It's not enough for the Real Housewives of New Jersey to "entertain" us with a three-part reunion.  Oh no, we have to be faced with all of them in the media on every single day of the week.  I'm going back and forth like a pair of windshield wipers in a monsoon, that's for sure.  After the second installment of the reunion, I'm just in shock.  I was mortified and humiliated for Teresa Giudice for every second that Juicy Joe was on that couch.  I was sick that Jacqueline Laurita called out such personal things in their marriage, but I honestly think she was provoked.  Shame on both of them.

Melissa Gorga is every bit as manipulative as her sister-in-law, which I've always believed.  Again, she's just so much better at learning to keep her mouth shut to play the victim.  Kathy Wakile has her baked goods, so I'm happy for her.  I've never come out and said it (and I'm ready for the backlash…kind of…sort of…maybe), but Caroline Manzo doesn't bother me.  I get when people say she's too into her grown kids, and I understand that she may play the matriarch card to a ridiculous degree.  However, do I think she's a bully?  Not entirely.  I just think she has a very low tolerance for BS.  Y'all can call it saving face (and maybe it is, what do I know?), but I think she has been nothing but rational and even-keeled during this train wreck of a reunion.  When Teresa started bowing down on the table, thanking God that her former friends were out of her life, I couldn't believe what I was watching.  Bravo will probably enlist Dr. Sophy next, mark my words.  Perhaps the world is ending with the Mayan calendar…

So, after an ill-fated extra hour on Andy Cohen's sofas, the women have retreated to their multi-media outlets to wage battle once again.  Whether it's Twitter, their personal web sites, or gossip blog interviews, it seems a lot easier to spew the hate when no one is screaming across the set.  They're all doing it, don't get me wrong…but Teresa has had some gems in the last twenty-four plus hours.


First up, Teresa gives an exclusive interview to Rumor Fix about her cousin Kathy and her often inappropriate husband Richie.  Of the "moochers" (Tre's word, not mine), the Fabellini grand dame begins, “I can’t even believe they got on the show. They’ve gone to stores — they expect to get free clothes. They’re such moochers.”  Heavens to Betsy, yes!  I can't believe Bravo would stoop so low as to put such tacky people on such a high brow production.  The next thing you know, we'll have women wearing head to toe sequins and lycra to luncheons.  I can't even fathom!

Teresa continues, discussing happier times when she somewhat enjoyed being around the moochers who were mooching off of her and her mooch-worthy boat.  She tells the site, “We had a boat on the water. They used to be on our boat every single weekend. Then we were good, you know? They’re such moochers and users and it’s really sad. I know them and it’s just so funny to me. I’ve known them my whole life. Kathy’s mom is my father’s sister. My father and Kathy’s mom have not spoken since they came on the show. It’s really sad."  You know what I find sad? Moochers.  It's almost as if Kathy is mooching a show off of her cousin!  Oh wait…

Moving on to Kathy's relationship with her sister, I thought Rosie Pierri explained herself well on the sofa…you know, after she'd gotten out all the maniacal and beyond frightening serial killer death threats (how scary was that, BTW?).  She calmly explained that Kathy never had a problem with her being gay, she had a problem with her partner taking advantage. I totally get why anyone would think they had a rift.  Of course, once she shared the situation, Teresa seemed to keep trying to pit the sisters against one another.  Well guess what?  She's not done!

Of Rosie and Kathy's past, Teresa asserts, “When I was at the reunion show, I heard somebody screaming, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I thought at first it was my brother screaming. I just assumed. I don’t know why. I never thought Rosie was gonna be at the reunion show. I’ve done nothing to Rosie. I have always love, love, loved Rosie. Every time I was with Kathy and I would always say to her invite your sister. Kathy never wanted to invite her before. They never got along. Now all of a sudden –  they’re all best friends. I’m just sayin’. Kathy didn’t want her sister around her kids because she was gay and because she had a girlfriend at the time. Rosie went through a lot of hard times trying to find herself. After she came out she was more comfortable with it. She was going through her own issues.”  I'm just sayin'.  That sounds familiar…from whom have I heard that phrase before?

Part of me wishes that this insanity is Bravo's big practical joke on all of us, especially given the precious children involved.  I'll keep pretending that may be that's the case.  When asked about a potential family reconciliation, Teresa has her reservations about Kathy (no sarcasm here…I totally understand given what Kathy said about Tre's parents.  There was no need to go there!), but she is open to reconnecting with brother Poison Joe GorgaShe admits, “I don’t know about Kathy because of what she said about my parents. It’s really hurtful. For my brother the door is always open. I love my brother and when he’s ready to come back to me and wants to be my brother again, I’ll be there for him. Melissa is his wife so I will always have to accept her because that’s his wife.”  Progress?  Forgive me for having my doubts.

If Teresa is on her way to accepting Melissa as her brother's wife, she has a funny way of showing it.  She grants another interview to the same site about Melissa's arm twisting accusations.  For the record, I don't think Teresa did anything to Melissa's arm, but that doesn't mean I think that Teresa showed up to the party with a batch of bygone cupcakes and a gallon of water (under the bridge).  She recalls, "I never twisted her arm. The reason why I think she’s bringing this up– what, nine or 10 months later — is because at the reunion show she puts her hands on me. I think she was trying to plant the seed and put that out there so she’ll have a reason, like, ‘She touched me so that’s why I touched her.’ She grabs my arm and I tell her to get her hands off of me. “

I'm a little lot shaky on my timeline, so please correct me if I'm wrong.  Didn't the arm twisting come up in the first installment and Melissa touch Teresa's arm in the second hour?  I realize editing is both a b*tch and a lover, so it could very well be a mish mash.  Regardless, I kind of equate Melissa grabbing Teresa's arm at the reunion to Teresa grabbing Kathy's face while touring wine country.  Both were totally unacceptable, yet both seemed to be nothing more than an attempt at redirection. 

Teresa adds, Melissa is a really good actress. I was on the show two years before she came on. She came on the show behind my back. I think she’s very calculating, very contrived, and knows what she’s doing. I know from knowing her eight years now that what you see on this show is not the real Melissa. Eventually everyone’s true colors come out. One day maybe eventually maybe you guys will see that. She plays the victim role really well.”  True.  Of course it's true!  I couldn't have said it better myself.  Now, however, sinking to the antics and attitudes of these women, I have to revert back to third grade and say, "It takes one to know one!"  Really, if these two could just channel their powers together, they could likely take over the world…or at least the Garden State.

Talking about Melissa's penchant for attention that she herself clearly doesn't have, Teresa shares, “Hello! She attends every single party that’s out there. That’s not me. I have a family, I have four daughters. I hardly go to parties because I have four daughters to take care of. I’m not out there half as much as she is out there.”  Wait, how many daughters?

Finally, I leave you with Teresa's personal blog on her personal site where she vehemently denies joking that her niece Antonia was ugly.  While I teased in a prior post that I could picture her saying it (not really even to be ugly, just to be awkwardly funny), I think it's just as bogus as the rest of you.  That said, the ilk with which she wrote this blog reeks of ridiculousness.  Just say you didn't say it.  The majority of people will believe you.  Instead, Teresa shares umpteen pictures of her niece with a comparable picture of her.  Why would she ever say her niece was ugly when they look so much alike?  (Both cute kids, by the way!)

She promises the blog is just to reach out to a child who may one day be able to read her aunt's musings on the Internet after her mother has poisoned the child against her.  I really just don't know what to say.  Here's a snippet as I am too sad (?), flabbergasted (?), exhausted with drama (?) to paraphrase:

There were another million crazy hurtful untrue stories about me this week and I ignore them all, but one I can't ignore. Again, Melissa is using our children in public, telling lies about them, to try and hurt me. Please Melissa, say whatever you want about me, but leave innocent children out of this!

Someday Antonia will be old enough to make her own decisions and hopefully I'll have a relationship with her and her brothers then, but I have to answer the INSANE LIE that I ever, ever said anything mean about Antonia. Someday when Antonia is able to Google her own name, she'll find the evil story her mother told to a magazine about me calling her "ugly" (I can only pray Melissa's words were taken out of context by the magazine and I hope Melissa sets the record straight with Antonia privately, even though she didn't publicly) but I want Antonia to also see my response: it's absolutely NOT TRUE. I adore you Antonia, and I adore Gino and Joey. You are my blood. You are Gorgas. You are beautiful inside and out! Zia Teresa will always, ALWAYS love you and always be here for you with open arms. My children love you as well. They always treated you like their own sister growing up since you didn't have any. I hope one day you'll be able to hang out again.

Now, if Teresa could have just left anything negative (deserved or not) about the poor child's mother out of this blog, it would be a lot more palatable.  Instead, it seems like just another dig in a war between two women who are pretty much the same.  Don't believe me?  After the blog was posted, Melissa felt compelled to tweet, "Did T seriously write a whole lying blog about my daughter? This is why I'm moving. Always about her. #enoughalready"  Still don't believe me?  After Melissa's tweet, Teresa felt it necessary to update her blog with the following:

Believe me, I hate to leave a message for my nieces and nephews on the Internet, but I have no other way to get through to them, and at least this will be here, permanently, for them to read with their own eyes someday. I meant every word of it. I don't care who believes me or doesn't, this is how I feel.

And this wasn't just a tiny rumor, the accusation was in a national cover story ( and you and I both know Melissa bought boxes of that magazine, so yes, Antonia will one day see it. I wasn't trying to make this about me–I was only trying to point out that it's ridiculous to claim I called Antonia "ugly" when we look alike–that would be like calling myself ugly. She's beautiful, I love her and my nephews. Visit us all in 15 years and hopefully you will find one big happy family. xx

Gee, thanks for the hyperlink.  If, by the slim chance that a future sixteen-year-old Antonia has never seen that dreaded article, and, if by chance, she takes after her mother and aunt and loved to Google herself, she will find this well-meaning (cough!) blog which conveniently links to the story she may have hopefully never seen.  I know that's all a giant and ridiculous hypothetical, but gracious!  Notice that she spent the first half of her blog speaking directly to her niece, yet the update was directed totally at her fans.  Bash what I say all you want, but the only victims in any of this drama are these poor kids, and none of their parents (NONE!) are doing anything remotely responsible or mature to change that.  It's beyond sad, it's tragic.  I'll step down off my soap box now.  Love and light.  #sarcasm.


[Photo Credit: Twitter]



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