sister wives

So two hours of Sister Wives, anyone? One hundred twenty minutes of Kody Brown’s mane. Thankfully, last night’s episode starts with everyone preparing for Mykelti and Madison’s graduations. The girls go to different schools so there will be double the opportunity for Meri to make a scene at the ceremonies. Christine compares Mykelti’s nest leaving to that of daughter Aspyn who she believes was more prepared for the transition. Madison, on the other hand, can’t wait to high tail it out of Las Vegas and head to college in her former home state of Utah. Janelle promises that she won’t turn into a sappy mom (ahem, Meri) as her daughter packs her room. 

With everyone wondering about Robyn’s pregnancy (she did look pretty pregnant last season), she has her own little sofa session where she admits that Aspyn asked if she was pregnant while the family was watching the slide show featured on last season’s finale. After Aspyn approached her, more and more family members inquired as to whether she was having a baby. Well, we can stop the bump watch, folks! Robyn states that she is too busy with My Sister Wives Closet to even think about having another child…at least at the moment. 


Janelle admits that since the commitment ceremony, the family still spends very little time together. Kody reminds her that the clan will be spending so much time together with the graduations that they will be sick of each other. I feel like this two hour premiere is just a lot of flashbacks from last season. Christine is spear-heading a lip synced dance routine to “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by Georgia Satellite for Mykelti’s surprise. Kody thinks the song is totally appropriate given that he doesn’t want his daughters mouth-swapping hormones with any boys. Janelle wants no part of it, as she hates dancing (in a “She can’t really do it” way, not a “the town in Footloose” way). When they peer pressure her, she storms out on the verge of tears. Christine, Meri (she’s been awfully quiet so far), and Kody all dumbly stare at each other like, oh wait? Did she really mean she didn’t want to dance when she repeatedly said she didn’t want to dance? Janelle shares that she is sometimes embarrassed to be out in public with Kody and the other wives when they are being too loud and boisterous. No one blames you a bit for feeling that way, Janelle!

Having changed her health, Janelle is proud of her weight loss and lifestyle switch. She now wants to work on her emotional health. Janelle is meeting with the family’s therapist, and she wants to mend her relationship with Meri. She reveals that there was a lot of animosity between the two when Janelle became Kody’s second wife. Apparently, Meri and Janelle were friends before Meri even met Kody, and Janelle would like to get back to those days. However, she knows it will not be an easy or painless process!

The “adults” reconvene to keep planning the graduation party shenanigans, and Janelle returns to share her ideas on a skit/movie for A Tale of Two Maddies. She’s still not dancing though. The group decides to show Maddie her life had she stayed the brooding, angry teen who originally came to Las Vegas. Angry Maddie will be played by Janelle. Robyn will play the Maddie who now loves school and student government and wants a legal career. Kody will play the dead beat that Angry Maddie would have inevitably ended up with (they say girls look for men like the father!), and Meri will play Kody because, well, you know…they have the same hair. 

Now that she’s eighteen, Mykelti is second guessing her fifteen-year-old self who wanted a bunch of piercings and tattoos upon graduation. She’s excited to move out on her own and be roommates with Aspyn. She really has a great head on her shoulders. Mykelti’s ex-boyfriend (the attempted hormone swapper) comes over for a photograph after the graduation ceremony which is basically his last ditch effort to be on television. She finds it very random that he came by to wish her well, but whatevs. She’s undecided as to whether she’ll practice polygamy in her own marriage. Back home, Kody, Meri, Christine, and Robyn embarrass themselves dancing and lip syncing. It’s cringe-worthy reality TV at its finest. Mykelti requested a tea party for her graduation celebration, hoping the classy theme, decor, and food would encourage guests to act accordingly. It sounds like the poor girl forgot who her family is! Oh my goodness, I can’t even watch their performance. Kody is tragic, but thankfully, Mykelti isn’t easily embarrassed. Instead, she gets up to join them. 

After that awkward investor pitch, Kody now thinks he’d rather keep the family business small and own it all. TLC has called in a local business owner to share her advice. Robyn is in her truest form (the whiny, obstinate one). When the business owner suggests selling products from other vendors, Robyn is silently fuming. She only wants to see the products that the family designs. Unfortunately, she also wants more money and less work so she can have another baby. Janelle and Christine remind her that the thing they’ve been doing clearly isn’t working. Not finding an ally in Kody either (he just wants to sell stuff, he doesn’t seem to care what), Robyn whines to Meri that they are totally trying to ruin My Sister Wife’s Closet by selling stuff people will actually want to buy. 

Wow, I never realized how much Maddie looks like Janelle until her mom sports the Angry Maddie wig. Logan drew the short straw and is called in to narrate the video. Meri does a great Kody, and poor Maddie’s initial hatred of Vegas is chronicled. I am actually cracking up the entire time they are making this video. At the graduation ceremony, Madison must give a speech because she is the student body president. The family is extremely proud of her accomplishments.  Maddie’s party is a crawfish boil, and her brothers are going to miss her when she heads back to Utah for college. Her family screens their video, and Maddie finds it hilarious. 

Robyn’s son Dayton was in a terrible ATV accident a few years ago which left him with a drooping eyelid. He is having plastic surgery to rectify the issue, and he will be awake for the procedure. Dayton and Robyn are both understandably nervous. Kody explains that the surgeon would not normally allow a child of his age to be awake during the surgery, but because of Dayton’s Asperger Syndrome, he should be highly focused if he’s awake during the operation. Again, I am always in awe of how normal and well-adjusted these children are.

Mykelti is hoping to get an internship with a local designer. Kody believes that the fashion industry is too over sexualized, and he hopes that his daughter will remember her moral sensibilities and be the designer who bring class back to the industry. He’s complaining about the fashion industry while sporting the ugliest denim shirt I’ve ever seen. Christine and Kody are accompanying Mykelti on her interview with designer David Tupaz. Kody is bored stiffer than his hair, and Christine has donned her most bedazzled jeans for the occasion. David goes through Mykelti’s portfolio, and he gives her practical advice. She is very passionate about design.

Kody and Robyn are dropping off a My Sister Wife’s Closet display at a local shop that wants to sell the Brown’s wares. Kathy, the store owner, is making the pair a bit uncomfortable with her joking about wanting to join the family. Kody’s ego speaks out of turn, and he insists that he will not be taking on any other wives. Kathy quips that she doesn’t want to be Kody’s wife…she had someone else in mind. That’s right, people! She’s a lesbian polygamist! Spin-off to come in 5, 4, 3, 2… Robyn seems a bit judgmental about Kathy and her life partner(s), but glass houses, Robyn! As Robyn complains about the integrity of My Sister Wife’s Closet getting lost in their quest for money, Kody beats his chest and throws around the fact he’s CEO. I hate to break it to him, but he’s CEO of some really ugly baubles.

On Father’s Day, Dayton is going in for his surgery. Robyn doesn’t want to be late, but she nags that her son’s shorts are too short…they come to his knees. I do feel badly for Robyn as I can’t imagine the fear that comes with your child going into surgery. After the procedure, Kody is planning yet another “celebration” for Maddie before she leaves for Utah the following day. How many parties does this family need to have? Dayton’s surgery was a success, and Robyn hopes he’s feeling up to celebrating with the family a bit before resting. “Our family has a lot of parties,” Kody opines as the wives start laying out a bazillion pizzas. You don’t say. The poor family is totally partied out.

The following morning, Janelle and Maddie are trying to get the car packed. Everyone is grumpy, overly tired, and emotional about taking her to college. She has gotten a scholarship and an on-campus job that starts the summer before her freshman year. When they arrive at her new apartment (um, college housing has come a long way!), Janelle goes right into mom mode wanting to get the place outfitted. Kody is complaining that the school is too far away from Vegas, and he’s struggling to remember things from Maddie’s childhood. He was just so busy back then. Kody reminds his daughter that no means no, and there is nothing like a good eyeball gouge if Maddie receives any unwanted advances. Madison is just ready for her parents to cut the cord and head back to Las Vegas. Janelle is so proud (and so sweet), and these kids never cease to impress me. That said, Kody hopes that being away at college will make Madison miss having a relationship with him. At least it’s not all about him…


[Photo Credit: TLC]

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