The first ladies of Bravo returned last night, and if there’s one thing we learned from the Real Housewives of Orange County, it is that six seasons into doing the show, the ladies have still got it! Feel free to replace “it” with drama.
The season kicked off with the new opening title sequences, and missing from Tamra‘s scene is Simon of course and their three kids together. As we reported, Simon has now refused to allow his kids to be filmed. Interesting how Jon Gosselin and Simon all of a sudden decide filming is detrimental to their kids when things are no longer going their way. The ridiculousness began right away with new housewife Peggy Tanous declaring — “Soccer moms drive mini vans but this girl drives a Bentley.” Those words are already coming back to bite Peggy in the tushy as she and her hubby have defaulted on their home loan. Eh, who needs a home when you have a shiny Bentley!
The show begins with “Free Bitch” Tamra sipping wine, going over her freedom papers, while also trying to make amends. Tamra decides to call up the girls including Vicki and Gretchen to invite them to a small get together. Vicki reveals she is still hurt over Tamra ‘stabbing her in the back’ last season, while Gretchen laughs her way through the phoniness. “You know I miss you, I do,” claims Tamra. Umm, no you don’t. Gretchen accepts the invite and Tamra blames her problems with Simon for causing the rift with her and her costars. Safe to assume Tamra’s strategy this season will be to blame all of her past behavior on Simon.
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We get our first infomercial of the season as Jessica Simpson Gretchen works on expanding her budding “empire,” which includes buying already manufactured makeup at wholesale and sticking her name on it. But Gretchen is now moving to bigger and better aka buying already manufactured handbags and sticking her name on it. Gretchen protests once again, making it clear that she did not get a big inheritance from deceased fiance Jeff Beitzel though TMZ didn’t see that way, as the site reported back in 2009 that Gretchen was set to receive $2.5 million from Jeff’s estate. Perhaps 2.5 milly is chump change in the OC. “So clearly I’m no longer a gold-digger. I mean I’m dating Slade,” states Gretchen. No Gretchen, it just proves you have no standards when it comes to men.
Next is some precious quality time with Vicki and Donn, as the two do some moving around in their home. Vicky feels renewed, awakened and blissful with Donn, who simply wants his dumb cluck of a wife to stop whining and complaining. Are these two even in the same marriage? Same planet? Anyone? Guess Donn’s not fully over those empty love tank comments uh? And judging from this scene in addition to the fact that the two are currently divorcing, it is safe to assume Donn will not be getting a nice-guy edit from Bravo this season when it comes to the demise of his marriage with Vicki.
Following her new found freedom and divorce, Tamra does what any respectable OC trailer resident does, which is to get tattoos of her ex removed! Tamra pays a visit to Dr. Will (Big Brother alum) to get her ring finger tatt and tramp stamp lasered off. Dr. Will isn’t the one doing the laser procedure but he does make certain to stick around for some extra camera time, while Tamra shrieks through the whole process. Divorce is painful indeed.
And if there’s one thing we have learned from our Bravo housewives, it is that rich people have problems too. Just like us yall! Our first RPP – Rich People Problem of this season occurs as poor Alexis is forced to actually take care of her own kids. How dreadful. Alexis reveals her nanny is off for the day, while also making some references to her husband Jim being her controlling King or jerk Boss or something. Following some screaming fits and a time out, Alexis is glad to finally get a break, while many single women around the country suddenly remember to fill their birth control prescriptions.
Gretchen is back home getting ready to go out as she enlists the help of her go-to-gay/hairstylist Victor Paul. And geez, even her “before” hair is gorgeous. Sighs – #HairEnvy. Gretchen fills Paul in on the latest with Tamra, and then states in her interview – “I’ve battled the reputation of a gold-digger and a cheater because of the horrible things that Tamra’s said about me.” While I understand Gretchen’s ill feelings towards Tamra, I don’t agree that Tamra is solely responsible for the gold-digging/cheater reputation she received. Gretchen would like an apology from Tamra though I highly doubt hell will be freezing anytime soon.
Next, we are introduced to Fernanda, a new housewife extra on the show, aka Bravo signed her on to be a housewife but didn’t find her life interesting enough by the end of filming. We don’t learn much about Fernanda other than she is a lesbian, who sometimes flirts with Tamra. “I see the beauty in her and evidently she sees the beauty in me,” coyly states Tamra who definitely seems to be enjoying her new found freedom.
Gretchen and Alexis head to Tamra’s in a limo as Alexis makes a funny when she says, “Mama needs a drink and not a DUI!” The ladies joke about A-MEXs and Gretchen, who refuses to use her inside voice in the limo, pokes fun at Alexis’ accent just be-kaws. Gretchen, who might or might not be tipsy already, then tries to get back at Tamra for all her years of mean girl meanness by wondering out loud how Tamra started dating new beau Eddie Judge so quickly following her separation from Simon. Alexis doesn’t pass judgment, putting that whole people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones principle into practice. Alexis also tries to stick up for Tamra by stating her past behavior might have been due to her issues with Simon. Gretchen isn’t buying it, and plans on being a major biyatch.
Gretchen and Alexis finally arrive at the home of Tamra‘s new boyfriend, (the same home Tamra was filmed in at the beginning of the episode). “I think they’re a little tooooasted,” teased Tamra in her interview. And I think Tamra’s riiiiiight! The drama begins right away as Gretchen dons a hat with an eye symbol that’s supposed to ward off evil spirits. “Oh wait, hold on, Tamra – let me put it on for you,” Gretchen said to Tamra with a laugh.
Vicki arrives and Tamra promptly informs her of Gretchen’s comments. Tamra tells Vicki she was taken back by Gretchen’s comments because she thought they had truly put the past behind them, you know, the same way Gretchen thought they had put the past behind them last season only to have Tamra continue to attack her. Vicki advices Tamra to kick Gretchen out, but Tamra would rather not have the drama. Back outside, Gretchen and the others continue to chatter, very loudly, as a tipsy/drunk Gretchen gets very defensive when Alexis jokingly calls her a “Princess” – fighting words when there’s alcohol involved. Alexis tells Gretchen she didn’t mean it in a negative way, while Gretchen seems to have taken special offense to the comment. Perhaps someone needs to inform Alexis that Gretchen is a mogul, and doesn’t have time to be a Princess.
Tamra and Vicki continue their talk, and it’s becoming more obvious that Vicki is still holding a major grudge against Tamra, stemming from last season. The ladies head inside to try on clothes as Gretchen’s outside voice follows her in. “I’m Working. I’m Working” yells Gretchen while talking to Vicki, who is not impressed. “She doesn’t have any kids, she’s not married. She should be working. I mean, what else is she going to do with herself?” highlariously asks Vicki in her interview. And while it’s still a tad early, this might just be the best quote of the season!
The party heads back outside as Gretchen‘s beer muscles continue to grow by the minute. Gretchen repeats the warding off evil spirits comment and Tamra proceeds to flat out ask her, “Were you calling me an evil bitch, is that what you’re saying?” Gretchen replies, “Yeah, I totally kind of was. I don’t think I can hold back on that. I think I was calling you an evil bitch.” Tamra appears stunned and states again that she believed they had buried the hatchet though Gretchen makes it clear all is not forgotten. We later discover that Tamra is not only a free bitch, but also a classy one as she refuses to waste her good wine on Gretchen by not throwing her drink on her. Back inside, Tamra states she doesn’t have time for the BS with Gretchen, citing she has Slade back home for that. And unlike Charlie Sheen, Slade is definitely #NotWinning on this season premiere.
Finally, the party’s coming to an end as Gretchen and Alexis head out, but not before Tamra chats it up with Gretchen’s guest Shawna. Shawna explains to Tamra that she runs her own eBay business, and Gretchen is none too pleased about the convo. “Shawna’s my employee, not Tamra’s,” declares a sober Gretchen in her interview, except the fact that Shawna’s job is to sell other people’s items on eBay Gretchen. Pretty certain she’s employed by a number of people. Alexis and Gretchen get into it again in the limo regarding Alexis’ earlier Princess comment, and it’s becoming more obvious there might be a bit of trouble brewing for this friendship.
Thoughts On Episode – Not a bad episode overall as this season is definitely beginning with a bang. As for the Tamra and Gretchen feud, I was a bit surprised Gretchen went that route with Tamra and almost wished she had been the bigger person. But on the other hand, I don’t blame her as I look back on how badly Tamra has treated her over the previous two seasons. And I do think Tamra blaming all of her bad behavior on Simon is a cop out. But in Tamra’s defense, Gretchen needs to accept responsibility for some of her actions. She shouldn’t blame everything on Tamra. Tamra isn’t the one who lied about her relationship with Jay, or posed for numerous nude photos that ended up online. Overall, I think I’m a bit over the Tamra/Gretchen feud. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about it just feels oh so 2008. Bring on some new drama!
Watch What Happens Live - A good episode with Tamra and Vicki as guests. The highlight of the show was when Tamra revealed both she and other new housewife Peggy Tanous got roofied while out at a club in NYC this week with Vicki and NYC Housewife Ramona Singer. According to Tamra, both ladies accepted drinks from a fan, before they both ultimately passed out on the bathroom floor. Tamra stated that her situation wasn’t as bad as Peggy’s who drank most of the drink given to her. Thankfully for both ladies, Vicki and others were on hand to help them.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THE PREMIERE EPISODE & RECAP? DO YOU THINK TAMRA IS GENUINE IN WANTING TO MEND THINGS WITH GRETCHEN? PLUS THOUGHTS ON GRETCHEN’S BEHAVIOR?