Ladies Of London Recap: Tiaras Make You Tipsy

It’s a royal circus this week as the Ladies Of London celebrate the queen’s birthday – by getting tipsy and arguing in the street! Just as her highness would wish. Long live the drama! When Juliet Angus takes Caroline Fleming and Caroline Stanbury on a pub crawl through the East End, they decide to call each other out on important issues like who eats fruit and why. Across town, Sophie Stanbury gets her groove back on a tipsy outing with Marissa Hermer, who feigns shock at this “new Sophie” on the prowl. Marissa also takes issue with some of the ladies giving her the side eye over leaving baby Sadie at home just weeks after a difficult delivery.

But before that mess begins, Marissa and Sadie visit Caroline F for a stroll and a coffee. Marissa, who reminds us she’s still not allowed to have sex postpartum, is ready to party (within reason). She and Caroline discuss Caroline’s sister, who Marissa is very close with – and who’s also moved back to Denmark. They move to the topic of Caroline S, who’s “not herself” lately, according to word on the street. The street that Marissa lives on, at least.

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Caroline F doesn’t fully trust this Marissa character, who’s trying to innocently question why Caroline S is moving to Dubai – but who more likely might be trying to fuel the gossip about Caroline S running away from her failed business in London. Caroline F doesn’t take the bait though, shutting down anything Marissa has heard about Caroline S as idle gossip. The Baroness doesn’t have time for this drivel! She’s busy holding together the family estate one vegan cookbook at a time, yo!

At Juliet’s home, she’s on the phone with her blog brand manager, Grace, while Caroline S is at home taking out her anger on “Sophie’s face” during a boxing workout, and Julie Montagu is planning a trip to Wisconsin for her parents’ wedding anniversary. Later on, Juliet is apparently being awarded a smidgen of storyline in the form of her meeting with Grace and Christie, Juliet’s blog assistant. The blog is growing into more of a business than a hobby, but Juliet is having a tough time keeping up. She’s got a family to feed and a dog to walk, after all.

Christie encourages/berates Juliet about her content, which needs to be beefed up to compete with these young bloggers out there who have a bazillion followers just for tweeting their a$$less chaps pics thrice per day. Juliet, a self proclaimed “present mom,” isn’t sure she’s up for the #BloggerLyfe. She also isn’t sure what her blog’s tagline is…? So, um. It’s a work in progress.

Out to lunch with sex-starved hubby Matt, Marissa discusses her true friends. Which now includes insta-bestie, Sophie, who advises her on underwear these days. Then, there’s Juliet, who Marissa still doesn’t trust entirely. She is allowing Juliet to come for a visit to see the bassinet she handed down to Marissa for Sadie, though. She needs some coping mechanisms, like running and sex – neither of which are on the menu right now. As Matt’s face reflects.

In an effort to make her blog more London-fab, Juliet invites the Carolines on a pub crawl in the boho East End to snap some shots and blend in as an aging hipster for the day. Caroline F is not about to blend in with anything but Coco Chanel, herself, though. And when Caroline S runs very late (a general theme with her), Caroline F gets her perfect nose out of joint over the rudeness of it all. Juliet’s all, Be cool! Act like the young people! Snap a selfie of that angry sh*t for my blog! But the Baroness isn’t having it.

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On the west side, Sophie and Adela King are meeting Marissa out to celebrate the queen’s birthday by getting wasted during daylight hours. Decked out in flags and hats, the group get a little frisky at the pub. But sober Adela finally bails on the threesome when sloppiness descends in the form of Sophie trolling for men at the ping pong table and Marissa trying to put the maneater back in her cage.

Back east, Caroline S finally shows up and is called out on her lateness immediately by Caroline F. This will devolve into a war of etiquette and boarding school trauma and fruit preferences in mere moments, I presume. Caroline S sees no issue with her arrival time. In fact, she’s given them a chance to “get a little more sloshed than I am,” so in her world, this is actually a gift! (Like a Gift Library gift? As in, nonexistent?) She also thinks fancy-pants Caroline F needs an orgasm, which according to her sources, should be administered with the aid of a stop watch and detailed instructions. She snarks that the Baroness is “militant about how she likes it done.” WOW.

Out on the street later, the two Carolines get into it. Caroline S doesn’t like the stodgy rules that Caroline F is always bandying about. Despite her bohemian persona, Caroline S levels Caroline F as an old school arbiter of decorum and stringent etiquette. And her act is growing tiresome.

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As evidence, Caroline S brings up an entirely ancient issue that arose at Caroline F’s dinner party a year and a half ago, during which she tried to force fruit down her friend’s fruit-hating gullet. But everybody knows that fruit cannot be forced on the free!!! At least, Caroline S claims so. She’s practically going Braveheart battle cry on the fruit all over again right here in the street, but Caroline F doesn’t see what all of this silly old fruit drama is about.

In the car on their way to another bar, Sophie texts her ex, Alex, to get his ex-trainer’s phone number. This is all totally kosher, according to Sophie The Liberated! Although Marissa is horrified, Sophie claims this is who she’s always been. Sure, her confidence has taken a hit lately, but she’s always been a party girl – and that ain’t about to stop now. (Wait – isn’t this why she claims she and Alex didn’t last? Due to his partying ways? Interesting.)

At their next stop, Marissa and Sophie slur about their day of #BadMoms raging, which they both sorely need. They also apparently need to dance alone in a deserted bar (literally, the only onlooker is a trapped bartender, who’d better be snapping some Instas of this mess between his bouts of riotous laughter).

In Juliet’s much more sour outing across town, Caroline S is still riled up about being questioned on her lateness. She’s also riled up about Marissa spreading sh*t about her, and about Sophie and Marissa spending the day together. Who is this new Sophie? Does she suddenly love everyone who hates Caroline S? In Caroline’s mind, it sure seems that way.

Caroline F calls Caroline S out on her issues: She can’t expect blind loyalty from everyone if she’s going to take jabs at them for the slightest perceived infractions. No, but shouldn’t Caroline S expect loyalty from her long-term friends and relations, no matter what newbie comes into the group to stir up drama? To her credit, Caroline S admits she is pretty jabby. Laughing, the Carolines finally kiss and make up, proving that Fleming is the Stanbury whisperer FOR REAL. She may be needed in every scene going forward if there is to be any peace among the ladies.

The next day, Caroline S and Juliet go out for coffee to discuss the Sophie situation. Caroline must talk to Sophie one on one – she needs to make it right for their children, no matter what. Sophie’s allegiance to Julie is an enormous irritant, but she’s got to get over it. In an effort to extend an olive branch, Caroline and Cem plan to invite ALL of the ladies on a weekend trip to Scotland. Where she plans to show the group how to host a party without house rules and lady of manor bullsh*t dripping from her pores!

Out shopping for Royal Ascot, Sophie and Caroline F have a ball trying on killer hats, then chat about the woman of the hour: Caroline S. Caroline F is still confused about the fruit altercation, and Sophie has had ongoing issues that continue to be a mystery to her (seriously, does this chick not understand her role in the matter!?!?). Sophie plans to meet her sister in law to discuss their issues, but seems to have already made up her mind that Caroline S is the a$$hole and everyone else is her innocent victim. Convenient.

Over at Marissa’s home, Juliet arrives to visit the baby – something Marissa, herself doesn’t want to happen. She actually claims she doesn’t even want Juliet “touching her” which is smarmy and cruel to say about the woman you so willingly accepted a bassinet from. (Even if Marissa does blame it on infection paranoia.) Juliet does get to look at baby Sadie as she lay in that hand-that-rocks-the-cradle nanny’s arms. #Creepy

They discuss Scotland, but Marissa isn’t ready to play nice with Juliet after all of the “mean” things she’s said about her – which now includes questioning her about traveling to NY just weeks after Sadie was born. Juliet defends that she thought Marissa was basically at death’s door, then – poof! – she’s traveling to NY without her baby. Marissa whines that Juliet shouldn’t judge without personal knowledge of the situation. Yes, Marissa. But that’s what people tend to do when you go on and on (and on) about how INTENSE and SERIOUS and LIFE THREATENING a situation is. They treat it as such. Get it?

Juliet counters that Marissa has been having her own loose lips moment lately when it comes to spreading rumors about Caroline S “escaping” to Dubai after her business failings. Marissa claims she never started or spread any dirt concerning Caroline, and that it’s naive for Caroline to assume Marissa capable of spreading what has now become “the biggest rumor in London.”

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Speaking of Caroline S (and, by the way, who’s not at this point!?), she’s creeping through London traffic with Luke, wondering how her imminent lunch meeting with Sophie will go. In her own car, Sophie gets advice over the phone from Julie (which makes me question Sophie’s intelligence), who tells her not to back down. Hmm…because Julie is such a prize fighter in the ring?

At lunch, Caroline S and Sophie kiss, joke about needing some wine, then get right into it. Sophie says she would never intentionally set out to hurt Caroline, and that she truly values their 20-year relationship. Caroline just doesn’t understand why she took sides with Julie, then Adela, and is now cozying up to Marissa. She thinks the old Sophie would back her blindly. Sophie knows she messed up with Julie, but why does she have to be punished forever for one small misstep? “I don’t think the punishment fits the crime,” Sophie defends.

Sophie then asks why Caroline didn’t show up at her son’s birthday party? It killed her. Caroline says it was a simple logistical miscommunication, not a malicious move to involve the children in their drama. Sophie just wants to be mutual friends with everyone, while still remaining close to Caroline. But Caroline says there can be NO copacetic relationship when it comes to Julie – and Julie’s constant jabs at her.

Although both sisters in law are wary, they agree to move forward the best they can from here on in. Their relationship is not the same as it was, but it is a precarious alliance they’re willing to try out. And their trip to Scotland with the entire group will be its first testing ground.

TELL US: CAN CAROLINE AND SOPHIE MOVE ON? IS MARISSA SPREADING GOSSIP ABOUT CAROLINE S? WAS JULIET RIGHT TO QUESTION MARISSA LEAVING SADIE BEHIND DURING HER NY TRIP? 

Photo Credit: Bravo

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