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On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, it’s a beautiful morning for the Biermann Family! Kim Zolciak lets us know that she loves the sound of the FedEx delivery truck (aka Santa Claus) as they can only mean posh, luxurious gifts waiting for her to devour. After ripping through her usual order of Louis Vuitton bags and what not, she opens up some odd items that Kroy has ordered.  Solar showers and female urinals among them and oh, crap! Kim forgot she promised Kroy Biermann she would go camping in exchange for her high-end shopping spree earlier that month.

She tries to bail on the trip when she finds Kroy in the basement getting organized and ready to go for a fun time in the wilderness. Kroy wants her to unplug for a bit and detach from her hectic life and enjoy the great outdoors for a few days.  Kim is all, “Ugh!! Fine!”.

Prior to the trip, Kim’s announces she’s back y’all! By that, I mean she can finally get Botox again since it’s been years due to being pregnant or breastfeeding.  Accompanying her is Shun, her stylist and Kroy. Although Kroy is only 28, Kim wants him to get a peel with her to you know, do it together.  Kroy reluctantly agrees (I think it took me 2 years to convince my husband to get a pedicure.  I love Kroy.) and she treats Shun to her first Botox session too.  That’s a nice perk when you work for the Biermanns!

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Refreshed and ready to go, they get home and Kroy calls a family meeting.  He announces that the fam is going camping (no matter how much Brielle and Ariana protest) and lays down the law of the land to the gang.  Hilariously, Kim points out that her a$$hole is only for her toilets at home and no way in Hell is she taking a number 2 outside.  Nope.  Not even in hotels (really?).  Lana would rather be fired than forced to go camping.  Kroy warns of the dangers of bears and poisonous plants and good Lord, I’m getting kind of scared.  For the record, I can completely relate as I just don’t enjoy camping.  I don’t like being outside overnight, I don’t like bugs, any of it. Moving on…

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Kim caves and is going to make the camping trip the best of it.  And dang it, she at least should look good while doing it.  For a change of pace, Shun brings over gear from Dick’s Sporting Goods versus say, Gucci.  And holy cow, those clothes are terrible. It’s like what Lady Gaga envisions her camping costume would be with camouflage feathers hanging off pants and shirts.  All of a sudden, Kim and Kroy convince Shun to go! I have to wonder, don’t they have any friends? Is it normal to have people that are on your payroll also be your friends? I wonder if they pay her to go camping?  Packing up the car, Kim breaks the news to Sweetie that she’ll be leaving the twins and Kash at home with her and the nannies. Sweetie practically kisses Kim’s feet, she’s so overcome with joy.  Kim, channeling Marky Mark in one-shoulder overalls and a bandana, rounds up the fam in the cars and off they go (and of course, Kim can’t forget her wigs!).

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As they approach the camp site, Kim is starting to realize that being in the middle of nowhere has its perks.  I mean, she might not have to wear wigs or suck in her stomach – this already sounds like a great time to me!  The group unloads all the camping equipment and Kroy starts to build the tent with the help of Lana and Kim (way to go Kim!).  Upon completion, the tent looks really nice and I’m beginning to think this camping trip might not be so bad after all. 

Stay tuned next week as the Biermanns will be fishing and playing an intriguing game of truth or dare around the campfire!

 TELL US – WHICH REAL HOUSEWIFE WOULD BE YOUR PICK TO GO CAMPING WITH?

Recap Author: Bonnie K.

 

Photo Credits: Bravo TV

 

 

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