Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all!
As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.
First, my apologies for the tardiness of the Mob Wives recap. Someone forgot to set the season pass on her DVR. Second, holy craziness, y’all! They are going all out with the drama this season and we’re only two episodes. Wowsers.
Last night began with Karen Gravano in a music studion. No. Just no. Please tell me she’s not making a record! She reveals that she’s ready to move back to New York so she can be closer to Storm and that her daughter is ready to make the move with her. Renee Graziano stops in for a visit, and thankfully we learn that Karen is just listening to music…not making it. The women rant about Drita D’avanzo wanting to crack Renee’s skull because of a rumor started by Natalie Guercio that Renee didn’t even say! What’s worse? Natalie is total cop-caller. You gotta hate a cop caller! Karen reveals that Storm ran into Natalie’s boyfriend London at a night club, and they had a total man conversation about the girls’ drama. I imagine that’s close…I bet they ran into each other at a strip club, Storm bought London a shot, they dished about the rack on the dancing girl while playing a game of “My girlfriend’s crazier than your girlfriend.”
Over drinks, Natalie and London are rehashing Karen’s rat lifestyle. I am so glad I didn’t self-impose a drinking game with the road rat, because I’d be wasted after those fifteen seconds. London reminds Natalie that they are going to have to see these people given they’re on the same show, and he begs her to take the high road. He’s not bothered by Storm. Natalie talks a big game about how she isn’t scared of Karen, but she also used the phrase “beefin’ on social media” so I just can’t take her seriously.
I think someone is starting to realize that she may not be mean and scary enough to channel her inner cage fighter, which makes her not the best match for a reality show like Mob Wives. We’ve all seen last season’s spandex wearing newbie talk a big game, but Natalie Guercio doesn’t seem big on the face-to-face confrontations and physical altercations. Of course, that’s not a bad thing (dare I say it’s normal?), but it doesn’t mesh with the actions (and right hooks) of her counterparts.
Season five premiered on Wednesday, and Natalie, at least in the beginning, has seemingly aligned herself with the lovable Big Ang and the foul-mouthed, face crushing fighter with a heart of gold, Drita D’Avanzo. I do adore that pair! Of course, Renee Graziano, currently hating everyone except for Karen Gravano, is out for blood when it comes to Natalie. What does Natalie have to say about things?
Thank God for the highlight reel of last season’s Mob Wives before last night’s premiere! I had totally forgotten just how crazy Renee Graziano is, how much I adore Big Ang, and just how delicious the whole crew is. Bring Karen Gravano (as a blonde!) back into the mix, and we’ve got a legitimate World War III brewing right on VH1!
The reformed Drita D’Avanzo is happily recoupled with the recently released Lee. They are running three businesses, which is better than when Drita just wanted to run to the next fight. I’m glad to see she’s still tight with Ang, who has just renovated a new house. The women are ready for a girls’ night out, and they plan to include Natalie Guercio now that she’s a respectful and reformed Philadelphian. Because of Ang and Drita’s willingness to hang out with Natalie, Renee has turned on her two most loyal friends. They reveal that she’s been talking smack about them all over Staten Island just because they refuse to freeze out her nemesis. Wait, why is Natalie Renee’s most hated rival? Oh, that right, because Natalie once told Renee’s date he smelled delicious.