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The famewhore parents-of-the-year are at it again. Michael Lohan is stamping his feet and crying foul to any media outlet who’ll listen because his ex-wife, Dina Lohan, has landed herself not one, but TWO new reality shows.

Dina is slated to star on both “Hollywood Exes” and “DramaMamas“. It’s the latter show that has Michael up in arms. The series will feature Dina and others mentoring youngsters who are hoping to make it on Broadway.

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Finally, The Bachelorette puts the viewer’s need for travel porn above Emily Maynard’s need to keep her daughter Ricki close to home.  We’re off to Bermuda!  I hope beautiful sandy beaches mean beautiful shirtless men.

The first date card goes to Doug Clerget.  It reads, “Let our senses lead the way.”  Doug remembers there’s a rose on the one-on-one dates.  The guys talk about how much it would suck to come all the way to Bermuda only to have to go right back home.  They’re right, that would suck, but probably not as much as a lifetime with Emily.

I know, I know, America’s sweetheart, search for true love, and all that jazz.  Let’s just agree to compare notes come mid-July.  This season is going to be a smashing success of a love story just to spite me, isn’t it?

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Real Housewives of New York is officially back! Well, ok – tonight it is. The ladies of the Big Apple are returning with three new Housewives who already have major drama with some of the original cast.

Speaking out about opening up her life for reality TV is Sonja Morgan, whose zany antics and truly kooky ways have earned her a lot of fans and a lot of side-eye.

Speaking to LifestyleMirror.com, Sonja reveals that way back in season one of the now iconic reality show she was approached to join the cast, but chose not too. In those days Sonja was married to John Adams Morgan and letting television cameras into her business wasn’t for her.

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Let’s talk about hypocrites… we see a lot of those on reality TV. Something we also see a lot of is impending nervous breakdowns – and it seems to me we’re witnessing a scary combination of the two in Caroline Manzo. Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was supposed to be about gay rights with the celebration of Jaime Laurita‘s wedding and Rosie Pierri accepting her own sexuality – sadly it was eclipsed by Caroline vs. Teresa Giudice with Caroline serving up more pettiness and more spite. This show was also about sibling relationships – and so many of these reality sibs actually have some pretty abysmal ones.

Things begin with Teresa and Gia having a chat about Teresa’s never peaceable relationship with Joe Gorga. Teresa is poking at Gia to open up with her while Gia is poking at an eggo waffle – I don’t remember that recipe being in any of T’s cookbooks! I kid, I kid.

Teresa wants to know if Gia thinks she is working hard enough on her relationship with Non-Juicy Joe and if she should do anything differently. Teresa taking advice from a ten-year-old says everything. LOL. In all actuality I thought it was a very sweet and age-appropriate conversation. I appreciated that Teresa wanted Gia to know they are working on things, but I also think Gia is exposed to a leetle too much family drama.

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Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge (formerly known as Kate Middleton), may want to do a little checking around before she chooses a dress for her next public event.

The always-classy Royal showed up for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebration this weekend in a beautiful red Alexander McQueen dress. Catherine is always absolutely stunning, but something has tainted the the near-perfect ensemble – the fact that Kim Kardashian was spotted wearing it last fall in NYC.

Kim’s was the original runway version, with shorter hemline and no sleeves. Catherine had designer Sarah Burton make a few custom tweaks to the dress to make it more conservative and appropriate for her event.

Who do you think wore the dress best?

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True love reigns, y’all. Radar is reporting that very old person Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are giving it another go, for reasons I’m sure have nothing to do with money.

Crystal practically left Hugh at the altar last year, but has come crying back, and per Radar, has been “begging” to be allowed back into the Mansion, probably at the sight of her dwindling bank account. Being a Hef girl does have its perks, as Holly Madison, who now has to work at that God awful Vegas show, can attest to.

In any case, the couple is now back on, and Crystal tweeted to anyone who cares (probably her BFFs at the online tabloid), that she is the #1 girl in the harem yet again: “Yes @hughhefner and I are back together. Yes I am his #1 girl again. Yes we are happy. Hope that clears up any confusion! xo.”

This gives me hope for humanity.

TELL US: ARE YOU HAPPY HEF AND CRYSTAL ARE BACK TOGETHER?

Last night we were treated to a double dose of Sister Wives.  First off, Kody and Meri tackle their fertility issues, and then the Brown clan celebrates Valentine’s Day polygamist style.  Throw in some drama about financing four new homes, and TLC’s bringing the tame drama!  I’m not complaining…I’d take tame over crazy any day of the week!

Kody and his wives are trying to find homes in closer proximity with one another.  Right now, the wives are all spread out over Las Vegas, and the children (all the children!) aren’t really functioning as a family.  The wives meet with a realtor and lender hoping to be able to purchase four houses on the same street.  Currently everything on the street is under construction.  Basically, two of the wives, if approved for financing, can move into two homes within the next month.  However, the other wives will have to wait until their houses are actually built.  Kody and his wives reminisce about their perfect home in Utah, but hopefully they will have four perfect homes in Nevada…sometime.  The lender admits that it isn’t unusual for her to work with polygamists.  However, it’s tricky having five borrowers trying to buy four homes at one time.  Kody, his hair, and his spouses vow (0nce again!  haha!) to get all the necessary paperwork together for the loan officer.

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It looks like there is a new small in the ATL!  Straight From the A is reporting that Nicole Porche will be the newest cast member on Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Apparently, she’s been filming around town!

The site says the new addition is a 5’1 actress (think commercials, local independent films, and Sheree Whitfield) from New Orleans, Louisiana.  She graduated from Southern University and she’s 41-years-old.  According to Straight From the A, Nicole has been married and divorced a few times, but it’s unsure whether she is currently married or has any children…not that being a housewife is criteria to be on the housewives franchise.  While Bravo hasn’t confirmed the Nicole as part of the cast, A’s sources are claiming that Nicole was filming on location and introduced herself as “the newest housewife.”

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