Last night was the final episode of Real Housewives of Miami. It went the way all reunions go with cocktail dress clad and overly spray-tanned women screaming at each other over an utterly useless Andy Cohen. We were spared an Elaine Lancaster appearance. We were rewarded with a Mama Elsa appearance. And we all got tired of Ana Quincoces making herself sound silly by taking repeated jabs atLea Black's age.
C'mon now – if you're gonna rip someone apart you have to be clever about it. (See: Leakes, NeNe, "Wigs" "Trashbox" "Close Your Legs To Married Men!") That's just elementary, like Housewives 101.
Things begin with a drama in review. And that unfortunate drama is Joe Francis and Joanna Krupa's reported unsavory past. Joanna clears up that she was never in Girls Gone Wild but instead hosted an infomercial with Snoop Dog. She also insists she did not "sleep" or "associate" with criminals.
Ana leaps in to accuse Lea of bringing Joe to the party as a "prop" to set Joanna up. Lea denies it, shrieking that Ana is making yet another false accusation and suggests Ana stick to cooking where hopefully she can keep her ingredients straighter than her facts. I wish Lea had said ingrediences.
Ana keeps speaking over everyone and answering for them. Annoying. Shht! The drama over the bitchslap, broom stick wielding, boob-exposing meltdown continues. Yes, let's talk about this some more. It was actually a productive conversation. Adriana de Moura apologized for smacking Joanna and she was disgusted for herself for getting physical. Apparently Adriana was depressed for days following the incident.
Well isn't this interesting! It seems that a liar, liar is in order forReal Housewives of Miami star Adriana de Moura and her "fiance" or shall we say HUSBANDFrederic Marq! Yes, it would appear that Adriana and Frederic are not engaged, but MARRIED already – for more than four years!
After a few Tweets and emails alerting us to the fact that Adriana and Frederic might be lying for the cameras about their engagement, we went searching to see if the rumblings were true. One quick search on the Miami Dade Marriage License Bureau website shows this little bit of photographic evidence.
When someone Tweeted this to Adriana, Aviva Drescher chimed in asking if she had gotten married, to which Adriana replied with "Not Yet!" At least not yet on camera, right? #LiesByBravo?
Take a peek below for the screen shot of the marriage certificate info!
Adriana describes her style as "romantic and trendy" with the requisite "splash of sexy!" As for her style advice, she believes women should just accept themselves and be happy with who they are.
"Starting with the acceptance that NOBODY is perfect, but there is always some part of your body that is beautiful," Adriana shares. "So find out what it is and wear something that will bring attention to that. This way you can FEEL beautiful and when you feel beautiful, you look beautiful to others."
Last night on the Real Housewives of Miami reunion some serious grievances were aired. I mean grievances I didn't even know existed! Somewhere like a shot in the dark Ana Quincoces developed a case of the haters for Lea Black. Did I miss something here? Supposedly the tift originated from a blog Lea did snarking on Ana's kids. Whatever spurned this, it got nasty – not nasty nice – just straight up nasty. To me it reeked of eau de desperate to salvage a S3 contract!
Something about Ana speaking over people, speaking constantly forMarysol Patton, and suddenly developing a sneering distaste for everyone last night just didn't resonate well with me. I mean who died and made her Andy Cohen moderator of this reunion? Not Andy! I mean maybe she was over the BS all these women spout, but listen lady YOU signed up for reality TV and this is what RH of anywhere is. If you can't take the heat, maybe stop quooking.
There's telling the truth and then there's being an ass. And what was that folder Ana was waving around that was swiftly snatched away in the editing portion of the show? Rumors speculate it was "proof" that Lea was up to some salacious behaviors prior to becoming the illustrious Mrs. Black. Other rumors speculate it exposed details of the Black's financials, including those pertaining to the The Black Gala that could discredit the event.
Tonight is all about Miami heat! The ladies of Real Housewives of Miami are getting their first official reunion (if you recall the first one was a WWHL special, aka cluster eff). While not much of the drama has been leaked (what?! Unfathomable), according to previews it is bound to be off the chains.
One snippet reveals that Lea Black gets into it with a strangely worked up Ana Quincoces. Is she really trying to hang onto her contract by being Marysol Patton's ardent defender again? #getyourownstoryline. Messing with the Mayor of Miami and her massive jewels is no way to make friends or influence people, girl!
Below are some photos from tonight's reunion as well as a preview of what's to come!
As always we'll be live-tweeting the drama even if it's too hot to handle. We'll also be focusing on who is wearing what and looks/best and worst! It's the little things in life…
[Photo Credit: Andy Cohen’s Twitter]
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TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE REUNION? WHO DO YOU THINK WILL CAUSE THE MOST DRAMA AT THE REUNION?
I hope that all of our RT readers had a wonderful, stress-free, family-filled Christmas that was devoid of drama…or at the very least, I hope you got some really delicious grub. Of course, what would the holidays be without craziness and chaos? I guess that's what the housewives are for, right?
The Real Housewives of Miami may see their whirlwind season coming to an end, but they certainly aren't going anywhere in the tabloid world. First up, Marysol Patton is talking about all things season three. Sadly, her friend Alexia Echevarria is not having a great holiday. She's been faced with her youngest son's horrible car accident, and now she and her husband are being investigated by the IRS. The only good news for Alexia is that her oldest son Peter will escaping jail time for assaulting a homeless man earlier in the year. Wow and wow. Merry Christmas to him!
On last night's finale of Real Housewives of Miami things were peaceable, nice, and sweet. I kinda expected the reunion to be filmed sans moderator in Vicki Gunvalson's backyard circa S1 of RHOC, aka before these shows descended into non-stop fighting, backstabbing, and made-for-TV personal problems.
Nope, last night's episode featured real, honest-to-goodness drama, and sweetness. I guess after a season of crazy why not end on a high note?
Things begin with the girls still in Bimini. Apparently the bad weather has stranded them and trying to turn lemons into lemonade an energetic Marysol Patton suggests a "Healing Water" ceremony involving flowers and Pucci worn with aquashoes. Marysol explains that her mother believes making a wish and throwing flowers over your head into water can cleanse negative energy and help us find closure and peace.
Lea Black had been passing the time talking to all her friends in jail and so she's game. I mean who wants to hear some wealthy con complain about the frozen peas and lukewarm gravy in the minimum security prison when you could be on vacation right? Adriana de Moura laughs that while alone in their cells at night they're all fantasizing about Lea and Lea didn't seem to find that image appetizing.
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!