Despite her cancer scare Lisa Nicole Cloud is going through with the WEN (Women's Empowerment Network) conference because she needs a distraction. Of course her first mistake was including her co-workers in the guest list. She describes the conference as a "who's-who" event, so naturally she left Mariah off the guest list. Lisa Nicole shares that the event raises 5-figures annually for charities benefiting women and children. And after this year all of those good deeds will be eclipsed by ill-behaving Bravo famewhores! Reality TV – gotta love it!
Toya Bush-Harris and Eugene put a deposit down on a house. Ever the planner, Toya is already decorating the house they do not own yet! Toya says her new high is shopping for furniture. Let's be real – Toya's high has always been spending Eugene's money!
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Toya meets her decorator at a furniture shop and quips that she's not worried about closing – she's worried about Eugene allowing purchases of furry throw pillows. Retroactively, of course. "Eugene was not invited on this shopping trip today, because he likes to look at price tags." Reality please locate Toya somewhere out there in neverland and smack some sense (and cents!) into her!
You know. I think I have to agree with Dr. Simone: Toya needs to walk down the yellow brick road and ask the wizard for a brain.
Quad pays a visit to Reco Chappelle to try and convince him that puppy couture is the future. She brings her dogs, Chloe and Kari along, but insists Reco refer to them by their given names. Chloe and Kari demand respect – don't let their little yappy
Mariah voices tell you otherwise! Quad tells Reco, she is embarrassed to get freaky in front of the dogs – who have to go to their own rooms while Mommy and Daddy are intimate.
Reco is having problems digesting all of this – and that's saying something because given his long-time friendship with Mariah he has a high tolerance for the ridiculous!
Speeeeeaking of ridiculous, Quad pitches to Rico about designing her dog collection. At first Reco is dubious – I mean he's worked with dogs before they're more like bitches on two legs (see: Mariah) but then he sees the dollar-signs of more screen time on Bravo. He and Quad work on some sketches for faux leather tutus and end up talking about something else completely faux: Mariah! After the STK incident Quad is done. "I cannot take the verbal abuse anymore. And then she almost got physical," Quad explains.
Quad is still upset about how things have turned out with Mariah. She compares her to the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood – tricking you into believing she's harmless while planning your destruction.
Mariah had to make an appointment with Dr. Simone Whitmore to get someone to film with her. Her excuse: she needs to freeze some eggs. Simone puts on her best doctor and as nicely as possible tells Mariah she's basically collecting social security as far as maternal age goes! Simone suggests Mariah get preggers right. now.
because then she'd have a storyline – and guess what: she could get preggers as her BFF Quad. Mariah claims she wouldn't want to steal Quad's thunder, but the reality is Mariah would want all the 'Look at my bump!' attention. And of course she'd also take credit for Quad's insemination. Remember Mariah made Quad, so by proxy she probably also made her baby!
It's a little weird for Simone to be sharing Quad's uterus updates with Mariah, but it's the perfect segue for them to talk about Mariah's friendship with Quad. According to Simone, Mariah refuses to admit her responsibility for the issues. Mariah believes she and Quad just on a little break; a pause, while Quad recognizes her place – behind Mariah!
Mariah describes "the new Quad" as Chicken Little because she's creating drama for attention – and reveling in her newfound place "on the scene in Atlanta". Interesting that Quad and Mariah describe each other using children's books. #OnTheirMaturityLevel "She has to realize it's a whole lotta fakeness and phoniness here." Yes – like Mariah, herself!
Simone wants Mariah to come to the WEN conference to talk to Quad. Unfortunately Mariah maaaaay be too busy getting Ayden's hair plug consultation. Which Mariah scheduled that day on purpose believing she'd never get invited to film with the other ladies. Something tells me Ayden's hair consultation was rescheduled before Mariah left Simone's waiting room!
Speaking of consultations, Quad pitches her puppy couture to a potential investor. DonRay, the investor, seems to think this is an episode of Punk'd! And Quad's pitch is a disaster. Instead of dressing her dogs in said 'couture' she has them in t-shirts and brings samples of people clothes made from materials she wants to make dog clothes out of. Then one dog falls off the table during the pitch. And the other one pees on the floor. After all that Quad asks for several million! "Laaawd," says DonRay. Exactly. Quick Question: doesn't Atlanta have leash laws?
As if that crazy wasn't enough Dr. Heavenly Kimes gives us all a lesson in being a good wife. First she tells her daughter that no matter how successful she is she always has to submit to her husband as he is the leader of the house. Cause this 1850. Alaura shoots her a side-eye. I cannot wait til this little miss is 16!
Then Heavenly lectures "Daddy" about how important it is to be a submissive wife who lets her husband lead. And of course all of her co-workers are in terrible marriages because they dare have an opinion. Unlike Heavenly. Daddy looks depressed her forgot his earplugs. Daddy is pretty much the walking dead in this marriage. Heavenly needs to stop trying to make herself happen.
The WEN conference finally arrives, which means the ladies have put their Louboutins and boxing gloves on! "I sure hope we're going to respect the fact that Lisa Nicole has put in a lot of work to put together a wonderful conference for today," says Dr. Jackie Walters. Aaaahhh… yes, that'd be nice wouldn't it. Unfortunately things go badly immediately when Toya greets Simone by saying "No yelling today." Simone does not take the instruction well and tensions puff up like the fur on Quad's collar.
In the "Tranquility Room" where the ladies are supposed to be relaxing in between speakers, Simone starts throwing shade at Toya. "I'm concerned…," Jackie confesses, "It is not starting out on a great foot." After Toya complains to Lisa about Simone "gyrating" on Eugene again and Simone erupts.
Simone tells Quad that if Toya wants to talk to her, she has to get a brain. Quad suggests just be polite – "Fake hi one another," she advises. RIGHT – MANNERS! HELLOOOOO! Too late – Toya and Simone argue across the Tranquility Suite about who is responsible for the drama.
In the course of the argument, Toya says "What you should have did…" instead of "What you should have done…" and it sets Simone off on a Dr. Jackie-esque lecture about how dumb Toya is. Well this is the very definition of women's empowerment! "Simone is putting on her teacher hat," explains Toya. "We need to throw an apple at that bitch and tell her, 'Look, your specialty is the vagina – not the dictionary.'"
"Can we get some ownership over here?" Toya snaps, still annoyed that Simone won't just apologize for freaking on Eugene. Which Simone SHOULD apologize for! Simone simply hopes Toya will absorb the important knowledge of the conference. These two need to be shown the door.
Annnd from one drama to another! In the middle of Lisa Nicole giving a speech about dealing with difficult people Heavenly and Mariah arrive. As if on cue! "Most people who are sad, show it as mad," Lisa counsels. This resonates with Quad, who wishes Mariah were listening to this.
Mariah walks in, late, and takes Lisa Nicole's seat conveniently located next to Quad. Quad gives her the cold shoulder in return. In the breakroom, Simone starts getting messy again and suggests Mariah talk to Quad. Mariah complains that Quad was giving her an "I hate you bitch" look when she walked in, because some feelings are hard to hide!
Mariah of course continues her schtick of blaming Quad for all their problems while Quad listens nearby until she walks over. "Ya'll gotta heal this," Heavenly instructs the two former besties. Cue – argument. Quad gets emotional, voices raise, and Quad calls Mariah out on lying. Mariah accuses Quad of being a "transformer – especially a decepticon" and not a true friend. "I have been a good friend to you and loved you like a sister," Mariah yells.
Quad cries about how Mariah has been a terrible friend to her. "You have hurt me in ways you can't imagine," Quad sobs. "You are a master manipulator!" Mariah, true to form, denies everything – and lies about going around town saying she made Quad relevant. #ItsAllOnTape Lisa and the other ladies standby unimpressed.
"Why are we here today having this conversation in the tranquility room," Dr. Jackie wonders. Aaahhh… Jackie – Bravo cameras and all that!
Mariah believes Quad is putting on a show for attention – and that's what caused their friendship to fall apart: Quad's need for attention. And of course none of that is Mariah's fault! "I'm the tree – and you are the branch!" Mariah shouts at Quad. Mariah's true colors! What was denial she was issuing about going around town taking 'credit' for Quad? Uh-huh. Thanks for that empowering speech, girls.
[Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – WILL MARIAH AND QUAD EVER MAKE AMENDS? TEAM TOYA OR TEAM SIMONE?