Last week, we watched what the Shahs of Sunset do what they do best – throw expensive parties and drink too much. This week, we are starting to see how each cast member’s story line will shape up over the course of the season.
Reza Farahan ponders how to surprise-marry his jilted groom, Adam Neely. Mercedes “MJ” Javid gives us a glimpse into her relationship with the loud-talking, derrière-loving Tommy Feight, who will put a ring on it this season (hopefully on camera). Asa Soltan Rahmati starts yet another business, blessed by essential oils and herbs. Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido already show cracks in their marriage, which Mike thinks he can fix with money once his new shoe line launches. Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi continues her downward spiral of bad behavior, fueled by alcohol and rage while Shervin Roohparvar tries in vain to contain her.
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We start in the aftermath of Shervin’s 35th birthday/white party. GG wakes up and wanders into daylight looking fresh as a daisy, completely coherent and ready to seize the day. Just kidding. She is every bit of the smudged mascara and eye makeup and raging hangover we would expect and my guess is its well into the afternoon when she rasps “morning” to Shervin, who is lounging by the pool, trying to look nonchalant.
GG admits she doesn’t know how she ended up at Shervin’s house and in his bed. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess this isn’t the first time she has experienced this kind of unsolved mystery. Shervin tells her that he slept on the couch, presumably, so she could have the bed. So you mean to tell me that last night, he rented a $30M yacht and he doesn’t have a guest room at his house? #disappointed
GG looks back on the night with her rose-colored sunglasses – it was mostly fun, lots of laughing, and oh yeah, some sort of cake fight. Naturally, she doesn’t remember the part where she turned into a devil-monster from hell. Shervin is scared for GG. Things get deep and they talk about how GG risks her own self and body. GG talks about being triggered into anger, being uncontrollable and a “wild animal” who likes to “see blood.” Also, she doesn’t like “feeling feelings.” Might I suggest an exorcism? Or maybe something more manageable like, not drinking to the point of oblivion?
Over at a more productive side of town, Mike checks in with his business partner and decides to bust out his best t-shirt and backwards baseball hat to work on “building an empire.” Not just any empire, people, a SHOE empire.
Apparently, the self-described “shoe head” is THAT passionate about shoes and wants to capitalize off this passion. He poetically describes his great shoe visions and how he wants each of his shoes to tell a story. Wow, I can only imagine all of the exciting tales a pair of sneakers will have in store for us. Forget real estate – if you want to rule the world, you must start with story-telling shoes. Mike explains that one day, a guy will get laid because of his “dope shoes” and high-five him for it. Reach for the stars, Mike.
At Reza’s condo, Asa stops by in another fabulous bodycon dress. I’m starting to feel like Asa went into the wrong dress silhouette business and should ditch the kaftans for bodycon! She wears them well. They immediately jump into GG’s terrible attitude and Reza decides he needs to play Judge Judy and make change happen for GG.
MJ shows up (side note: I’m really loving her lighter hair) and Reza tells her about his plan to have Asa ordained so they can go to his Palm Springs house and have a “flash mob”-style wedding. Every groom’s dream, I’m sure. MJ immediately plays the voice of reason (what is happening??) and explains to him
what everyone is thinking why it’s not very wise to spring a wedding on someone who was stood up a year ago. Listen to her for once, Reza!
MJ decides to surprise her mom, Vida, by taking her dog, Ziggy, to a groomer to
waste money spruce up her look. MJ launches into a whole description of what she is looking for in Ziggy’s new look and even brings along a stuffed cheetah/cat toy for inspiration. After a very long-winded outline of what she wants for poor, unsuspecting Ziggy, she goes into very degrading detail on how Ziggy’s, errrr, parts should be trimmed. To the dog stylist’s credit, she patiently waits to snort back a laugh until the very end when MJ finishes her speech on the importance of dog modesty and hygiene. I will spare you the details.
Asa is busy blessing her blessed kaftans with frankincense at home. She was nice enough to hire her dad and her brother to run the “warehouse” of her latest business venture, which is actually an old refrigerator in her cramped house. OK, I was not expecting that. I wonder if all of Asa’s customers know that their kaftans are being shipped direct from a Maytag kitchen appliance? Asa mentioned it’s not easy to be her dad’s boss. Yeah, because I’m sure it’s really easy for her dad to be selling leopard print kaftans out a refrigerator as a job.
MJ and her Prince Charming, Tommy, pick up Ziggy and the dog stylist doesn’t disappoint. Ziggy comes out looking like a stuffed animal and I can’t imagine a dumber way to spend money on a dog than this haircut/dye job combo. Then they put a Louis Vuitton coat on Ziggy and I CAN imagine a dumber way to spend money on a dog.
MJ and Prince Charming head over to meet Vida for lunch to show off poor Ziggy’s ambush makeover and spring their relationship on her. Tommy finds a way to admire MJ’s “coochie” and even ruin Thelma and Louise by saying that they went over a cliff because Thelma was looking at Louise’s butt. I have never seen someone more worthy of being ripped to shreds by Vida.
Things start off rocky because Vida is angry about Ziggy being turned into a stuffed animal. While Vida “churns and destroys” MJ’s soul as they eat, Tommy decides to try and stick up for MJ. Vida shuts it down quick and lectures him on Persian culture. Tommy, ever the gentleman around his new girlfriend’s mother, doesn’t back down and tells Vida she has a pessimistic outlook on love. The rest is a blur of thick New York accent, animated hand gestures, and calling Vida “baby” at one point. Tommy exclaims that if he had the money, there would be a ring on MJ’s finger. Vida wants none of this and breaks it down – he’s not a good match for MJ. OK, that went well.
Mike and Jessica continue their quest to have the healthiest marriage possible – not emotionally, but physically, and they pay $27 for juice while talking about how terrible they are with money. Please save all that green juice money for something that will actually help, like when couple’s therapy. I actually feel bad for Jessica while watching this. Here she is, fretting over their financial state and how it will affect their future when she gets pregnant and has a baby and she doesn’t seem to have any idea how badly her marriage is about to go.
Jessica says they can’t even get approved to buy a house right now and Mike blames the collapse of the housing market, which for anyone who doesn’t live under a rock, was close to 10 years ago at this point. Does anyone remember Mike bragging about his $10K tux and super expensive wedding one episode ago? Mike tries to soothe Jessica’s financial fears by making sure she is ride or die in support of his dope shoe empire that he is busy hustling for. I have yet to see Mike hustle for anything outside of getting a drink but Jessica supports his shoe dreams unequivocally. Bless her heart.
Asa is having a party at her house and Reza arrives dressed as The Hamburglar with Adam in tow. Mercedes and Tommy show up, and within 2 seconds of being on camera, he finds a way to talk about her butt again, this time, by calling it a “caboose.” Asa admits he’s rough around the edges. They manage to change the conversation from butts (Tommy has nothing to talk about now) and discuss GG hitting rock bottom. They vow they address this with GG face to face.
While the crew is busy discussing GG’s rock bottom, GG is wasting no time hitting it by heading out on the town with Shervin and Nima. GG wants to just have fun, enjoy, get to a happy place, and laugh (her words). This all sounds great until we cut to GG pounding drinks and stumbling around the club like a baby deer trying to stand for the first time.
Reza, Adam, and Marty, a/k/a “Tini” their adorable rescue pooch, head out to get some froyo and Reza takes a moment to actually talk to Adam about important things, like buying a house and getting married. Adam drops a bomb and says Reza took something that was supposed to be special and made it “not so special.” You really can’t blame Adam here and as much as I think Reza does want to marry Adam, he doesn’t seem to be taking care of Adam’s concerns in moving towards that step. Reza wants to know what he missed in Adam’s 180 on marriage. Well, for starters, you missed actually marrying him, as scheduled, a year ago. I’m not sure what is in store for these two but I do hope they can figure it out. I guess we will just have to stay tuned.
Photo Credit: Bravo