After the bachelor party hijinks, Tamra figures the best way to continue emasculating her future husband with dance lessons. Tamra shouldn't be dancing. To be honest, I went to get a yogurt during this scene and didn't feel like reliving it so I plowed forward.
Later, Tamra is going to shop for bridesmaids dresses, and Vicki Gunvalson is a no show. Heather Dubrow and Ricky (and some other Bravo extra) are joining her, and Heather realizes she shouldn't be surprised that Tamra doesn't know the difference between blush, cream, ivory, and buff. Who cares? Tamra has plenty of time to find her perfect bridesmaids' dresses. The wedding is two weeks away, which is like an eternity in Bravo-land. The limo pulls up to the elite boutique, and Tamra has flashbacks of her many tequila-soaked vacays to Tijuana. Refusing to get out of the car, Tamra calls Diann screaming about the hideous thrift store. Thankfully, Diann is a bitch-whisperer and she's able to calm Tamra with coos of pricier frocks from the poor woman in the extended stay who designed for Alexis Couture. Thank goodness!
So, third time's the charm for Tamra Barney? I guess she'll be the judge…literally! Last night was the first installment of Tamra's OC Wedding limited series, and Eddie better hope his recent legal woes don't break the bank…because Tamra's wedding is definitely going to leave a mark on his account! Three dresses, a wild bachelor party, and drama galore later, we know that Tami and Ed do make it down the aisle.
It's been Tamra's dream to get married at the St. Regis, and a cancellation is about to make that happen. Tamra has enlisted celebrity wedding planner Diane Valentine. She did Usher's wedding, y'all! As they tour the venue with Diane and her man of honor, Tamra is beyond ready for her big day.
Back at the couple's gym, Eddie is channeling his inner Shaun T. Tamra reveals that they have an opening at the St. Regis…in five weeks. Eddie can't understand why they need a giant production after they've both already been married. Tamra whines that she's never had a big wedding, and she deserves it! After all, she's already practiced twice.
Princess Heather Dubrow, most esteemed actress of all times (back off Meryl Streep) took a break from Academy Award winning sitcom guesties to blog about that other thing she does in her spare time outside of winning like all the Tonys in all the world: Real Housewives of Orange County.
On the heels of the final installment of the reunion, in which Vicki Gunvalson got the frizz put back in her professionally straightened hair as she was forced to confront all the lameness that is Brooks Ayers, Heather gives her comments on the emotional season and what she hopes is to come.
"I felt differently this year at the reunion. No longer the 'new girl' I have now formed real relationships with these women and am invested in them," Heatherbegins. And with real friendships comes real ammunition!
It's always odd to refer to reality TV as too much reality but last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was like watching a high-gloss, ultraglam version of Intervention.
Vicki Gunvalson needs a serious wake-up call and unfortunately being called out on national television by her daughter and close friends wasn't enough to do it.
Here let me try to help: Vicki – BROOKS AYERS is a loser. He's using you. He's gross. No one likes him for a reason. Please dump him, get a restraining order, and then get thoroughly STD tested. Hey that's just my advice, but I think you should take it! I'm starting to think Brooks has some serious mega dirt on Vicki – is this a case of blackmail gone Stockholm Syndrome?
Joining him will be Briana Culberson whose hubby Ryan is behind the recordings. Vicki apparently breaks down. In the wake of all the drama there is a lot of swirling information about whether or not Vicki and Brooks have broken up?
I dunno what you call that sort of cry where no liquid emanates? I mean is it all the botox? At the very least I would expect wine to come out 'cause all they consume is wine. Well, that and bulls#*!.
So much happened last night – where to begin…
Well, let's all get this out of the way: Alexis Bellino talked about JIM BLOB's man part. It was the most awkward 2 minutes of television ever! She tripped and stumbled over a forced non sequitur about how he wears a size 14 shoe if you know what she's saying… EW! So that's how things started and if you can believe it they went downhill from there!
After surviving (just barely) her first reunion, Lydia admits she isn't proud of her behavior and she isn't sure this environment of "constant attacks and debating" is for her! She also explains why her magazine chose not to feature Heather Dubrow on the cover, but she does offer Heather an apology for being snarky. Apparently the two are still friends… for now!
"So that wasn't fun! The ladies tried to warn me that my my first reunion would be intense, which is an understatement! I don't think you could ever be mentally prepared for a day like that," Lydia begins in her Bravo blog.
Alright let's dive into this whole Real Housewives of Orange County reunion thing! We've got Memory Lapse Monday happening here because Tamra Barney is confusing this season's storyline with one from two years ago. Did her shock therapy malfunction? Yeppers, Gretchen Rossi is back in the hotseat for cheating on her deceased fiancé Jeff with another man. Nevermind that NO ONE CARES CAUSE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS FOR FOUR YEARS, we're rehashing it aaaagain.
So with that out of the way let's talk outfits. Gretchen is clearly bringing her little portable Barbie closet she had from childhood to the designer for Alexis Couture and asking for direct reproductions. All of her little girl dreams of sparkles, flounces, and seafoam fantasies are being brought to life. Seriously Gretchen is reliving my youth with that aquamarine number. I especially loved how she matched the side-weave to the one-sleeve.
Heather Dubrow's hair needs a deep conditioner and a good cut. Even though I'm sure Princess Champs On Ice probably pays $300 for a haircut, it looks like Gretchen played Barbies with Heather's head. Since Heather is the brown-hair Barbie friend Gretchen practiced "beauty school" with her locks. Result: fail.