Oh Real Housewives of Orange County – it’s almost time for us to part ways, but not before some magnificent drama. Oh, yes last night’s episode. Oh it was a silly bit of fun. Princess Thespian of All Times Heather Dubrow had a re-naming party which is not at all like a wedding, except it took the same precedence as a wedding in her mind.
And because it was the all-important end of the season cast party when Bravo makes everyone put on their mankiest fur coats and truck out to some godforsaken themed event, everyone was there. Like even the ones that aren’t really there, if you catch my drift.
But before we get to that little shin-dig, we have to wade through the rest of this episode. Things start out with Tamra Barney meeting Heather andGretchen Rossi for drinks cause she has a very special announcement. Tammie Sue is gettin’ married for the very third time.
Oh, Tammie – I love your optimism. This ones really gonna work isn’t it? This is like a Lifetime movie. Did I mention that I am totally obsessed in a big huge way with Lifetime – cause I am. And before you ask – yes, I watched Blue Lagoon.
Because no one at Bravo will give these ladies a muzzle or render their typing finger useless, the former BFFs are outing each other’s secrets in the most nasty, vitriolic feud ever. Celebrity Deathmatch, indeed!
Following Sunday night’s explosive episode, Teresa and Jacqueline have both written novellas in the form of Bravo blogs. Imagine if they put their creative juices and minimal brain power towards good instead of evil?
In her NINE PAGE tome, Teresa address all the elements from Sunday’s explosive fight, which apparently lasted over five hours. Thank goodness we didn’t have to review the unedited footage!
Once upon a time there was a woman named Pinot Singer who thought she knew a lot about everything and thought no one could see through her. Pinot believed her life was like one of those double-sided mirrors where from one side it looked like a window and from the other side it looked like a mirror. She assumed she could clearly see people and they could see only goodness through her eyes.
Pinot believed she reflected goodness, honesty, truthfulness, and pleasant goodwill. Pinot was wrong. Pinot is delusional, but delusion is a powerful drug – more powerful than pinot grigio, that’s for sure!
Last night on Real Housewives of New Yorkthe ladies assembled for a mid-day brunch, everyone but Pinot and LuAnn de Lesseps. Thank goodness. I’m not sure what time it was, but there they all were; this gaggle of desperate famewhores (and Carole Radziwill) all dressed up as if they were going to a nightclub when it was 1 in the afternoon, outside, in a dowtown restaurant.
Do the stars of Teen Mom ever make any good decisions? Ever? Seriously… Anyway in the newest ridiculous story, Chelsea Houska allegedly has big plans to pose for Playboy!
Last week, RadarOnline reported that Chelsea’s brand new website, which she had hired a designer to build, had been shut down for unpaid bills. Chelsea denies that of course, tweeting: ”I decided to not work with the person running it and obviously they’re a little butt hurt.”
Well now the spurned and looking for a check web designer is spilling some secrets about Chelsea – including that she is angling to be a centerfold!
Speaking to the NY Daily News, Bethenny says that she is responsible for Aviva getting her new job! “I actually cast one of them,” she claims. “I cast Aviva. I’m the reason she’s on the show.”
Bethenny says she knows Aviva through a mutual friend. “She is from the upper East Side of Manhattan and was married to somebody that I know,” Bethenny shares. Please tell me Bethenny didn’t also sleep with Aviva’s ex-husband, Harry! “She just seemed like she’d be a good character. She seemed like she’d be part of some drama also on the show.”
No good deed goes unpunished! Following last week’s epic Jersey Shorebar brawl, the cast members are being taken to court! Justin Viterito and Devon Chichele, two of the victims in the fight, are planning a massive lawsuit against Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, J-Woww‘s boyfriend Roger Matthews, MTV, Viacom (the company that owns MTV), the bar’s bouncer, and Bamboo Bar where the brawl took place!
The fight began innocently enough, but quickly spiraled out of control. According to TMZ, Justin Viterito was drinking with Ronnie and Roger but when Devon Chichele approached to find his friend a member of the Jersey Shore entourage “pushed him in the back,” says their lawyer Matthew DiBrino.
Mr. DiBrino alleges that Justin went to help Devon but was physically assaulted by Ronnie in the process after the bouncer held Justin in a headlock allowing Ronnie to hit him in the face.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey there was a knockdown, drag-out war of words. It would appear that this is the beginning of the bitter end for former besties Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita. I hate a reality TV friendship divorce – I feel like I need to have a funeral for Jacqueresa. Next week I’m so wearing black while tuning in.
Some other stuff happened like Lauren Manzo continued to complain about being fat and drinking egg whites while her parents made snippy comments about how she is fat.
So I guess Teresa and Joe Giudice are so broke they’re selling fake stories – or photos – to the tabloids (or volunteering to let the tabloids run stories about them depending on whom you ask and what week), yet they’re building a brand new carport and a garage with an inlaw apartment. Teresa wants her parents to live there. Apparently Teresa has also installed a new closet. I’m sure she cleaned out all of Italy’s marble reserve and all of JoAnn Fabrics fake gold leaf for the accents.
Bethenny Frankel is eager to make the transition from reality star to talk show host. Sadly, that trasnistion has been rocky at best. Since the first twinkling rumor that the Bethenny Ever After star was hoping to move to primetime and score a new gig, she has been plagued by bad news.
First she was too abrasive and no networks wanted her, so she was forced to work with a “nice coach” (a rumor Bethenny denied), then no networks picked up the show and she got dropped – and finally Fox bit after Ellen Degeneres got involved in the production of the show.
Well, following Bethenny’s first week as a talk show host, the limited released show has been plagued by topsy turvy ratings – that according to some are getting lower by the day. Day one of ‘bethenny’ got pretty decent numbers about 1.5 million viewers on average. Which is pretty solid.