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Little Women: LA unleashed a big news item yesterday that will surely rock the worlds of every baby-thirsty castmate on its roster: Elena Gant is indeed pregnant with twins! She and Preston expect the babies in June and, so far, mom-to-be is healthy and happy. (No word on whether the babies have been determined to be little or average sized yet.) Yay for Elena and Preston! Not sure when the big reveal will happen on the current season’s timeline, but it sure throws some perspective on Elena’s anger at Jasmine Sorge not inviting her to that “mommy” party in episode one, does it not? Hmmm. Now, on to the show!

At Jasmine’s father’s restaurant, she and her hubby Chris are discussing how working there is going for him. It’s not his dream job, obviously, but until he finds in-state railroad work, it’ll do. In the spirit of extending an olive branch to Elena, Jasmine wants to invite all of the ladies and their significant others to a “couples” party at the restaurant. Chris admits it might feel awkward for him to be busing tables while the party ensues, but sweet guy that he is, says he’ll go with the flow for Jasmine’s sake. Dang, woman! Can’t you at least schedule this party on a night that the better other half of YOUR couple can attend as a guest!?  

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Over at Terra Jole’s house, Tonya Banks is popping by for some wine and gossip. The besties haven’t seen each other for about a week. Terra’s 7-month old daughter Penny has been in the hospital battling some neck issues (from complications due to being a little person), for which she had to undergo neck compression surgery. Aww, poor little wee one! But, where has Tonya been while all of this has been going on with Terra? Busy with Kerwin, who was in town hanging from Tonya’s fishing hook. Terra’s royally pissed off that Tonya hasn’t been there for her during this ordeal, but lets only a few snide remarks slip before asking about Tonya’s delusional relationship.

Tonya still maintains Kerwin is suddenly the ONE, despite having blown him off for the past umpteen years. Kerwin is jealous of her business partnership with ex-boyfriend Jaa, though, so she might have to sever professional (just lol’d while I typed that word) ties with him to gain Kerwin’s trust. What about the woman Kerwin is, er, LIVING with? wonders Terra. That tie ain’t severed yet. And it certainly ain’t professional! Tonya’s not worried about that heifer. She’s got Kerwin in her target cross hairs and this other woman doesn’t stand a chizz-ance.

Bonnie and Clyde are at a fertility clinic (Another fertility storyline on this show!? Lord almighty, I don’t know if we have the stamina for this…) to check on Briana Renee’s chances of getting pregnant with Rosemary’s baby. She’s concerned about her abnormal cycles and the fact that she recently felt pregnancy symptoms, but turned out not to be pregnant. She needs an internal ultrasound, which is a painful process for little people, to check out her ovaries. Matt Ericson is by Briana’s side in his best “Things Just Got Weird” shirt offering support. Seems about right. 

The doctor tells Briana that she has polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). This is troubling news for any woman looking to conceive, but even more so for a little woman who faces multiple challenges with her fertility. The good news is that Briana can get a medication to regulate her cycles and PCOS is not prohibitive in conception. The doctor assures her that she’ll be successful in getting pregnant again, which is reassuring for Briana…but the worst case scenario for Briana’s family. The orange alert just went to red, yo.  

Elena is practicing her makeover skills on Tonya while catching the dirt on Kerwin’s latest visit. Tonya trusts Elena with information about Kerwin because Elena’s not judging the situation as harshly as Terra is. #We’llSeeAboutThat! Conversation turns to Jasmine’s couples party, which Tonya thinks is in poor taste, as she hasn’t clubbed her man over the head and dragged him back to her cave yet. But, yeah. Why is Jasmine all about the label-parties? Just have a damn party and take a seat! Elena is wary about attending too, but she’s willing to try.

At a very different kind of couples party, Christy McGinity and Todd are in therapy together. They confess that they’re at an impasse of sorts with fertility issues, potentially adopting a baby, Todd’s weight, Christy’s insufferable mother living with them…the list goes on. The biggest issue (no pun intended!), according to Christy, is Todd’s weight. She claims his over-eating is killing him and wants him to have gastric bypass surgery. Todd’s not a fan of this idea. The therapist asks if Todd feels motivated enough to make a change to avoid surgery? He agrees to a 3-month commitment to losing weight, to which Christy thinks the therapist will help hold him accountable.

On the home front, Christy and Todd are still house-hunting, and the one they’re touring today just might make the cut. There are stairs, which presents a problem for Todd. And let’s get real for a moment here: He truly can barely climb the stairs on this tour. Wow. Despite this obvious hurdle, Christy pushes that THIS is the house for them. They’re moving forward on it. #SorryTodd #YouGot3MonthsDude

Tonya’s on the phone with Kerwin b*tching about Jasmine’s couples party. Is he going to be part of this couple in Tonya’s head or not? Tonya asks. Kerwin hasn’t mentioned word one to his “lady friend,” let along packed so much as a sandwich bag, which shocks Tonya. Does he want to be with her or not!? she demands. Kerwin’s trigger finger is not so itchy these days after Tonya’s been so wishy-washy with him in the past. He’s not ready to make a decision yet. So Little Boss will just have to cool her jets and put that I HEART KERWIN t-shirt back in the bottom drawer for now. (Note: No matter what comes of this messyboots situation, Kerwin’s “lady friend” sure has some interesting TV viewing going on lately, huh? #LadyFriendGotDoneDirty! #JusticeForLadyFriend!)

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It’s the night of Jasmine’s couples party, and sadly, Chris has to work. He’ll be serving drinks to the crew tonight rather than partaking himself. This behavior is no bueno, Jasmine. #FREECHRIS!!! As the couples assemble, plus a salty single Tonya, Joe offers to be her date for the night. No thanks, thinks Tonya. She’d rather be the eleventh wheel. And she’d rather sit at the kids table. So she leaves the group to isolate in peace.  

Speaking of salty, Elena shows up next and wonders why this party is dedicated to couples, given the decidedly unromantic feel of the the night. Elena (who’s drinking soda, not wine because…preggers!) joins Tonya at TABLE OF SINGLE GAL SHAME to b*tch about Jasmine’s enforcement of all things couple-y. Tonya claims Elena understands her better than anyone does – even Terra. Since Terra is not feeding into Tonya’s pipe dreams of snatching Kerwin up out of his current relationship and inserting him squarely into hers, Elena is the only one left for support. So she’s suddenly Tonya’s bestie now? Mmmmmkay. Convenient. 

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Outside the restaurant, Christy pulls Briana aside to make an attempt at rebuilding their relationship. She apologizes for her part in inappropriate words she used against Briana last year, but Briana is unwilling to say sorry herself. Incredulous, Christy can’t believe Briana is STILL unwilling to apologize for her lies and manipulation. “I love you,” says Christy, but she still doesn’t understand how Briana can be so controlled by Matt that she’d cut off communication with her family. Briana doesn’t understand why Christy can’t just let this family issue go; it’s not her family, after all. “We should just go get some tacos,” sighs Christy. Because that’s all there is left to say. 

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But who needs tacos when you’ve got a pinata filled with sex toys and a bunch of angsty women ready to smash that sh*t up!?!? Most of the gals get in on the smash and grab except Elena, who’s not into playing pretend with Jasmine right now. When Jasmine asks why Elena isn’t participating, she goes off on Jasmine about the ridiculousness of this couples party, which only serves to make Tonya feel uncomfortable and Chris (Jasmine’s OWN husband) act as the hired help for the evening.

For whom is this Couples Party, with a capital C and P, intended? Elena wonders why Jasmine has to be so exclusionary in her invites; can’t she just throw a stinkin’ party with a small p and be done with it? Jasmine feels damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t, claiming she is trying to include everyone. Mmmm Hmm. Then, great hostess that she is, Jasmine tells Tonya and Elena to either sit here and enjoy themselves or leave. Elena pipes up that not being invited to the mommy party was hurtful, but Jasmine retorts that Elena hasn’t been very nice to her in the past anyway. So, meh. Take that! Then the kindergarten recess whistle blows and the girls have to head back in from recess. My god. (Is it nap time yet?)

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Ultimately, Jasmine does apologize for not inviting Elena to her mommy party, admitting that it was a mistake. Then in a misguided (but totally expected!) move, Terra inserts herself into the argument, which simply directs the wrath her way. As the Great and Powerful Eye of Sauron shifts from Jasmine to Terra, Tonya unleashes her beef (courtesy of Elena’s prodding) about not being supported during her “sensitive situation” with Kerwin. She chokes up telling Terra she’s always there for her, no matter what.

And that’s all the kerosene Terra needs to ignite the hell fire within. She flips out – I repeat – FLIPS OUT on Tonya at this remark, screaming “WHERE WERE YOU WHEN PENNY WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!?!?” repeatedly. “Do not say you are there for me because you are NOT there for me!” she screams. Tonya defends that she is always there for her, but can’t get a word in edgewise in the midst of Terra’s Total Nuclear Meltdown. Mid-frenzy, Terra tries to leave, but Elena and Tonya grab their purses and beat her to it. Elena screams “Don’t invite me to these events!” on her way out. She doesn’t have time for this bullsh*t.

Thoughts: Does Terra deserve to be indignant about Tonya going MIA on her during Penny’s surgery? Yeah, I think so. I can’t imagine a best friend not being by my side during a frightening situation like that with my child. But do we know the full story here? Probably not. One thing’s for certain: Terra throwing a glass at Christy’s head further into this season is now fully plausible – complete with moving picture previews! – in my head after seeing her give a whole new meaning last night to the term: “Going Ballistic.”  

TELL US: DO YOU THINK JASMINE SHOULD HAVE THROWN A PARTY JUST FOR COUPLES? IS TONYA A BAD FRIEND? WILL ELENA AND JASMINE EVER FIND COMMON GROUND? IS BRIANA INCAPABLE OF OWNING HER SH*T? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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