It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from our good friend Farrah Abraham. But there have been two rumors about her circulating recently and we felt the need to update you, her fans. HA. I’m just kidding. Farrah’s only fan is Farrah. Um, and maybe Teen Mom 2 stalker Adam Lind, which brings me to the first rumor. Brace yourselves. It’s a doozy.
Rumor #1 – Adam wants to break into the porn industry, and he thinks the easiest way to shoot to super-porn-stardom is to make a tape with Farrah, the backdoor to endless possibilities.
“Adam is eager to get into the porn world and thinks that Farrah would make the perfect partner,” claimed a totally reliable source. #sarcasm “Adam loves what Farrah has done with her Teen Mom career. He thinks they could really rake in a lot of money since they’re both celebrities.” HAHAHAHA <celebrities> HAHAHA <can’t breathe> HAHAHAHA
Of course, when I say current events, I mean how Farrah thinks she could save Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson‘s marriage, how Fox News practically admitted they’re out to get her, and how Farrah “dabbles” with businessmen. Surely no one expected anything deep or relevant to the real world, right?
Seriously does former Teen MomFarrah Abraham think before she opens her mouth? Or does she think if she does not contact the paps or the tabloids herself, then no one will find out what she is doing when a camera is not pointed in her direction?
So we will get to the juiciest Farrah news first. There is a rumor floating around Hollywood — and reported by Crazy Days and Nights in their Blind Items Revealed section — that Farrah Abraham has allegedly gone from porn star to prostitute.
Today, Farrah tells us why she outshines all other porn stars, forgets a major detail about the main character in her erotic trilogy, and gives us a glimpse of what to expect from book one, Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making.
Farrah hates being called a porn star – poor thing – so she feels the need to explain to us regular folk the difference between a sex tape and a porn. "I think people purposely don't know how to separate a celebrity sex tape and a regular porn. I mean, I have wonderful friends who are in the adult industry. They make porn for a living – that is what they always do. Like, payment is different. Like, living your life is different. Taking care of yourself. Everything is different."
Speaking to Starcasm, Farrah said she can't bear to follow her former co-stars, "I wish them all the best – but it does make me very sad to still see them make poor choices." Seriously? Because a DUI and a PORN are great choices?!?
"I can't even tell you – if I had to go through all the same struggles again that I had to deal with the first time with Sophia – and I did not like that and I knew better – it would crush me," added Farrah. Um, what? Can I buy a vowel? "So I'm very sad the other Teen Moms don't take that as seriously as they should."
So, I think we can all agree that nothing says Happy Friday to my Reality Tea friends like a Farrah Abraham post with a huge close-up picture, right?
The Couples Therapy singleton gave two in-depth interviews recently, one to Starcasm and one to THZ, but I pulled only the best quotes from each to spare you repetition. Not to mention a Farrah induced coma.
Farrah celebrated her 23rd birthday last week. How does she feel about that?
"I feel like it is the right age to be, which is good to say, because sometimes I’m like ‘Ugh my life’ and I’m trying to handle everything fame has gotten me," said Farrah. "I’m 23 – and it feels right!" Raise your hand if you're already lost.
So, today's good news is, Farrah has more to say about her book and life. The bad news is that I have pictures from Farrah's 23rd birthday party too!
Why did Farrah decide to write an erotic trilogy? "The whole sex symbol – that hype – and I'm single and 23, I felt now is the proper time for me to write about some fantasies and some great things that luckily I turned into a positive." Why I love Farrah so much – she never fails to turn "great" things into "positives".
As Farrah Abraham continues to promote her erotic trilogy – Celebrity Sex Tape – she continues to remind me how important it is for my young children to learn vocabulary and how to put words together to form coherent sentences. "I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex," Farrah tells FOX 411. "I think it is because I am 22 – and I am kind of single. What better way to express yourself in a positive way than writing. I really enjoy writing."
When will Farrah begin to express herself in English?
So, the Couples Therapy singleton says we'll see her on VH1 again soon, but she claims reality TV isn't her primary focus right now. "I am looking forward to grow my portfolio with literacy and the books and different genres. Hopefully I'll write a business book and I'll do more fictional things." Or hopefully not. Also? Farrah expects E.L. James to feel pressured to write more to keep up with her amazing portfolio of literacy.