the gratuitous violence and confusing story line, then I would be talking about Game of Thrones. If you can stand the gratuitous ridiculousness and idiotic story line, I’m talking about Shahs of Sunset. SOS isn’t totally devoid of violence either, thanks to Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi and her face clawing ways, you just won’t have to endure quite as much of it since she has apparently learned to meditate this season.
But before we delve into the abyss of GG’s tragic life, we have to drop in on everyone’s favorite sloppy soulmates, Mercedes “MJ” Javid and fiancé Tommy Feight. Yes, they are still together and yes, still engaged. In fact, they have even moved in together and I’m assuming that happened yesterday, by the looks of it. There are boxes, lucite stripper heels and empty bottles of vodka strewn about as MJ’s dog is busy licking the wrapper of a cheese and crackers packet that is discarded on the couch. MJ kicks her dirty feet up and we learn that a filthy apartment isn’t the scariest part of this living situation –it’s the fact that her mother Vida lives in the same complex. As in, she can look down from her tower of misery and see MJ’s place.
Back to back nights of reunion specials are always a little much and that couldn’t be truer than with the Shahs of Sunset. It’s just a lot to handle and I think most of us can agree that we need the Shahs in small, weekly doses. But if part one of the reunion could be summed up as evil eyes, extra marital affairs, and extensions, part two’s theme should be business schemes, standup routines, and sex tapes that no one has seen.
We pick up from last night with Vida sitting back and watching the destruction she caused after throwing her patented Criticism Grenade into the heart of the crew. Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Asa Soltan Rahmati are still going at it and MJ really has an axe to grind here. Tommy Feight, drinks his free champagne and is happy as a clam, completely unaffected by the drama going on around him. If anyone can handle dating someone on a reality show, I’m starting to think it is Tommy.
It’s that time again, where the Shahs of Sunset gather around a large spread of food and rip each other to shreds. If I were to sum up part one of this reunion, in a few words, it would be: evil eyes, extramarital affairs, and hair extensions. So. Many. Extensions. Asa Soltan Rahmati isn’t wearing them but she made up for her lack of fake hair in about sixty pounds of tacky jewelry.
Carole gushes over the Shahs of Sunset, “It is authentic; it is real. You guys really love each other, and when you hate each other, you really hate. It is the difference between great reality and…” MJ interjects, “Fluff.”
Andy plays the “Gloating while Boating” clip of Luann de Lesseps for Carole. Carole says she has never seen Luann happier. MJ, who is just as incapable of keeping her mouth shut as she is of keeping her boobs inside her clothing, says Luann is way over the top with the whole relationship. Carole admits she’s a little bit over the top, but adds, “But it was actually really sweet.”
Honestly, I actually think that Tommy and MJ are a good couple. Plus, he is more entertaining than the actual cast members on Shahs of Sunset so I appreciate his screen time. Things seemed up in the air for the couple, so I was a little surprised when Tommy revealed that he asked MJ’s dad for permission to propose. So I can’t even imagine how shocked MJ was when he popped the question.
If you thought this season of Shahs of Sunset was all about divorce drama and questioning someone’s health status, you are in the same cynical boat I’m in. But Shahs isn’t all doom and gloom and this episode (sort of) proves it with the perfect formula to rally bored reality show fans everywhere: an overly staged marriage proposal! OK, I still have to be mostly cynical when watching; it’s just the nature of the beast.
We start at Mercedes “MJ” Javid’s condo, where she is busy tidying up her clothing racks so she can have a yard sale. Shervin Roohparvar comes to watch, presumably because he has nothing better to do all day and hasn’t fulfilled his camera time for the week. MJ explains that she needs to make more room for boyfriend, Tommy Feight, who I thought was already moved in anyway? She goes through the hangers and takes us for a long walk down sad memory lane and describes how her clothes remind her of times in her life. Like the time she wore this dress, Vida was berating her at a table full of people and making her cry. Yeah, probably time to get rid of that one.