Last night’s Southern Charm has nothing on the drama currently unfolding via social between Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel, but I’ll take Shepard “Shep” Rose dancing a gig or Craig Conover prolonging adulthood to cap off my Monday night no matter what! Just so you’re up on Facebook status deletions, after T-Rav’s late night rant last week, Kathryn retaliated with a post accusing Thomas of sleeping with one of her friends while she was pregnant with their daughter. It’s the Internet, y’all. That stuff doesn’t disappear!
T-Rav and Kathryn are packing for a trip to town, and she’s beyond ready to move back to Charleston. Edisto is such a haul! She questions why Jennifer Snowden was in attendance at Thomas’ dinner at Sermets to announce running for U.S. Senate. Is Jennifer a friend? A confidante? An ex? After all, Thomas has always maintained to her that he barely knows Jennifer. T-Rav knows Kathryn has been through a lot in the last year, and her young age causes her to suffer from insecurity. Kathryn found his behavior to be both disrespectful and inappropriate, and all he can do is tuck his tail between his legs and utter a soft apology.
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Shep and Whitney Sudler-Smith are moving into their summer beach house. Shep wants nothing more than to bum around in his bathing and play in the ocean all summer, and he thinks it’s hilarious that his vampire-ish friend has decided to join him. Shep is unpacking all of Las Olas while Whitney brings in a fresh new duvet. Du-what? Whitney can’t believe that Shep doesn’t know bedding terminology, and Shep hopes the summer will pose the opportunity for him to teach only child Whitney how to play nice and share his toys…and maybe his girlfriend. It won’t be an easy feat, but the affable Shep is up to the challenge. Whitney reveals that his much younger German model/actress girlfriend may try to carve time out of her busy schedule to come canoodle by the sea. The two set up the house rules–no hippie music or fat chicks–and decide to throw a bitchin’ housewarming party…catered, of course.
Craig and Cameran Eubanks are going fishing and dishing on T-Rav’s plans to be the next Lindsay Graham. As for his future with Kathryn, Craig doesn’t see any chemistry between T-Rav and his baby mama. He thinks that the pair would be over by now if Kathryn hadn’t gotten pregnant with Kensie. Craig wants a wife and family of his own, but he’s hoping to push that off until mid-thirties. Girls are a hobby not a commitment. Cameran reminds him that he doesn’t have the privilege of being privileged like some of their beach bum counterparts (ahem, see the previous paragraph), and he needs focus on his career. She recommends getting the heck out of the 24/7 playground that is Upper King. That is an asinine suggestion–he still has several clubs where he needs to make VIP status. Cameran wonders aloud if Craig was a nerd in high school. It’s the only explanation for his ridiculous frat boy behavior when he should be pretending to be an adult like the rest of them. Craig admits that he was dorky until eleventh grade, and he’s addicted to this new found attention. Andy Cohen, making late bloomers’ dreams come true since 2005.
Landon Clements is finally getting comfortable on her sailboat, and she’s hosting her sister Powell on the starboard side. Powell is four years younger than Landon and resides in Charleston…on land. Power questions why Landon has yet to file her divorce papers and regain her maiden name. They bond over backgammon, wine, and cheese as Landon shares her shame for being the first person in their family to divorce. Her mother wanted her to stick it out and have the white picket fence, and Landon is nervous to see her now that she’s back on the East Coast. Powell recalls that their mother spent more time mowing the yard than vacuuming the house because she cared so much about outward appearances. She cryptically asks Landon if she thinks their mom is a bit jealous that she didn’t have the same guts as Landon when it came to ending her marriage.
After her discussion with T-Rav, Kathryn still feels unsettled about his friendship with Jennifer. She’s invited Jennifer for drinks at Fuel, and as Jennifer describes her relationship with Thomas, Kathryn arches a brow so high I’m worried it may fly right off her forehead. Jennifer reveals that T-Rav confided in her about his fears concerning fatherhood and a new relationship as Kathryn dumps another shot of tequila into her margarita. Hmmm. Kathryn questions whether Jennifer found this bond to be appropriate given that she didn’t know Kathryn and Kathryn was, you know, pregnant with his child. Inappropriate? Heck no! Kathryn isn’t buying Jennifer’s sweet delivery and side-stepping. Just because she’s younger doesn’t make her naive! Kathryn asks pointblank if Jennifer even had a physical relationship with T-Rav, and she’s met with stammering and more side-stepping. Um, maybe? A few years ago, maybe? Before Kathryn of course, but certainly not since. Kathryn appreciates Jennifer’s honesty, and Jennifer is happy to help her new pal. Plus, everyone’s entitled to a moment or two of crazy, right? Kathryn decides to play along, reminding herself to keep her friends close and her enemies closer.
Out on Sullivan’s Island, Whitney is prepping for their soiree as Shep frolics in the ocean. He knows that the secret to a good party is lots of good booze and food while Shep’s idea of entertaining is picking up an extra case of Coors Lite. Guests begin trickling in, and Landon is worried that Shep is going to trash the place. She hopes that Whitney has enlisted some of Pat’s butlers to keep everything clean and shiny. Cameran realizes that she’s actually shown the house to clients as the owners are selling it fully furnished. She says a silent prayer that the neighbors will make it through the summer with their sanity (and mailbox) intact. Landon’s friend Cooper (who doubles as Patricia’s society escort) is one of Charleston’s premiere menswear designers. He’s having a fashion show to showcase his line, and he just has to have Shep walk the runway. Craig has already taken off work to participate even though he hasn’t been informed of the date yet. Shep’s shoe size is 11 1/2, and Cooper and Landon joke that if the saying is true, he may be disappointing the ladies. Shep assures Cooper that no girl has ever asked for a refund, to which Landon retorts, “Not to your face!”
T-Rav confides in Whitney that Kathryn is running late because she can’t find anything to wear. They laugh about how women are always trying to show up one another with their outfits and shoes. Whitney feels that Kathryn’s beauty routine must be daunting. He surmises that it probably takes a hillbilly femme fatale at least eight hours to apply all the extra extensions, press-on nails and false spider lashes necessary to for a trip to the 7-11, much less a night out on the town. A very uncomfortable Kathryn arrives and suffers through Landon’s air kisses and compliments while doing her best to pretend Whitney doesn’t exist. He’s ignoring her as well, but he can’t help but dismiss her outfit. It took her five hours to decide on white jeans and a white sweater? He’s less than impressed. His trucker hat and pearl snap denim shirt are far more stylish and alluring…
for Ashton Kutcher. If the year was 2001. Thomas declines poker night with the boys so he can be fresh for his campaign ads that Whitney is producing. Craig is floored by the amazing beach house. It’s sure to be a chick magnet even with Shep’s smaller than normal shoe size. Craig air quotes that Whitney will “never bring girls to the house” because he “has a girlfriend,” kind of like how Craig won’t be “practicing law anytime soon” without a “passing the bar.”
When Whitney’s friend and business partner arrives, Planet Hollywood informs him that he’s tired of doing all the work to launch their restaurant while Whitney is traipsing around Europe. You can’t see him, but Shep is certainly giggling in the background as he snacks on a delicious cauliflower taco from the Palace Hotel. Whitney knows their recipe will be a huge success, but he doesn’t feel the need to do any work to make that happen. That’s why he fronts the cash. Cameran is still lecturing Craig about his wild ways. She urges him to text her when he goes to bed at 2 AM, but that’s a tall order. Craig’s night is just starting at 2 AM! Thankfully, he’s spared a longer big sister speech because Renob is having an acoustic jam session. I know, I know, Whitney claims the whole “Renob” name was a joke, but I’m not convinced. From Renob to sweet Bonnie (I am so sorry for that segue, Bonnie!), Cameran’s mom gifts Cameran with a ziplock full of trinkets for children to play with and lodge in their ear canals. I don’t know about y’all, but I think Cameran’s biological clock started ticking the moment she saw the contact lens case disguised as a cheap plastic toy.
The campaign ads are being filmed at Patricia’s mansion, and Whitney chastises T-Rav for choosing an Hermes tie to wear–it’s too elitist. He’s a man of the people now, so he’s going to have to slum it in Ben Silver like he did back in the day. Whitney loses the battle, but it’s a win for all of us as Thomas dances with young girls clad in skintight dresses with a DJ fist pumping in the background. He’ll raise the roof, but he won’t raise taxes! Perfection. Patricia interrupts to straighten T-Rav’s tie. She laughs that no one is perfect, but a child out of wedlock and a cocaine conviction aren’t the best resume builders. He wouldn’t make the short list for her butler interview for sure. Across town, Cameran is fixing (not cooking, mind you) a five star meal for husband with a little help from Stouffers and her microwave before recycling the evidence. She declines an invitation to go clubbing with Craig for a night in with Jason. Plus, it’s a week night, and she, unlike Craig, probably has to work in the morning.
Kathryn and Thomas are dining at Red Drum, and she really wants to focus on making their relationship work. She truly loves him and proposes a weekly date night to ensure they have some quality alone time. T-Rav is still struggling with their age difference, but he’s trying to work through his issues. He tells her about the day’s filming, citing she may not like one of the ads where he’s boogie-ing with her sorority big sister and a few other friends. Perhaps this was the wayward godmother? Upon learning this news, Kathryn is humiliated and disgusted. She thinks this part of Whitney’s plot to cause drama in their relationship. How can Thomas be fine with a cheesy promo but not want his girlfriend and their daughter on the campaign trail? T-Rav sputters that they didn’t have the budget for a big family video…probably because he had to buy that Hermes tie. Thomas thinks Kathryn is overreacting and as he ignores her gripes in favor of a tasty looking arugula salad. She is clearly hurt that he used her friends in the video, and he refuses to apologizes, saying he did nothing wrong. She tosses her napkin in his face before storming out of the restaurant (before the snapper entree? For shame!), and Thomas, remembering his manners (for once), stands upon her exit. Really Bravo, TBC this early in the season? What a tease!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WAS THE CAMPAIGN HILARIOUS OR DISRESPECTFUL?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]