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Good gracious, last night was the Basketball Wives Reunion, and I must say I was a tad scared to watch it.  The majority of those ladies (bwahahaha!) are seriously unhinged.  Once again, John Salley hosts the parade of crazy.  He begins by introducing the veterans–Evelyn Lozada, Tami Roman, Suzie Ketcham, and Royce Reed, followed by the newbies–Kesha Nichols and Kenya Bell.  John next touts Shaunie O’Neal as their team captain.  If nostrils looks could kill, John would be a dead man.

He announces that Jennifer Williams is backstage, and Evelyn thinks it’s for the best.  What in the world is up with her hair??  John asks Shaunie to address the violence on this season.  Is it just me or does she look like a hot pink penguin?  She hopes that all her cast mates use the show as a mirror, and she believes that each woman takes responsibility for their actions.  Sure they do!  Evelyn is always once to admit fault.  Shaunie throws around the buzz word “balance” several times before reveling in applause.

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John highlights Kesha and Kenya’s start on the show.  He calls out Kenya for starting her pop career “later in life.”  They rehash the whole video fight.  I think that Kesha is going to be especially quiet tonight.  The entire Kesha/Tami debacle is revisited.  Tami is a broken record about how Kesha kept talking behind her back.  As for Tahiti, she says, “My bad.”  She apologizes for the way she went off on Kesha, but Tami won’t apologize for the message she was trying to convey. John touts her anger management for allowing her to be so eloquent, and then he shows clips of Tami’s tearful therapy sessions.  Oh please!  This reunion is going to be one giant PR stunt courtesy of Shed Media and VH1.  Thanks, Shaunie!

Guess what y’all?  Evelyn’s loose!  Basically John is going to bring up every single battle this season.  I am praying I only have to watch for an hour, but at this rate, the reunion could be days long!  All it does is remind me of how ridiculously gigantic Evelyn’s earrings always are, and there goes a wine bottle!  Evelyn tears up, saying that is the one moment she wishes she could take back out of all the seasons.  Evelyn says her (future) step-daughters thought the scene was funny, and she realizes that it wasn’t funny–and she needs to be a better example.  John offers her a tissue, but she declines.  There really aren’t any tears to wipe away!

John brings up the breakdown of Evelyn and Jennifer’s friendship.  Viewers are reminded of Evelyn’s uber-classy toast at Shaunie’s birthday dinner, following by Jenn getting purse slapped.  Evelyn thinks she is extremely loyal and didn’t get the same respect from Jennifer during interviews.  Shaunie doesn’t regret inviting them both to the dinner, as they both knew the other would be there.  Every time John even remotely pokes fun at Shaunie, I am fearful for his well-being.

Nia-gate basically hits me in the face again, but I do so love watching a barefoot Evelyn take a flying leap off of a conference table.  Evelyn thinks that Jenn is only suing Nia for attention.  Jenn is screaming from backstage.  John teases Royce about not getting tearful, and I think it’s the first time she speaks.  I hate to say it, but the lighting on that stage isn’t doing anyone but Tami any favors.  She’s the only one who doesn’t look like a wax figure.

Jenn joins the cast on stage, and Evelyn is working on some yoga breathing.  John reminds the women that they need to behave and informs the audience that Nia was invited to attend but declined on the advice of her attorney.  When John asks Jennifer if it has been easy to distance herself from this group she says yes.  She garners sneers from the studio audience when she smugly replies, “It is what it is.”  Tami and Shaunie are clearly disgusted by her.  The whole “Jenn lived with Nia” seems to be semantics between Jenn and Evelyn.  Jennifer explains her reasoning and timing about pressing charges, and she apologizes for saying the below the belt comment that Nia didn’t have anything.  John questions the double standard of pressing charges against Nia but not against her ex-husband Eric Williams when he tossed a drink in her face last season.  Tami gets on a very well-spoken soapbox about bullying and intimidation tactics that Jenn has been a part of in past seasons.  She’s a regular public service announcement.

After some goading from Shaunie about never admitting to faults, Jennifer apologizes to Evelyn for hurting her feelings.  She also apologizes to anyone else in the cast she may have wronged.  Shaunie then says that, as women on television, they all should be interested in supporting the growth of fellow cast mates, and she is proud of all that Jenn is accomplishing.  It hurts her heart to see friendships deteriorate due to the show…so much so that it’s time for her to stifle a tiny sob.  Tami interrupts to address all the overly opinionated viewers who are curious as to why Shaunie and Tami never intervened in the fights between Jenn and Evelyn.  Tami wants everyone to know that both she and Shaunie wanted them to repair their relationship.  John is tired of the women blaming the cameras.  He believes that Evelyn and Jennifer’s friendship would have likely split otherwise.

Jennifer says she was hurt by Evelyn not reaching out to her during her divorce.  I wonder if Royce and Suzie will be allowed to speak next week.  Oh yea!  Royce helps John with his vocabulary.  John reveals to the audience that Evelyn has taken a polygraph test, and he hopes that Jenn will do the same.  After agreeing, she’s escorted off stage.

Next week, Kesha speaks to TamiShaunie gets on Jenn for pressing charges, and finally, some yelling!

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE REUNION?  HOW STAGED WAS THAT WHOLE MESS?

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