Sometimes I just want to see Kody Brown's hair blowing in the breeze when I watch Sister Wives. I don't want to hear Meri whining or Christine jabbering on about the family's mission statement while Janelle quietly plans her mistake. I certainly don't want to be treated to a little ditty about Robyn's first sexual experience!
The cul-de-sac compound is in full swing, and all of the children are excited to be in such close proximity. Kody's hair is more feathered than normal, and he's looking forward to the first family church service in the new homes. While Kody leads his family in a lesson and has asked his wives to contribute. This week, Robyn will be dishing on chastity and sexual purity. Perhaps that will wake up the teens who are nodding off during Kody's service.
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Robyn is very nervous to share the biggest mistake of her life with her whole family, and while I know she's not going to say it was marrying the Lion King, I think it would be hilarious if she did. No, instead Robyn is talking about losing her virginity when she was nineteen. She was questioning her parents and her faith, and she felt like she was missing out on the fun by being so chaste with her boyfriend.
The kids are in awe of Robyn as she's sobbing and throwing her purity on the ground…of course, by purity, I mean a giant heart shaped pendant that has to be from the My Sister Wives Closet collection. Kody comforts Robyn as she reveals that she got pregnant. She's crying about what a huge mistake she made, and I'm hoping that her oldest child skipped out on church this Sunday. This is a tad awkward.
Giving away her heart-shaped purity caused Robyn to enter into a loveless marriage, but it gave her a special bond with her oldest son. Kody explains that when he first started courting Robyn she sat down with the wives to tell her purity story. The younger girls look terrified, but Janelle's son Hunter admits that he doesn't think premarital sex is all that bad if you're in love.
Mariah announces that she's gotten into her dream college, and she's managed to score $10,000 in scholarship money. While everyone is excited for her, Kody reminds her that she's going to have to come up with more than that in financial aid if she wants to go there. After all, at some point in the near future, he's going to have five kids in college at the same time. Hmmm…didn't that cross his mind when he married four different women and had twenty something children?
After the service, the family eats together and then throws together a make-shift time capsule/cooler to bury in one of the backyards. Kody is using every tool in the garage to dig a hole while his kids head back inside to play on their phones. Meri is feeling pressured to make a decision on whether she'll have another baby. I'm still confused as to why they are burying a perfectly good cooler in the backyard, but I'm thrilled that the episode was only half an hour!
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[Photo Credit: Lifetime]