Searching for stability, searching for sobriety… a whole lot of searching… and that, my friends, is how Dr. Drew Pinsky sums up the final season of Teen MomThen he welcomes Farrah Abraham, Maci Bookout, and Catelynn Lowell to the reunion special. Amber Portwood is at summer camp and unable to attend the taping. 

When Dr. Drew glosses over Amber's absence, I know that this was taped a while back. I mean, "legal and personal issues" and "voluntary five-year prison term" aren't even in the same ballpark. If the "reunion show" isn't going to be taped in real time, I think it's kind of pointless. 

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the reunion, ha, who am I kidding? It's Dr. Drew. Let me start again.

Teen Mom Series Finale Recap

Before we get into the limp lettuce and soggy potatoes of the reunion, Dr. Drew reminds us what happened this season on Teen Mom, as if it isn't already permanently burned into our brains. (I'll show you my scar tissue, if you show me yours.) Alas, the highlights…

Amber and Gary Shirley fight. Amber enters rehab after she threatens suicide. Rehab takes away Amber's fake eyelashes and spray tan but not her drugs. Amber goes home. Amber and Gary fight. Gary gets sole custody of Leah.


Catelynn and Tyler Baltierra celebrate Carly's second birthday. Catelynn and Tyler parent their parents. Butch is released from jail. Butch goes back to jail. April gets clean. Catelynn and Tyler talk and talk and talk. 

Farrah moves to Florida with Sophia. Debra talks like a baby. Farrah misses Derek and fake cries at his grave. Farrah scares away two men. Farrah has too many "situations" to care for Sophia, so she sends her to live with "Satan Mama" for a month.

Maci enrolls Bentley in preschool. Ryan Edwards dates Dalis. Maci aches for Ryan. Maci misses class because she has a yard sale. Maci and Ryan fight about Twitter and Bentley's birthday. Ryan considers taking Maci to court.

When the memory reel ends, Dr. Drew gets deep, "Thoughts?Farrah is happy she got through it. Maci tears up over the custody issues. Catelynn reports she and Tyler are in school.

Dr. Drew reads a statement from Amber

I want to say hi to Farrah, Maci, Catelynn, Dr. Drew, and the viewers. I wish I could be with you all today. I can't be there because I had a probation violation. I am doing okay, and I miss you all. 

Part one of the reunion special focuses on Catelynn and Tyler and Farrah. Dr. Drew calls Catelynn and Tyler to the hot lukewarm seat.

Big news… Tyler and Catelynn have set a wedding date. Throughout Teen Mom, Catelynn and Tyler talk about how they want to finish school and establish their careers before they get married. Now, suddenly, they're getting married next year! Dr. Drew calls them hypocrites asks them why the change of plans. Catelynn explains, they've been together for eight years, they're soul mates, Tyler said "how about next year?" and Catelynn bought a dress. My opinion, the timeline got pushed up as soon as MTV announced this is their last season. Moving up the wedding increases their chances of getting it on TV. Catelynn and Tyler are relevant now… not so much five years from now.

Catelynn struggles in life because her dad left when she was 12. Dr. Drew says to Catelynn, "It's hard to have any esteem for yourself when your own dad didn't even value you." Catelynn agrees. Catelynn knows she clings to Tyler because she's afraid that he, too, will leave her. Tyler shares that his younger self had issues with authority, but therapy has helped him a lot.

They move on to talk about Butch and April. Tyler says he did not send Butch the letter he wrote in the finale. "I don't know; it's weird. I can't give up on the guy," he says. Butch is still in prison. Tyler feels sad for April.  April joins Catelynn and Tyler. At the time of this taping, April is 173 days sober. Good for her. Dr. Drew thinks April is holding back on something, so he sits in her lap (practically) and pushes the issue. He's like, so, you're addicted to Butch, what are you going to do about this? April has no answer. Catelynn tells April she needs to leave Butch. Dr. Drew warns April, "Butch is going to do it again." Dr. Drew has a firm grip on April, so she cannot run, and he adds, "You need to act like a mom." 

Obviously, this was taped before April sold the pregnancy story to the tabloids.

Dr. Drew briefly touches on Carly's adoption. Catelynn says, "I remember me giving Carly to her [Teresa] and just me watching her facial expression. That was seriously the most amazing thing ever.” Also, Catelynn thanks her fans. She says their support helped her through a period of depression. Catelynn firmly believes the only reason she and Tyler are still together is because they placed Carly for adoption. Catelynn says, “Which [Teen Mom] couples are together? None. Just me and Tyler. It is too stressful at that young of an age to raise a child when you are a child yourself." 

Considering what they've had to endure in their lives, Catelynn and Tyler truly are exceptional. I look forward to seeing where they go from here. I wish them nothing but the best.

It's time to talk to Farrah now. Dr. Drew asks Farrah about her decision to send Sophia to Iowa. Farrah says, "At the time I thought I really needed it. I was losing my mind." She adds, "It's confusing. I think I need a break, so I can get my school done, get this done, start dating, and then have Sophia come back when everything is perfect. Everything didn't turn out perfect. Everything wasn't ready the right way. So, whatever, life isn't about planning." 
Dr. Drew asks about Adam. Farrah says Adam was not kid friendly. Daniel? Farrah says, "All I can say after living through that relationship (all 45 days!), is that some people are completely untrue to themselves." Dr. Drew wonders which straw broke Daniel's back. Classic. If given the chance, what would Farrah say to Daniel now? Farrah says, "I have no more words for him. He's not even worth a word."
Dr. Drew wants to know why Farrah calls her dad Michael. (finally!) Farrah explains, "It's hard to call your parents mom and dad when you've lost respect for them. And that's that." But she refers to Debra as mom… "Yeah, cause if I were to call my mom Debra, I think she would have a really hard time with that." Dr. Drew wants to know why Michael doesn't get the same consideration. Farrah laughs and says, "Pretty much everybody in my family bullies him, so that's what it is." 
Farrah doesn't respect her parents because, when she was growing up, they worked too much, fought too much, and shipped Farrah off to her grandparents' house. Well, that sounds familiar, where have I heard that before?
Debra joins Farrah. Dr. Drew jumps right in. He reminds Debra that Ashley blames Debra for Farrah's screwed-up relationships. Debra doesn't have any idea why Ashley feels this way. Farrah says, "My mom should have an idea. She put us in that position with her choices … working too hard …" Debra says, "I hear this constantly. I hear more anger than love and it hurts very badly." Farrah fights back, "Because I am still aggravated. <eye roll> For instance, my mom and my dad were just both at my house for Sophia's birthday. Yup. Together. It's clear that they're divorced, but yet they want to go out every night and go drink together and act like they want to be together. This is how I feel: too damn late. <oddly works Derek into the argument> It's bulls**t how you two act." Dr. Drew doesn't follow Farrah's train of thought. Debra and Dr. Drew both agree that Debra and Michael are adults and can do what they want. 
Farrah coldly thanks her mom for everything she does for her. Debra cries. Sadly, Farrah will only ever love and respect Farrah. She is the most accomplished of the teens – college, book deal, mom & me food products, music… stuff, modeling – but she is an insufferable brat.
Thankfully, that's the end of part one. The reunion special continues next week with Maci, Kyle, Ryan, Dalis, and Gary. 
Photo Credit: MTV
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