Last week on Big Rich Texas, Kalyn Braun got herself fired from the ranch (where she scooped poop) for flirting with the boys and showing too much boob. News traveled quickly around Woodhaven, of course, and Whitney Whatley just couldn't resist the opportunity to call Kalyn a slut at the Texas Diva Reboozing party. Insults were slurred… glass was broken… Kalyn's almost mommy came to her rescue.
Dragging Kalyn to the car,Leslie Birkland demands, "How could you not tell me you got fired?" Kalyn is all like, whatever… all I did was flirt with boys. Tyler quips, "Hopefully just flirting." Kalyn declares, she's had a rough night and wants to stop talking about it. Leslie says, "We'll talk about it when I want to talk about it… and I want to talk about it tomorrow." Hilarious. Way to be all stern and stuff. Leslie informs Kalyn that she's now working with her at Life's A Pageant. I'm not sure if that's a step up or a step down from the ranch.
Bright and early the next day, we learn that Bonnie Blossman hopes her Fiona Frost book series makes her the next J.K. Rowling. The second book of the series is ready, which calls for a party. Bonnie explains, "The main suspects of the book are a teen vampire cult, so I'm having a vampire-themed launch party." Naturally, Bonnie and Whitney shop for costumes for the party. While shopping for vampire gear, Bonnie asks Whitney why she went after Kalyn at the Texas Diva party. The short answer is… Kalyn's a skank.
Last night was the season premiere of Real Housewives of Atlanta – and so far, I'm liking things. We checked in with all the housewives, where we learned that the more some people change, the more they stay the same! And we unfortunately met new Housewife, Kenya Moore.
She made a helluva a first impression – I now totally associate Kenya with "coochie crack." Here's how she introduced herself: She yelled "coochie crack" at the top of her lungs about 20 times, then screamed 'SECURITY!' like she was some sort of A-Lister up there with Victoria Beckham. Right, so this one's a live-wire!
Things begin with the very, very richMs. NeNe Leakes, who is channeling Bret Michaels realness with that bandana. Surprisingly Greggalicious is also part of the equation. He's fetching her mail and begging her for some love. My how the tables have turned now that NeNe holds the keys – and the wallet! NeNe is playing coy about rekindling things with Gregg. C'mon – you know these two are meant to be and I sort of love them together.
NeNe explains that she's also been method acting and exuding her inner Kim Zolciak by practicing trailer living on the set of The New Normal. And our first kapow of the season. I have so missed my NeNeisms.
Those crazy ladies who spend their days threatening to cut one another, visiting their husbands and boyfriends in jail, and ruling the streets of Staten Island have started filming a new season of the original Mob Wives. However, like many on the east coast, Drita D'Avanzo, Big Ang, Carla Facciolo, Karen Gravano, Renee Graziano, and Ramona Rizzo were affected by Hurricane Sandy, and production of the show was recently shut down due to the super storm.
In the aftermath of the storm that killed twenty-two people on Staten Island, the show's producer Jennifer Graziano wants to show how the ladies are coping and volunteering in their home town. After a week out of commission, cameras started following Big Ang, Drita, and Ramona as they headed out after Sandy.
Evelyn Lozada has had a tough year. I mean the lady had one of the shortest marriages, like, ever – even shorter than Kim Kardashian's! With all the drama in her personal life the Basketball Wives star has turned to exercise and healthy eating.
Evelyn recently landed a huge, six-figure endorsement deal to promote an organic and caffeine free energy shot called youthH2O. And she's not stopping there! Apparently Evelyn (whose spinoff Ev and Ocho was canceled before it even aired) is planning for a life post-reality TV and she's decided the way to make bank is in the fitness market.
Is there anyone from the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey who isn't embroiled in legal drama? Kidding! That is totes a rhetorical question! Once again, I'm glad I have more sense than money (although given my bank account, that may not be saying much!). What is it about being rich and on reality television that leads people to make shady decisions? That question you can answer!
With all of the ladies spewing illegal and scandalous secrets on the reunion, of course we're going to be hearing more and more about these woes in the coming months. First up is the lawsuit that Jacqueline Laurita and her family are facing. It ain't pretty, y'all…that's for sure!
Welcoming the fifth season, Cynthia Bailey dishes on what we can expect – and how things have changed since She By SheBroke left and Kim spent most of the season MIA due to pregnancy.
"I don’t even know what to expect because it just changed the whole dynamic of the group with two people missing and two other ones came in. I think there definitely will be a lot of drama, but we're not as divided as we were last season," Cynthia tells Complex. "We are around each other a lot more this season, which only means more drama! I personally think this is going to be my best season because my storyline is just so much stronger."