After opining about her shopping trip to Crystals 'R Us to stock up calming objects to combat the negativity of the reunion (all of the women should have followed her lead!), Carlton begins her Bravo blog, "Let's face it, I think I have said all I have had to say this whole bloody season. Nothing held back. I really don't want to repeat it again. Honestly I have no regrets. I've said everything that was on my mind. Made it abundantly clear who I like and who are trolls that belong under a bridge. I wished deep in my heart that you had truly gotten an enlightened view about my faith and beliefs, without the dumb background music. Introduced you properly to my incredible husband and family on the level that I deal with everyday, my beautiful and talented girlfriends who I love and only want the very f—ing best for, and my gorgeous nanny who I trust the lives with all of our three children."
Since it was mostly a bunch of squabbling about tit-for-tat and tampon strings, let's make this quick and dirty! I'm gonna start by paying Snarlton Gebbia a compliment. She looks good! Less Wicked Witch Of The Tanning Bed and more Human Flesh who feasts on food and not the blood of innocents.
Right out of the gate Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville are at it over whether or not Lisa lived in Calabasas at some point and filed for bankruptcy. Lisa says no, but according to the $9.99 background check Brandi did on www.stalkurfriends.com (the same site that tricks you into thinking you'll be able to see who's reading your FB page!) Lisa like so did have an address in the valley. Lisa rolls her eyes. Then Brandi claims SPLITS Richards told her about the Kalatrashass living and Ken's financial past.
I'd been crossing my fingers that Kaftan Kyle Richards would be returning to Witch Mountain with sister Kim. However, some insiders are claiming that she is hoping for a pay raise along side new friend Brandi Glanville, former friend Lisa Vanderpump, and lemon loving Yolanda Foster. There's strength in numbers even if those numbers can't stand one another, I suppose!
Seriously what was happening last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Did the producers slip some hallucinogens in Yolanda Foster's virgin vodka soda with a twist of lemon? Or maybe she was just experiencing a "Lyme brain" flare-up?
We're all at the Centennial party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce's most embarrassing day. Kyle Richardswas MOTOBOATING people. I mean, really…? I am quite sure the acting president was forced to resign after this party!
Also, this was the worst collection of finale dresses I've seen in seasons and seasons. Did Kyle"Motoboating" Richards look in a mirror because that was the most unflattering slumpy thing I've ever seen her wear! And Joyce Giraud needs to teach this Splits to pageant walk.
She begins, "Back to Puerto Rico…Kyle seems so hell bent on an apology from Lisa – for what? Is she seriously demanding this huge, blown-out-of-proportion apology from Lisa for allegedly saying 'take the tabloid' regarding Kyle's husbands alleged affair? Really, are you joking? Did you also demand that same apology from Brandi [Glanville] too? Just curious? Good God, give it a bloody rest."
Carlton Gebbia was rushed to the hospital via ambulance last night after she got WASTED at dinner and passed out cold only 20 minutes in!!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, whose job is already reportedly on the line, hosted a dinner at Mastro's Steakhouse for six of her girlfriends last night. The ladies were downing shots of tequila and she passed out cold at the table!
In her Bravo blog, Lisa begins, "As we conclude this fiasco of a vacation (I use that word loosely), it brings it all back…I understand Joyce and Michael's comment saying that we should have answered. But, as Joyce now says when she sees the footage since she wasn't there, I answered on the beach–and that for most people would've been enough. So when I witness Yolanda stating I left because I didn't want to have that conversation…she was right. I knew what they were looking for. They were looking for blood. It is quite fascinating to see the two-faced conversations, full of animosity from people I believed to be friends, that led up to this. I hope they are proud of themselves and what they see. I wouldn't be–that's a certainty."
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ousted Lisa Vanderpump from Puerto Rico and bonded over how awesome it is to have the reigning queen off the island. Temporarily they're all getting along until the jockeying for position resumes anew. I think it's safe to say Kim Richards is out of the running.
In Puerto Rico all the ladies meet for breakfast where Joyce Giraudhas dressed in what is in her approximation casual pageant gear. Aka, a maxi dress with sparkles and spangles that weigh more than she does.