On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, Carole Radziwill and Dorinda Medley take it to the streets, heading to D.C. for the Women’s March, while back in NYC Ramona Singer shellacs her hair back in a tragic Blonde-Ambition-meets-Pinot-and-Ambien look and throws a party with the shadiest guest list she can summon. Ramona’s informant friend Missy, who accused Tom D’Agostino of snogging her in a limo while concurrently being engaged to Luann De Lesseps, is resurrected from her UES cryogenic chamber for the evening to confront the recently married couple. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer continues planning her escape, and Sonja Morgan tries to understand what the hell Frenchie is saying.
We begin with Tinsley and Carole meeting for lunch, where they break Tinsley’s sad situation down: She’s living with an oppressive tyrant and needs to move out. Her mom is coming into town to help her apartment hunt, in fact. Carole and Tinsley were also invited to the Winter Botanical Garden, which solidified them as new “pals” in the social rags. It also helped Tinsley’s socialite comeback tour, which she still sadly imagines is real.
She starts off, “So we’re back in NYC, and I could not be happier. I will deal with the disaster that is the Berkshires when I go back for Christmas, but until then, I am just going to try to enjoy the rest of the holiday season and forget about it. Onto a different kind of holiday party, a Skinnygirl extravaganza! Bethenny clearly went for it with this holiday party. I think the best part (besides my face on a Christmas ornament) was the Skinnygirl ice sculpture. How often in your life can you drink out of an ice luge, see your face on an ornament, learn how to open an oyster, and drink eggnog out of a chocolate chip cup?”
To kick off this week’s roundup of the reality TV stars’ Instagram pics, we have Real Housewives of New York star Dorinda Medley doing what she does best: making us laugh. “I told you I never waste food,” she joked, “#summerfun #lettucesee.”
I don’t know about y’all, but the Countess has taught me everything I know about social graces. No, money really can’t buy you class. If she hadn’t shared that kernel of wisdom, I certainly wouldn’t have learned it from the bevy of reality stars that clog up my Bravo programming. Also, don’t be all uncool. Who wants to be uncool in the eyes of Luann de Lesseps D’Agostino? Not this girl, that’s for sure!
As you know, the Real Housewives of New York star tied the knot to her controversial beau Tom D’Agostino on the latest episode, proving, yet again, that money doesn’t buy class, but it can cause a middle aged woman to turn a blind eye to said new husband’s blatant shenanigans by going through with a very elegant wedding ceremony. And, might I add, what we know about elegance is thanks to Luann. It’s learned, my friend. Now, I’m going to pour out some of my Ramona Singer pinot for the Countess, as she is no longer, but what a great ride it was.
Bethenny breaks down her thoughts on this week’s episode, which she says was certainly easier to live through than last. “Well, this week was a little lighter,” she comments. “If I can host a party where Dorinda Medley experiences ‘just the tip’ and Carole Radziwill swigs from a luge, then my holiday work is done.” Bethenny’s marketing and sales work is done too, I assume, as that holiday party obviously was one giant Skinnygirl commercial.
Another week, another Jill Zarin resurgence on Bravo. This woman is seriously everywhere all of a sudden. The thirst is real, but it’s certainly entertaining. From showing up on Real Housewives of New York (again) to appearing on Watch What Happens Live, the fandom got a double dose of Jill last night.
Yes, Luann de Lesseps was there too, but she didn’t say anything new. We get it: she loves Tom D’Agostino, they’re so happy, she found her soulmate, they’ve been through so much. It’s come to a point where I feel like I could do an interview on Luann’s behalf and answer all of the questions using the same phrases that she would. Obviously, that’s a sad thing for me. Clearly I read and watch way too much RHONY content, but whatever. You’re reading this, so on some level you must get me.
After months of deflection, derailment, and Tom D’Agostino’s devilish doings, Countess Luann de Lesseps finally married the man who offers her the lifestyle of her dreams. Yes, Mrs. Luann D’Agostino is now a commoner! Jet setting to Palm Beach, vacationing in Aspen, lolling around the balcony of her Manhattan penthouse wondering whether she should eat another peeled grape. In short, she’s just like us! If we were filthy rich and married to questionable dudes. But the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York aren’t quite done questioning Luann’s every move, and they have another chance to openly gawk at her happiness when she invites them to a post-wedding celebration.
Speaking of parties, Bethenny Frankel hosts one of her own – but guess who’s not invited? Okay, we all know it’s Ramona Singer. Because homegirl went NUCLEAR last week in the Berkshires and is persona non grata to both Bethenny and Dorinda Medley now. Poor Dorinda is still resurrecting her house from the Ramonsoon that all but destroyed the joint, not to mention Sonja Morgan jacking her PJ’s in broad daylight! There’s also moving afoot. As in: Adam moving out of Carole Radziwill’slitterbox apartment, and Frenchie moving into Sonja’s townhouse. Tinsley Mortimer, as always, is left pondering the life choices that brought her to this tragic rung on the downwardly mobile socialite ladder.